Introduction

[Dahlia29]

Hi Everyone,

I’m new to this group and this is the first time I’ve reached out to try and connect with other survivors of childhood sexual abuse. I’ve read countless stories on social media since the MeToo movement went viral, and I’ve felt inspired, even compelled, to share my own, but I always worried my story was too complicated or too hard to explain. Lately I’ve been struggling to come to terms w/ my past, however, and thought this might be a safe place to get support and feedback. The first step for me has been to actually acknowledge I am a survivor in the first place. I was 13 at the time and believed that I had agency and a level of control over what happened, which has caused me much guilt over the years. It has taken years for me to understand that I was not a consenting adult at the time.  My experience had a life-long impact on my self-esteem and on my development as a woman and a person. My own daughter is now away at college, and I feel I now have the time to work on myself and to come to terms with the things that continue to hold me back in my life.  I used to tell friends and therapists about the things that happened to me in a detached way, as if I were discussing the plot of a movie, but lately I feel physically connected to my memories in a new way and it is unpleasant. I want to learn how to heal from my past and, while I know I'm not going to find relief overnight, I’m hoping this group might be a first step.

Thank you for reading this and I will figure out which forum it might be appropriate to share my story in.

Sincerely,

Dahlia29

[Finchy]

Welcome to AS @Dahlia29! Nice to meet you. I'm glad you found your way here! Though I am so sorry for what brings you here...what you've experienced is wrong, unfair, and not your fault. I'm sorry you had to suffer at such a young age. You definitely don't have control over what happens at that age. I was around the same age when I was being abused, too. I also thought, "Well, I'm old enough to know what's wrong. I'm old enough to stop this from happening." But no, you're really not. Anyhoo, I am SO glad that you're seeking help now. You'll meet a lot of very friendly and supportive people here. You're not alone.

Best wishes to you. ❤️ 

-Finchy

[Dahlia29]

Thank so much, Finchy, for your warm welcome and for sharing a little bit about your own experience. I’m glad to be here but I feel it will take me a little time to figure out how to navigate this website and access private forums. 
 

All best, 

Dahlia29

 

[Six_times_seven]

@Dahlia29 I am sorry for what happened to you but, I’m glad you found us.  You’re right it can take some time to get used to navigating the forums. Take you’re time and explore at your own pace, we are all here to help with any questions you might have.  Don’t hesitate to reach out if you have any questions,

[MeBeMary]

Welcome to the community, Dehlia. 

I am so sorry you endured trauma when you were young. It was unfair and undeserved. It's very understandable you didn't have a grasp on what consent was. So many of us, too many, feel that guilt and feel responsible. It's difficult for adults to process much of the time, how are we supposed to that young. I'm proud of you for acknowledging that you were too young to give consent and that you are a survivor of trauma. It truly isn't an easy thing to realize. 

I am glad you found us and decided to reach out. It's a brave thing to do. I wish you many steps forward on this path we call healing.

Mary

[patriciag]

Welcome to AS

[missfrier]

Dear dahlia

 

Welcome to After Silence.  I am sorry to hear of the trauma you have been through!

 

Being here has helped me so much.   Everyone is so caring and supportive here.  I am proud of you for reaching out.  I know that is hard to do.  I also know that you will find that needed compassion and support here within our community.  Know we are here for you and we will listen whenever you would like to lean on us.    

 

Take care and please do not hesitate to ask for any help if you ever need it.  

[Finchy]

8 hours ago, Dahlia29 said:

Thank so much, Finchy, for your warm welcome and for sharing a little bit about your own experience. I’m glad to be here but I feel it will take me a little time to figure out how to navigate this website and access private forums. 
 

All best, 

Dahlia29

 

You're welcome, Dahlia. ❤️ It can take some time to explore and figure out things in a new place like AS, but you'll get the hang of it.  

[8888]

Welcome @Dahlia29 to After Silence.  I’m sorry for what brought you here but I’m happy you are here reaching out for support.  Good job taking this step in your healing process.  You are not alone and what happened to you wasn’t your fault.  Take your time exploring and post when you are ready.  If you have any questions feel free to message me.   

 

[Dahlia29]

Thank you, @8888. I appreciate the response and I’m finally starting to figure out the site. It means a lot to have  this new kind of support. I posted my “story” finally and it was therapeutic to hear from others that I have a right to tell it and to seek help. I felt for so long that I had a secret that made me different than other people and it’s been amazing to know that in reality I’m not alone, and to get suggestions for self compassion. I feel so much compassion for others on this site! 

[8888]

22 hours ago, Dahlia29 said:

Thank you, @8888. I appreciate the response and I’m finally starting to figure out the site. It means a lot to have  this new kind of support. I posted my “story” finally and it was therapeutic to hear from others that I have a right to tell it and to seek help. I felt for so long that I had a secret that made me different than other people and it’s been amazing to know that in I’m not alone, and to get suggestions for self . I feel so much for others on this site! 

Awesome!  I'm so happy you found us.