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Survivor Connections - Poll & Terms of Service

Help Us Pick a Topic for Session #1  

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Hello, all!

Hoping you have all had a pleasant weekend.  

Survivor Connections Zoom Chat Gatherings will be soon be coming to After Silence!

We are very excited to be able to offer an additional means of connecting with other survivors.  At this time, our first topic is not yet chosen, but the After Silence Administrative Team has put together the following Terms of Service and information that we hope will ensure a smooth and comfortable experience for this upcoming session and any additional sessions we may have. 

Terms of Service/Rules

  • This is an After Silence site feature that is member exclusive.  Only registered, ACTIVE members who are in the 'survivor' member group may participate.  In addition, member accounts must be in good standing (no warnings or restrictions imposed) and at least 60 days old, with a post count of 50 or more. There are absolutely no exceptions to this rule.  If you do not currently qualify for the 60 days/50 post count this time, please do not worry - there will be opportunities in the future to participate, as long as we maintain interest in these chat sessions. 
  • The After Silence forum rules will apply to any After Silence sanctioned meetings.  Two AS staff members will be present at all scheduled meetings.  Any rule-breaking or disrespect to other meeting participants will result in immediate ejection from the meeting and a ban from future meetings.
  • We will need a minimum of five people to 'gather.'  For now, we will set the maximum number of occupants to fifteen.  We will be operating on a first come, first serve basis, and if there are any cancelations prior to our scheduled meeting, we will indicate that a spot has opened up, in case anyone else would like to last-minute register.  To register to attend an event, you will need to send a PM to @Capulet or @MeBeMary with a request to join a scheduled gathering.  Within this PM, please state you have read and understand the Terms of Service. Please ask any questions beforehand, as we do not want to take time away from these sessions to address potential problems or concerns. We would like the to spend the session time interacting about the topic chosen.  If approved for attendance, you will receive a link to the gathering in your PMs. 
  • You will be responsible for joining meetings you choose to attend with your After Silence username.  Please take care to protect your personal information by ensuring that if you use Zoom for other reasons (work, school, etc), you change your display name to your AS username and remove any avatars or photographs with identifying information before signing into the meeting.  Face pictures are okay, but please do not reveal your location or publish your email address as a username.
  • As with other online support groups, privacy is of paramount importance.  Please ensure you are in a safe place, and that distractions are minimal (with no children, significant others, housemates, parents, friends, etc present) and that you respect the privacy and safety of other participants and leave the meeting if you are not alone or your/others’ privacy is not guaranteed.
  • You are NOT required to put your camera on.  You may opt to put on your camera only when speaking, or not at all.  The choice is completely yours - we want you to feel comfortable.  Zoom has a chat box feature that can be utilized if you would like to speak to everyone using the chat feature.  
  • In order to help others to feel safe, you may not enter the meeting if you are at present in crisis, intoxicated, or under the influence of recreational drugs. 
  • As stated in our board rules, DID alters are, unfortunately, also unable to participate in these gatherings.

These Terms of Service may be revised as needed - for now, these are what we would like for participants to become familiar with.  

Please visit the poll posted above, and let us know what topic(s) you might like us to start with. :) 

Sending everyone strength and positivity - hoping to have enough results next week so that we can begin to schedule our first gathering.


- Cap

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  • Capulet changed the title to Survivor Connections - Poll & Terms of Service
10 hours ago, Doll6 said:

Thanks @Capulet!! Just wondering what time these gatherings are going to be offered and whether times will change? 
thanks 😊

Hi, Doll!

Thank you for this question!  

It is important to let us know what time zone you will be joining us from when registering. :)  We will try to host sessions during different times so that we can accommodate everyone.  It may sometimes be morning for some and night for others, but we'll make it work as best as we can, even if we need to schedule the same topic twice so that it's more time-friendly for members who would like to participate.


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On 8/7/2023 at 6:44 PM, Capulet said:

Hi, Doll!

Thank you for this question!  

It is important to let us know what time zone you will be joining us from when registering. :)  We will try to host sessions during different times so that we can accommodate everyone.  It may sometimes be morning for some and night for others, but we'll make it work as best as we can, even if we need to schedule the same topic twice so that it's more time-friendly for members who would like to participate.


I am still on vacay so doesn't matter to me, but I am on GMT + 1 since we have summertime. 

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Thanks Cap and everyone for your hard work. 

I have a few questions.   How do we access zoom and how does it work?  When do you think meetings will begin. 

I'm on pacific time. 

Thanks and take care Patti and Peaches 

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Zoom is an app you can download for free. You can find it in your phone app store or your PC app store. It takes a couple minutes to download.


I was new to Zoom before a staff meeting, we had a few weeks ago. You can input the information they ask for or sign-in using another account like shown above. I opted to use Facebook myself, but since I opted not to use the camera (my pc doesn't even have a camera!), the FB picture was my default Zoom picture. It was good for me, as it showed nothing to identify my personal information...it was a picture of Shyla! 😻 

Once you get the link to a session, it will allow you to go into the settings to change your real name to your AS username. If you decide to not to use the camera, you will need to decide how you want to be displayed. If you use another app to login you may want to go to the Zoom settings to change the default picture. You can even opt for no picture at all, and your square will just display your name. This can be done before you enter the "meeting room". 

There is also a feature that works on some devices where you can choose an animated avatar. It works in coordination with your camera, so the avatar has some motion, as it mimics you, like when you speak or tilt your head. 

     Take a Walk on the Wild Side with Avatars | Zoom Blog   

We were talking about maybe keeping the poll open until the weekend, then staff will prepare the session and pick a day/time that coordinates with their schedules to host. We will announce the date then, with perhaps a week or two for everyone to sign-up. My guess is we will announce the first session date/topic by Sunday. 

Let us know if there are any more questions. :) 

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@MeBeMary, you are a saint - I was actually thinking about writing up the Zoom info and letting folks know to download it if they haven't already used it before in some capacity!  You beat me to it, which is not surprising - given the amount of stress on my plate these days.  I'm so grateful you've taken the time to let everyone know how to set up their free accounts ahead of time so that we're more prepared for our first session, which will likely be in 2-3 weeks. :)  Thank you, friend.

So, regardless of how complicated it looks, it is very, very easy to do...download the Zoom software on your phones or PCs.  If you've already used Zoom before, you will need to go into your personal settings/prefs and make sure your real name is not visible.  In our gathering sessions, you should use your AS name and if you would like for us to call you by another name, a nickname or a first name only.  We are taking privacy very, very seriously.  

I would be happy to do some 'practice runs,' so some of you can learn the ropes.  Just send me a PM if you would like, and we'll set it up.  I have time in the evenings, mostly, and can pop on to say hello to anyone who would like.  Would that be something that may be helpful?  

@Patti72, I know you will be using a mobile phone and we certainly can help you to get set up if you're interested.  I would love to have you at the sessions if time permits for it, and Peaches is welcome to join, too. :) 


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Me and peaches would love to come.  I'm going to try to download the app.   I'll let you know how it goes. 

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@Patti72 - please do let me know how it works out.  I would be happy to see if I can help you (and Peaches) to connect. :)

We will be choosing a first topic tonight by 11:59pm EST and announcing it shortly after.  So, please - if you have not yet voted, please do so prior to tonight's deadline. :)  

Please do not worry if your preferred topic is not 'in the lead.'  We will try to do them all, eventually!

Additionally, we may need to schedule two sessions (same topic) at different times in order to accommodate those whose time zones might interfere with their attendance.  This will depend, of course, on whether we can adequately staff these extra meetings.  We will do the absolute best we can to make this happen.  In order to ensure there is space, we are asking that you choose which meeting better suits your schedules, and to only attend one.

Thank you to all of you who have voted, so far!  This truly helps us to better prepare for future sessions.  Please continue to brainstorm and send along ideas for topics of discussion to @Capulet (me) or to @MeBeMary!


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Me and peaches would love to come.  I tried to download the zoom app.   But it was weird because it wanted my debit card information.   I wasn't sure what to do.   I feel really stupid. 

Edited by Patti72
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Oh, @Patti72. You definitely are not stupid. Just takes a bit to figure it out and phones can be trickier. You likely choose the business version, which does the hosting. AS is the host, as a participant, you should be able to download for free. 

I did a fake account that I will delete after getting step-by-step screenshots for you or anyone else who may need them. Earlier I mentioned that I used my FB account to signup, but this time I used an email address that I seldom use, as it wouldn't allow me a second account with the same information. 

1. Download ⬇️ the app, then click open when download is completed.

IMG_0825[2].PNG IMG_0826[1].PNG 

2. Click the sign up button and enter a birth year and hit continue. 

IMG_0343.PNG IMG_0344.PNG 

3. Enter email address (or select a sign-up method below the continue button) and click continue.

4. For email sign-up you will receive a code, via email, to enter. 

IMG_0346.PNG IMG_0347.PNG

4. Enter your name and create a password (if you use FB etc., it will use this sign in info). Click continue. 

IMG_0348[1].PNG IMG_0350.PNG

5. Personalize your profile display name and add a picture if you want one. Click continue.

6. You are set up. Click Get Started. This will come to your main screen on the app. 

IMG_0354.PNG IMG_0355.PNG

7. Wait for our session meeting link or code to be sent to you, then you can open up your app.

8. Click join and enter your meeting ID and click join to enter the session.  

IMG_0356.PNG IMG_0827[1].PNG

***Note: we will have a "waiting room" set up, so you might not enter right away. The host will need to accept you, so if you're early or if it takes a couple of minutes, not to worry. It may take a few minutes, so be patient.  


That should be it. Let us know if you still have any problems. :throb:      

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For those worrying about downloading the app, I did some research, and you can join from your browser, without the download.

Some options may be limited, like avatars, but you can join without the download. 


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Thanks Cap and Mary.   I finally got it.

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I am considering showing my face, but I am not expecting anyone else to turn the camera on just because I did. 

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The choice will be yours, @WannaMoveOn. There are different options for different comfort levels...and all are acceptable. 

I personally choose a picture of my furbaby Shyla. Others may want to attempt to see if the avatar works...or even just having the username in the participant's box.

It's hard to say what each participant will choose; you may not be the only one going "live" ...it is what is great about using Zoom. We have choices! :throb: 


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3 hours ago, WannaMoveOn said:

I am considering showing my face, but I am not expecting anyone else to turn the camera on just because I did. 

I will be 'live,' too. :) 

Not expecting people to be comfortable with showing their faces right off the bat, but certainly glad to be able to give the option. :) 


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