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Just Joined!


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Hi there!

I'm Naomi from Jerusalem, Israel. I joined a few minutes ago after seeing a link on LiveJournal. I've been a member of pandys for a couple years and have found it very helpful, and I'm sure that this site will be just as warm and supportive :)

A bit about myself: I'm 22 (almost 23) years old, single, living alone. I recently was released from a 4 month stay in hospital for an ED and anxiety issues and have made some progress but am still very much in turmoil. I have some eating issues and often have panic attacks which tend to cripple me emotionally as they occur. I have been told by a few doctors/mental health professionals that my case is not psychiatric in nature; rather, it is psychological, meaning that pills don't do nothin' for me.

Why am I here? I was in an... unhealthy relationship two years ago with a very, very controling woman. I would rather not go into any details now, but suffice to say that a month after that relationship ended my eating disorder began. Over the past two years the flashbacks have mostly subsided but the aftereffects remain: disordered eating, panic attacks etc.

I have never been quite healthy, mentally. My psych's have agreed that my father was very emotionally abusive towards me and I grew up with very intense self hatred. I can't seem to shake the belief, the knowledge that I deserve pain, suffering, torture. I feel that I deserve all the hurt I can give myself and whatever others can dish out as well. Needless to say, this has led to some unhealthy behaviors.

On the bright side I've stopped cutting (over 2 months without!) and I've been using a cream that has been making my scars melt away. I'm ok with walking around with t-shirts and tank-tops and sometimes even feel self-confident. During my hospitalisation I gained a lot of insight into the sources of many of my problems (from the eating to the panic attacks to the self hate) and hope to continue that progress outside.

Anyway, I guess that's enough of an introduction. Nice to meet you all!

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:hi: I am new here too. I just wanted to say Hi! It sounds like you have been through so much and I hope you are proud of yourself and how far you have come to be where you are now. :tealribbon: I look forward to getting to know you better.

:hi:

Marley

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Hi Naomi :hi:

Welcome to After Silence. :hug:

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welcome to AS .. :hug:

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Welcome to AS, Naomi!

And, may I just say...you deserve light, love, beauty, peace and comfort! :hi::tealribbon:

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welcome to AS Naomi...sorry again about talking so much about my issues tonight in the chat room...sometimes i get carried away...i hope you were able to talk after i left...take care and i hope you get what you need in this place....kevyn

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