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This is my first post. As much as I appreciate my friends being available, they don't truly understand. 

I was raped by a friend when I was 17. I apparently blocked it out completely until I saw him a couple years ago. It all came back to me. It hit me like it had just happened. In the end, I was diagnosed with PTSD. 

Since then I was in therapy. It went well and I was able to end it. I foolishly thought I wouldn't need it again. 

I had a bad trigger a week or so ago and it made me realize I have to start therapy again. 

I'm feeling like this is something that will never go away. And I'll have to periodically get treatment for the rest of my life. 

I'll never be rid of him.  

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Hi broken_but_trying,

Welcome to AfterSilence. I am very sorry you were hurt and betrayed by someone posing as a friend. It was unfair and undeserved. You have found a very supportive site with many understanding and kind members. You are not alone.

Healing can be tricky and long. Sometimes it feels like two steps forward and one step back, it is true. Tho we can't change the past and it is not something that will fully go away, I do believe we can all work at and find a way to have more good days than bad. We just have to keep fighting for it. 

I encourage you to look around the site and interact where you feel comfortable in doing so. You will find that many can relate with you, and you them. We can encourage and support each other, as we work towards steps forward. 

I wish you the best on this journey we call healing.

Mary

:supportu:  

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@broken_but_trying I am sorry you have been hurt by someone you thought to be a friend.  I am glad however, that you were able to recognize when you needed extra support and that you found us,  

There is no shame in needing extra support at various times in your healing journey. 

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15 hours ago, broken_but_trying said:

This is my first post. As much as I appreciate my friends being available, they don't truly understand. 

I was raped by a friend when I was 17. I apparently blocked it out completely until I saw him a couple years ago. It all came back to me. It hit me like it had just happened. In the end, I was diagnosed with PTSD. 

Since then I was in therapy. It went well and I was able to end it. I foolishly thought I wouldn't need it again. 

I had a bad trigger a week or so ago and it made me realize I have to start therapy again. 

I'm feeling like this is something that will never go away. And I'll have to periodically get treatment for the rest of my life. 

I'll never be rid of him.  

Hello and welcome to this platform, I am Wanna :flowers:

I totally feel you. I have been in and out from therapy myself for years, but with the support of my friends, family and this place, I am finally gaining back balance. I am certain you will too. The moment of just realizing and unleashing memories is the most critical time for many survivors. It's overwhelming to say at the least. However, one step at the time, you've already reached a big milestone by coming here. Reaching out for help is so brave, and I am happy you're in therapy. 

You are not alone, we are all here to relate, exchange support and find healthy coping techniques. :youcanheal: You share at the pace you feel comfortable to. 

Please let me know if you'd need some assistance with the site or some company. I am just one PM away. 

 

Take gentle care, W ☀️

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