Unsure Posted October 13, 2006 Share Posted October 13, 2006 It's taken me some time to build the courage to join and I'm still a little unsure and uneasy about this, but you all seem very supportive and friendly. I sought the help of a therapist when my daughter was two and it occurred to me just what kind of impact the nightmares and paranioa had on my daily life. After three years I could still talk about it only briefly, with very little detail and always changing the topic to something less emotional. I always thought it was being raped in high school that had caused the damage but have been doing some research and think my childhood may have been more damaging. I'm just not sure. I wasn't molested, I loved him and he loved me. All I know is that when I found out what verginity was I didn't have mine anymore. It's been 22 years and I still can't talk about it, I can write about it, but I can't talk about it. I don't really blame myself but I can't blame him either, he was also 6. How did he know to tell me it was a game, or that I'd be scared of losing his love? I told one of my best friends at 13 but she didn't believe me, I didn't tell anyone else until I was 20. I prefered to keep it buried and drugs really helped with that but I have a child to raise and can't keep that up forever, so I gave up the drugs and all of a sudden it's there all the time no matter how hard I try to keep it buried. Link to post
jaded_chaos Posted October 13, 2006 Share Posted October 13, 2006 Welcome, and I'm very sorry for your pain. AS has helped me a lot and I hope, as you continuing posting, the awesome people here will help you too. Its great to have a place to talk, especially when its the only place we feel safe doing so. Take care. Link to post
Tulula Posted October 13, 2006 Share Posted October 13, 2006 Welcome I hope with the support of others around you you can begin to come to terms with the pain you have had to endure. Everyone is very supportive here at AS and I hope you find what you need here. Good luck Link to post
brobbitt Posted October 14, 2006 Share Posted October 14, 2006 Hi and welcome to the goup.. What a sad story, sounds like that little boy should be here too doesn't it :o( Hope you find the things you seek here and welcome again Brian Link to post
splitperson3 Posted October 14, 2006 Share Posted October 14, 2006 Welcome to AS...hope you get what you might need here. take care, kevin Link to post
vowelgal Posted October 14, 2006 Share Posted October 14, 2006 welcome to as, i'm glad you found your way here. it is an incredible place to work things out and get feedback from people who are supportive, caring and 100% in your corner. post when you are able, we are all here for you. Link to post
Unsure Posted October 16, 2006 Author Share Posted October 16, 2006 Hi and welcome to the goup.. What a sad story, sounds like that little boy should be here too doesn't it :o( Hope you find the things you seek here and welcome again Brian Thank you! I do wonder how he's doing with his life. I'm torn on this part of my story, I'm angry with him but still care and worry for him. Thanks to all of you for your support! Link to post
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