Hi

[InLoveWithHer]

Hi,

My fiance suffers from PTSD. I've realized I could use a place to come and chat or share thoughts/feelings. At first I thought that a manly man's role was to overcome all symptoms and side effects of trauma by sheer patience and stolidness -- as though the woman I love was struggling with cancer, and I just need to be strong and hold her. Harder than I realized. I love her very much, and each day we learn to communicate more. Today is a good day; we're both laughing. This was a hard week, though. Anyway, name's Dan, and I thought I'd say Hi. I saw this web site and it looked like a place to stop by. Not sure what to say. Hi!

Dan

[Donna]

Hey Dan,

Good for you for wanting to seek out info in order to help out your loved one, that is so few and far between. Make yourself comfy and welcome to AS.

Donna =)

[dodo]

Hi and welcome to AS

best wishes

karen

[Rachael]

hi good for you supporting your partner, thats great

[Vera]

Hi Dan and welcome

I hope Brian will read your msg and perhaps offer you some of his secondary wisdom. He is a secondary here too and a very wise person.

Feel free to post anytime.

[brobbitt]

Hi Dan and welcome to the group...

I think that five tenths of what you need to do you are doing..patience, stolidness and holding are so important not only for your wife but also for you , the other five tenths can be made up with loving and telling each other of this love for one another, which invariably means that the communication and feelings of acceptance increase too..

PTSD is a real illness but one that can be fully recovered from given the right time and circumstance.There are lots of useful sites that can be found simply by typing pstd into your search engine which may help you in terms of awareness..

I think your forum name says it all doesn't it and given your actions I am sure this is reciprocated fully..

Brian

Hi,

My fiance suffers from PTSD. I've realized I could use a place to come and chat or share thoughts/feelings. At first I thought that a manly man's role was to overcome all symptoms and side effects of trauma by sheer patience and stolidness -- as though the woman I love was struggling with cancer, and I just need to be strong and hold her. Harder than I realized. I love her very much, and each day we learn to communicate more. Today is a good day; we're both laughing. This was a hard week, though. Anyway, name's Dan, and I thought I'd say Hi. I saw this web site and it looked like a place to stop by. Not sure what to say. Hi!

Dan

[InLoveWithHer]

Hey Brian (and everyone),

Thanks so much...for both the welcome & the kind words/advice.

Communication is a biggie for us -- we're getting a lot better at it. I'm a very verbal person, while she is very nonverbal. This is hardest when we're upset.

I think the things that are hardest for me to cope with are: when she is triggered but I don't realize it (then I might make it worse, or she may lash out...or shut down emotionally), and when our intimacy suffers during periods when she has nightly nightmares. It isn't the lack of physical intimacy that is most difficult as much as the lack of mood, of being told that I'm desired. We're finding ways to signal & remind each other of things.

D

Edited July 28, 2006 by InLoveWithHer

[-fuerza-]

as everyone has said, it is so wonderful that you are stepping up and choosing to be such a supportive person in your wife's healing. having someone to confide in, trust, and share with is a great and necessary asset to any survivor's recovery. keep up the great work, and welcome