DayLily Introduction

[AReasonToFight]

After years of suppressing, blaming myself, and allowing it to manifest, My Pandora's Box finally broke open. I have CPTSD and had a trigger a week ago and am still working my way out of it. I normally suffer for minutes to hours, but several days has me terrified. I decided to try to find a Safe Place to tell my stories, and try to release all that has ahold of me. I know this doesn't replace therapy, but the darkness and isolation of my trauma's are causing disconnections that I fear will take hold of me completely if I don't find my voice. I have started a blog here and will continue to tell my story one entry at a time. I appreciate you being here and allowing me to have a safe place to tell my story. 

~DayLily

Edited April 30 by AReasonToFight

[MeBeMary]

Hi there DayLily, and welcome.

I am very sorry for all you've been thru and the struggles you still face. Please know you are not alone. This community is filled with many supportive and understanding members. We are here for you, as you look to find your path in healing.

Many of us, myself included, have tried to deny the hurt we've experienced. Sadly, it is common. Deciding it's time to face the trauma is a very brave thing to do. It's not easy, by any means, but it's a healthy and strong thing to do. I'm glad you found this strength. Little by little, it can grow.

Feel free to look about the site and interact where it feels right. I wish you well on this journey. 

Mary

 

 

[mini.finch]

Welcome to AS, @AReasonToFight (DayLily). I'm glad you found your way here. ❤️ I'm so sorry for your reasons that you are here, though...what you've gone through was undeserved and not your fault. I'm sorry you've been struggling lately with triggers and blaming yourself, but it's good that you've come to the realization that you have CPTSD and need to find your voice. It helps so much just realizing these things. You'll meet a lot of very friendly and supportive people in this community. You're not alone.  

Best wishes to you. Sending you lots of support and strength.

-Finch

[AReasonToFight]

@MeBeMary Thank you for your kind words and reaching out to me. I am finally able to accept I need a healthy support system. I don't want to be alone anymore. Not in the sense of I feel I'm the only one, but alone in the sense of carrying this darkness and not being able to see past it. I've spent my entire life trying to fix me, maybe there's another way. 

 

~DayLily

[AReasonToFight]

@mini.finch I appreciate the warm welcome. I am not use to putting myself out there like this but I've struggled too long on my own battling the darkness. Despite it feeling safe and all I've known, it's not healthy. I don't think I've ever fully recognized the CPTSD up until my latest episode. It has terrified me to a point I have never gotten to. I hope I can meet some people and hopefully start to come to the light.  

~DayLily

[SociallyAwkward]

The things that happen to us as children can make a lasting impression.

i read some of your blog. Moving around a lot, not being able to make friends, your brothers...... you’ve been through a lot.

just wanted to welcome you and let you know I’m sitting with you. My “experiences” happened when I was 4. Not sure if I wanna call it CPTSD. Frankly there’s a lot more from my childhood that angers me just as much if not more. 

Edited May 4 by ActivistAlly
deleted foul language on public intro post

[AReasonToFight]

@SociallyAwkward Thank you for that. I feel a child's foundation is the most important thing they can have growing up.. As you have started to read and if you choose to continue....mine is anything but that. I'm sorry about the pain you experienced , especially so young. That hurts me not just as a someone who is broken and it being young...but as a mother. Thank you for willing to be here.

~DayLily

[8888]

Welcome @AReasonToFight to After Silence.  I’m sorry for what brought you here but I’m happy you are here reaching out for support.  Good job taking this step in your healing process.  You are not alone and what happened to you wasn’t your fault.  Take your time exploring and post when you are ready.  If you have any questions feel free to message me. 

[AReasonToFight]

@8888 I appreciate the warm welcome. I tend to be an observer, it's safer to be that way. But am trying to communicate and respond where I can. I'm a bit awkward when it comes to socializing. Thank you for seeing me. 

~DayLily

[WannaMoveOn]

On 5/1/2022 at 12:07 AM, AReasonToFight said:

After years of suppressing, blaming myself, and allowing it to manifest, My Pandora's Box finally broke open. I have CPTSD and had a trigger a week ago and am still working my way out of it. I normally suffer for minutes to hours, but several days has me terrified. I decided to try to find a Safe Place to tell my stories, and try to release all that has ahold of me. I know this doesn't replace therapy, but the darkness and isolation of my trauma's are causing disconnections that I fear will take hold of me completely if I don't find my voice. I have started a blog here and will continue to tell my story one entry at a time. I appreciate you being here and allowing me to have a safe place to tell my story. 

~DayLily

Hello and welcome to After Silence! I am Wanna by the way

Having a community, a safe place to come whenever you need, is in my experience an invaluable thing. I think it's an important piece of a support system, and am so happy you decided to join here. You are not alone! Please take your time here, get to know the place and settle at your own pace. You share in the amount you feel comfortable with. 

I hope this place will make your life a bit easier, and lift some of that burden you've been carrying around by yourself for too long.

Wishing you the very best, 

- Wanna ☀️

[AReasonToFight]

@WannaMoveOn Thanks Wanna I appreciate the kinds word. I definitely am not use to looking for a support system, well not in a healthy way. Thanks for taking to time to reach out to me. 

~DayLily 

[S_Sundance]

Hello DayLily, I'm glad you found us and welcome aboard. We are here to help each other. I'm eager to heal from your story and hopefully you'll heal from mine. I'm sorry what you've been through but your story is valuable to others who have experienced simulator situations. So, tighten your seatbelt and get ready for the ride of your life.

 

[AReasonToFight]

@S_Sundance I definitely appreciate you for that. And I do look forward to learning and opening up more, especially if my stories do help other's. I'm here if you need to reach out as well. 

~DayLily 

[S_Sundance]

16 hours ago, AReasonToFight said:

@S_Sundance I definitely appreciate you for that. And I do look forward to learning and opening up more, especially if my stories do help other's. I'm here if you need to reach out as well. 

~DayLily 

Thanks much!

[AReasonToFight]

@S_Sundance😊

[missfrier]

Dayllilly

 

Welcome to After Silence.  I am sorry to hear of the trauma you have been through!

 

Being here has helped me so much.   Everyone is so caring and supportive here.  I am proud of you for reaching out.  I know that is hard to do.  I also know that you will find that needed compassion and support here within our community.  Know we are here for you and we will listen whenever you would like to lean on us.    

 

Take care and please do not hesitate to ask for any help if you ever need it.  

[AReasonToFight]

@missfrier Thank you for the warm welcome, it is most appreciated. I am glad I found this place as well, even if it is to get my story out. I am not good at making or keeping friends, I'm quite awkward, but am trying to engage as I can. Thank you for giving me a support system, it will take some getting use to.

~DayLily