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Hello my name is Buffy (not real name).  I am a 60 year old female.  I am a survivor of incest by my uncle when I was 7 and 8.  I thought I had everything under control until I  had a severe accident in May.  I was lying on the floor for over 15 hours.  I was in the  hospital for 29 days and now amin a nursing home.   There is a resident here that looks and acts like my uncle.  He's a bully and yells a lot.  This has brought back so many terrible memories.  I have had full blown panic attacks.   I don't know what to do.  My uncle would be so rough and it would hurt so much.   My mom would help him because she would say that I was bad and had to  be punished.  She would hit me with his belt.  Later in life I would cut and gained so much weight.  I would let males and females that I met at a bar or sleezy place. They and their friends would use me over and over.   I thought the flashbacks and pain was over but it has came back more stronger.  I just feel so fat and ugly!!!

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@tweetybird2 I am sorry for what you have been through, but I am glad you found your way here.  There are many people here who will relate to your experiences.  Past traumas definitely have away of popping up later in life, but fortunately healing is possible.  Reaching out here is a very good step forward on that healing journey.  

 

 

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Hi Buffy and welcome.

I am so sorry you have reasons to be here but be assured that you have found a supportive and understanding community. Our members are kind and understanding. You are not alone. 

It's hard to understand and process how those closest to us can be the ones who hurt us the most. You should have been loved and protected. I am sorry your mother failed you and both your mother and uncle hurt you. They were wrong and you deserved so much better. 

I'm also sorry for your recent accident, as well. I hope the injuries are beginning to mend...and you are able to end contact with this triggering man. It's never easy when you come in contact with someone who reminds you of your abuser. I'm sure you try to avoid him as much as possible, tho I know that close quarters in a facility might make that difficult. :( 

You are so deserving of support and validation. I am glad you had the courage to reach out. It's not always easy to do. 

Wishing you the best on this path we call healing. 

Mary

:supportu:

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Welcome @tweetybird2 to After Silence.  I’m sorry for what brought you here but I’m happy you are here reaching out for support.  Good job taking this step in your healing process.  You are not alone and what happened to you wasn’t your fault.  Take your time exploring and post when you are ready.  If you have any questions feel free to message me.   

 

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  • 2 weeks later...

Dear tweety

 

Welcome to After Silence.  I am sorry to hear of the trauma you have been through!

 

Being here has helped me so much.   Everyone is so caring and supportive here.  I am proud of you for reaching out.  I know that is hard to do.  I also know that you will find that needed compassion and support here within our community.  Know we are here for you and we will listen whenever you would like to lean on us.    

 

Take care and please do not hesitate to ask for any help if you ever need it.  

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