Hi, new here.

[ClementineFlowers]

Hi everyone. You can call me "Clementine" (not my name, I just love oranges and their pretty little flowers).

I have just recently found this forum. It has been 4 years since my assault. For 3 years following the assault, I was in a dissociative state most of the time, and was unable to talk about or begin to process what had happened. 

Just over a year ago, most of my maladaptive coping skills that I was using to avoid what had happened stopped working. I finally had to face the reality of what I was running away from. I was lucky enough to connect with a therapist at a sexual assault centre, and we were making good progress. I told the story of what I went through in full for the first time, and many of my PTSD symptoms became more bearable. 

Last month, in December, while my therapist was on holidays, things got worse again. The anniversary of the assault is in early December, and I've noticed that I start to get more flashbacks and other PTSD symptoms around this time. Unfortunately, in early January my therapist told me that she is leaving her job. I am on waitlists to see someone else, but where I live it is difficult to find affordable mental health support, even more so when it comes specifically to support around sexual assault.

Anyways, all this to say that I am struggling more than I have in quite some time, and looking for some peer support from people who understand. I hope this forum can help in that area.

Thank you for reading this. I hope everyone on here is finding peace and ease in some small way.

[Six_times_seven]

@ClementineFlowers I am sorry for what you have been through.  It is definitely difficult in most places to find quality, affordable, mental health care, I am sorry that you are struggling with this as well.   

You have, however, found a wonderfully supportive community here, with many people who can relate with your experiences and struggles.  

Take your time and look around, continue to interact when and where you feel comfortable.  If you have any questions please reach out, we're all just a click away.

Again welcome to AS... You are definitely not alone.

[Finchy]

Welcome to AS, Clementine. (I love the name!) I'm glad you found your way here, though I'm terribly sorry for what you've experienced. It was undeserved and not your fault.  And now for your therapist to be leaving is a real shame. I absolutely know what you mean about finding affordable mental healthcare...I'm sure most of us do. I wish you all the best. I hope you don't have to be on the waitlist for long. In the meantime, I hope that you are able to find solace here in our community. You'll meet a lot of very friendly and supportive people. You're not alone!! ❤️ 

-Finchy

[MeBeMary]

Hi ClementineFlowers.

Welcome to After Silence. I am sorry for what you have been thru and the struggles you are facing. You are not alone. You have found a community filled with supportive and kind members. Feel free to look around and interact when you are comfortable in doing so.

I'm sorry your T is moving on and you need to wait for another available one. Hopefully, you will find a new one soon. 

Wishing you the best on your healing journey.

Mary

[Dawn76]

@ClementineFlowers

Hi Clementine, welcome to After Silence. I'm so sorry for what has brought you here.  I hope you find the support you're wanting here. This is a wonderful group of people here who are very kind and compasionate.  

I'm sorry your needing a new therapist, I've been in that position in the last few months, it's hard to let them go and then put your trust into someone new.  I hope you get placed with a new therapist soon and they are a good fit for you.