Trying to get better after years of silence

[Phoenix23]

Hello everyone. I have started therapy one year ago and I'm working on my past trauma. I'm to see things that I have not realise before. Some patterns or reasons for the behaviors that I have which are linked with the abuse I had experienced. I wanted to join a forum because I feel like a fraud. Throughout the years, I convinced myself what happened to me was nothing and today I talked about it without emotion. I looked down upon what happened because people experienced harder things than I had. Their experiences were more brutal and violent than mine. But for my therapy and well-being, I need to finally accept the survivor that I am. I hope this group will help me. Please be kind

[MeBeMary]

Phoenix,

You will be treated kind! We accept you and all you've been thru! All that is required to be here is that someone hurt you, you have struggles, and you want and need support. We are here for you. Remove any doubt from your mind. 

It takes a great deal of courage to reach out to others, so kudos for you for finding that withing yourself. Know it is common for doubts and uneasiness to admit you want support and wonder if you are worthy of it. You are. We don't compare here. There are many different trauma experiences here, but we all hurt and struggle the same. It is this that bonds us all. 

I'm sorry you've been hurt, but this community is a very supportive place, with many understanding and kind members. It is a safe and healing place to be, and we do welcome you. 

Take your time and look around this site. Interact when you are ready and know that we won't turn you away. You deserve the kindness that you have neglected to give yourself. Hopefully you will find that kindness to give yourself. Perhaps here, you will be able to? 

I wish you the best in this journey we call healing.

Mary

[Six_times_seven]

@Phoenix23 You will find lots of kindness and understanding here.  There are many here that share similar experiences to your own. 

I understand what it is like to feel like you don’t have the right to feel traumatized because others have had worse experiences.  Slowly over the years I have begun to put together the pieces of my past and begin to understand how every little trauma has added up to the constellation of poor coping habits I have developed.  Timing and duration of trauma also have an impact.  

[Phoenix23]

@MeBeMary and @Six_times_seven thank you for the kind and support words. I hope to find what I've been looking for here.

I have a hard time accepting support from others and these issues

[8888]

Welcome @Phoenix23 to After Silence.  I’m sorry for what brought you here but I’m happy you are here reaching out for support.  Good job taking this step in your healing process.  You are not alone and what happened to you wasn’t your fault.  You are certainly NOT a fraud!  I believe you.  It doesn't matter if what happened to you was different than what happened to others, it is still abuse.   My abuser wasn't violent but I am still deeply traumatized.  You experiences are valid!  Take your time exploring here and post when you are ready.  If you have any questions feel free to message me. 

[Phoenix23]

2 hours ago, 8888 said:

Welcome @Phoenix23 to After Silence.  I’m sorry for what brought you here but I’m happy you are here reaching out for support.  Good job taking this step in your healing process.  You are not alone and what happened to you wasn’t your fault.  You are certainly NOT a fraud!  I believe you.  It doesn't matter if what happened to you was different than what happened to others, it is still abuse.   My abuser wasn't violent but I am still deeply traumatized.  You experiences are valid!  Take your time exploring here and post when you are ready.  If you have any questions feel free to message me. 

Hello @8888 thank you for your support. My friend thought it was a bad idea because I had a panic attack this week but this is just me realising what has happened. Your advices and stories help me realise I am not alone and messages like yours are helpful.

I am also here if you need to talk. 

Sending good vibes and love

Wish us all the best in that healing process

[8888]

On 4/13/2022 at 12:17 PM, Phoenix23 said:

Hello @8888 thank you for your support. My friend thought it was a bad idea because I had a panic attack this week but this is just me realising what has happened. Your advices and stories help me realise I am not alone and messages like yours are helpful.

I am also here if you need to talk. 

Sending good vibes and love

Wish us all the best in that healing process

Happy to help.  Thank you!