Feel A Bit Vulnerable Tonight

[star]

Hi

I dont really know what I want to say in this email. but i think I want to just say things are going on in the back of my mind that are related to the sexual abuse I may have sufferred but I am too frightened to think about it. I just let it kind of play over on the edge of my consciousness and just feel wierd as I go about my daily life. Does that make any sense to anyone? Probably not, I don't make sense very much when I feel like this.

I have been in denial for a while. Sometimes I think stuff has happened to me, sometimes I convince myself it hasn't and I am simply mad. Tonight I dont know whats true.

All I know is that I feel very troubled tonight and very vulnerable. WHen I feel this I usually become destructive but I am going to not do that tonight and try to stick with the vulnerable feelings that my therapist says are good to stick with.

I feel wierd tonight. Life can be hard sometimes can't it?!

Sorry for a rambled email, just feel wierd and just need to make contact with someone. I din't now where to post this, but I am a bit scared to go to the other boards becuase I am not sure I am ready for that yet - one step at a time is best I think.

Sorry.

Thank you for reading.

[AmyLyn]

You are not alone, I could've written that myself a few months ago. Hold on, you can make it through this rough patch.

We're all here for you

[sueellen]

Not alone at all.

Sue

[Magdelena]

Glad you found a place to post your feelings. I could have written that myself as well. I too go back and forth between questioning whether it really happened and just feeling mad and confused.

I hope you get what you need from this site. You are not alone.

[Survivors sanctuary]

Sending hugs, with AS one thing is you are not totally alone and that can help so much ..

:hug: :hug:

[dodo]

Hi and welcome to AS

best wishes

karen

[kath]

Hey Star,

What you've expressed is not strange or wierd at all although you may feel it. What you have described is a prefectly normal reaction to a traumatic event. Especially the bit where you say your unsure if it happened, if it was all made up. I used to feel like i was lying when i talked about my sexual abuse simply because it just felt so surreal that maybe i imagined it. So you are definatly not alone on that one!

Stay strong with your feelings of self destruction. You are doing the right thing by reaching out to AS for support becuase there is a world-wide network of friendly people here to help you through.

Also, congradulations on having the courage to seek help from a professional and trying to stick to your coping strategies. It can be really hard to turn around unhealthy habits and takes real strength and determination so you are definatly heading in the right direction.

Hang in there!

Kath

[Butterflyangelbaby]

Hey Welcome to AS

Your not alone we are all here for you