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Hi, I am working on making my mantra change, I want to easily think of myself as a survivor. 141 days ago my world changed. And I called myself a victim until a few weeks ago. I am working the steps, which feels like it’s almost on the victim to take on not only healing physically but then also putting on us the weight of all the mental work we have to do, almost like an AA, NA, whichever, program. Work the steps. (This was the trigger warning, apologies if this was inappropriate).

I finally made the call to get an advocate. I cried so hard after that call, but it was the first good cry in so long. I have had a therapist but I may need to switch. She never even mentioned the idea of getting an advocate, or filing charges for the sexual assault. And she’s known since about two weeks after it happened. 
 

i made the decision to report it, and yeah, that was hard and it sucks.

But I am still here, I’m still fighting, I may be a lot weaker today than I was 142 days ago, but I know I can find the strength to get back what I had, and more.

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Hello Disassociated

Welcome to AfterSilence. I am so sorry for what happened to you 141 days ago. It was wrong and unfair. You have found a very supportive community tho, with so many understanding and kind members. You are right, there is a lot of steps and a lot of work that goes into navigating this healing path.  You are not alone.

I am glad you have an advocate and highly respect that you filed charges. It is one of the most difficult things any survivor can do, as the legal system can be a difficult process to go thru. I am always impressed with those who find it inside of themselves to make this step. More will not, than will. So great respect goes out to you. 

I am glad you decided to reach out. Another step that will help point you in the right direction on this crazy, winding road we call healing.

Mary

:youcanheal:

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2 hours ago, Disassociated said:

Hi, I am working on making my mantra change, I want to easily think of myself as a survivor. 141 days ago my world changed. And I called myself a victim until a few weeks ago. I am working the steps, which feels like it’s almost on the victim to take on not only healing physically but then also putting on us the weight of all the mental work we have to do, almost like an AA, NA, whichever, program. Work the steps. (This was the trigger warning, apologies if this was inappropriate).

I finally made the call to get an advocate. I cried so hard after that call, but it was the first good cry in so long. I have had a therapist but I may need to switch. She never even mentioned the idea of getting an advocate, or filing charges for the sexual assault. And she’s known since about two weeks after it happened. 
 

i made the decision to report it, and yeah, that was hard and it sucks.

But I am still here, I’m still fighting, I may be a lot weaker today than I was 142 days ago, but I know I can find the strength to get back what I had, and more

Dear disassociated

Welcome to After Silence.  I am sorry to hear of the trauma you have been through!

 

Being here has helped me so much.   Everyone is so caring and supportive here.  I am proud of you for reaching out.  I know that is hard to do.  I also know that you will find that needed compassion and support here within our community.  Know we are here for you and we will listen whenever you would like to lean on us.    

 

Take care and please do not hesitate to ask for any help if you ever need it.  

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On 4/14/2022 at 5:20 AM, Disassociated said:

Hi, I am working on making my mantra change, I want to easily think of myself as a survivor. 141 days ago my world changed. And I called myself a victim until a few weeks ago. I am working the steps, which feels like it’s almost on the victim to take on not only healing physically but then also putting on us the weight of all the mental work we have to do, almost like an AA, NA, whichever, program. Work the steps. (This was the trigger warning, apologies if this was inappropriate).

I finally made the call to get an advocate. I cried so hard after that call, but it was the first good cry in so long. I have had a therapist but I may need to switch. She never even mentioned the idea of getting an advocate, or filing charges for the sexual assault. And she’s known since about two weeks after it happened. 
 

i made the decision to report it, and yeah, that was hard and it sucks.

But I am still here, I’m still fighting, I may be a lot weaker today than I was 142 days ago, but I know I can find the strength to get back what I had, and more.

Hello and welcome on board! I am Wanna :flowers:

Getting a sense of a community can help your healing a lot. I am so happy you signed in here to let us join in on your journey. This is a safe place for you to express your thoughts, take part in other's stories and exchange advice. You share in the amount you feel comfortable with. No expectations, no pressure. 

May I say, I find you brave. I have reported a case to the police myself. I admire you'd stand your ground and report this. At the very least, it will give you a chance of closure. 

Yes, it is indeed unfair. Somebody toxic painting our lives dark and leave us to clean up their mess. There is a silver lining though. Healing gives you a chance to come out even stronger and more self aware, and I promise there will be better days. 

Make sure to let me or any staff of choice know, if you'd need anything at all. We believe you. :notalone:

Sending you my best, 

W ☀️

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Welcome @Disassociated to After Silence.  I’m sorry for what brought you here but I’m happy you are here reaching out for support.  Good job taking this step in your healing process.  You are not alone and what happened to you wasn’t your fault.  It sounds like you are making a lot of progress in your healing journey.  Great job!  Be sure to pat yourself on the back.  Take your time exploring here and post when you are ready.  If you have any questions feel free to message me. 

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