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Regarding Chat - New Guidelines

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Dear Members,

The main focus of After Silence is seeking as well as providing support in a safe and healing environment. Because your safety and well-being are of the utmost importance to us, we are always on the alert in regard to behaviors that may disrupt the healing connections that are formed here day after day.

Lately it has come to our attention that the Chat Room, while providing many of us with an opportunity to connect and heal, has been the center of arguments and unhealthy discussions. This has prompted the moderators and chat moderators to come together and draw new guidelines.

If a member is willingly putting herself, himself, or other people in danger (particularly if children or defenseless people), she or he should not post about it or chat about it here. While many of us struggle with self esteem and often feel powerless in regard to our lives and our choices, willingly endangering ourselves or someone else shows an alarming lack of judgment and interest in our well-being and the well-being of these around us. We cannot entertain conversations based on willingly endangering anyone nor can we support such actions, even if dictated by lack of self-esteem or other personal problems we can empathize with.

If a member is choosing to do something which most survivors would find questionable, dangerous, and/or ethically wrong, this is not the place to post or chat about it. When a fellow member shows complete disregard for her or his well being to the point of endangering herself/himself (or these around her or him), other members feel helpless, powerless, and distressed.

If, for example, a member chooses to go on a date with someone whom she/he knows is a sex offender or chooses to allow minors in the vicinity of sex offenders, there is nothing another chatter or member could say “to make it better.” By asking others to support extremely unhealthy decisions (regardless of the circumstances), we only trigger and upset fellow members, who have too often felt powerless in their past. And by allowing this kind of content here, we implicitly support it.

Out of respect for other members and their emotional safety, from now on please refrain from sharing decisions that show disregard for the person making the decision as well as for these around her/him. This applies to both forums and chat room and violation of this and/or any guidelines or rules will result in loss of member privileges.

Thank you for your understanding.

AS Moderators & Chat Moderators.

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