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Guest swesterly

New Member, Here.

13 posts in this topic

Hello,

I joined this forum after I finally told the first person about the sexual abuse in my past. He had known for a while, but a few days ago, I went into a little deeper detail. Now, he hasn't heard the worst of it, but atleast he has a better understanding of me and why I do the things I do.

Anyway, I think I've gotten over the initial "He's going to leave me, now," phase because he's very supportive and understanding. He has to be the most trustworthy and loving person I've ever met. We are engaged. Confiding in him, these secrets of my past, was something I felt needed to happen before we could ever get married. I felt like I was deceiving him in some way, him not knowing certain things about me that could possibly have a negative effect on the relationship. Not to mention, if I couldn't trust him enough to tell him everything about me, I wouldn't feel ready to marry him.

I am 21, my name is Shane (and yet, I'm a woman.. hehe I get a lot of confusion over my name). I breed & train hunting & search/rescue dogs for a living. I enjoy the outdoors; frequently camping, hunting, fishing, and trail riding (dirt bike or horseback). I am very independent, stubborn, and sometimes brutally honest. My fiance is 32, his name is David. Our wedding date is set for July 29, 2004.

I was sexually / physically abused during the years between third grade and sixth grade. I was never able to break the silence of the abuse until just recently, with my fiance. My attackers are probably still attacking other girls, and for that I'm very angry.. but I don't feel any guilt. I know I was just a kid, and kids don't always know what to do.. especially in a situation as harrowing as abuse.

I hope to find some friends to help me through this transition from 'little girl, hiding in the shadows;' to 'open, honest, FREE adult!' It's one of those paths you walk alone, hopefully with encouraging and loving support from your friends and family! I feel kind of like the last kid running the race.. everyone else has passed the finish line. I'm afraid they'll laugh at me and make fun of me for being so slow, but I pray and hope they'll turn around and cheer me on through the finish line!

I know I'm a bit long-winded, but I have never had anybody to talk about any of this with... my fiance is a new-found confidant, supporter, comforter.. and I hope you all will be that for me too. I will certainly try to be that for any of you!

Shaney

P.S. This message board is one of the most eye-pleasing message boards I've ever seen. The colors and layout work so perfectly together, and really give me a feeling of peace, tranquility and warmness. Thanks for your hard work, webmaster!

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Shane,

Welcome!!! I'm so glad you are here, but I am not glad for the reasons. I am sorry for what has happened. I hope you will find this place to be of great comfort while you are on your journey to heal. I know I find it wonderful!!! Keep posting so we can know a little more about you.

Congratulations to you and David! He sounds terriffic. Honesty is the best policy when building your life with someone. You both are very lucky to have each other. :hug:

thoughts and prayers....

Jenn :)

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(((Shane)))

Hello and welcome to After Silence. I'm sorry for the reasons that brought you here, however, I am glad you have stumbled across this place.

Seems like your fiance is a very wonderful man. You are very lucky to have someone as wonderful and supportive, you deserve it!

Make yourself comfortable around here. I look forward to getting to know you.

Take gentle care.

Lindy

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Hi Shane. Welcome to the group. I hope you will find (as I have) that you no longer need to walk this path alone. We are all here to support each other through the good times and the bad. Your fiancee sounds great! I'm sure he will be a great support to you.

Take good care.

~Kelly

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HI Shane!

I joined the board recently too and I think you will find yourself at home very easily here. You are amongst friends now. I applaud your bravery and every other survivor who has made it to forums like this. I hope you find the healing you are seeking here.

queenie :greet:

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((Shane))

I've always loved that name. -smiles-

I'm sorry that you have a reason to be here with us, but I'm glad to know that you have found this place. I think it's one of the most supportive on the 'net. I'm so sorry that you had to go through the pain that you did.

((safe hugs))

Make yourself at home here. Hope you enjoy your stay.

<3

Alex

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(((Shaney)))Welcome to After Silence...I'm sorry you have a reason to be here but I'm glad you found your way here. I look forward to getting to know you.

Take precious care of yourself.

Tracy

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Hi Shane,

welcome to the boards. i am new also and have found this a very supportive and helpful place. i'm sorry for everything that has happened to you, but i'm very happy that you have someone in your life who supports you. it's definately good that you were able to tell him about your past. i know how difficult that can be. it took me a very long time to get up the nerve to talk to my wife about my abuse, but i think we have a better relationship now b/c of my honesty. everyone here is so awesome, i'm sure you'll feel right at home. hope to see you around alot.

Ray

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(((Shane))) Welcome to After Silence. I am glad you have found us tho sorry for the pain that has brought you here. This is an incredibly supportive place to be and know that you do not walk alone. I look forward in getting to know you better. Be gentle with yourself as you heal.

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Welcome ((Shane))

I'm so sorry for what happened to you. It's so wonderful that you have such a supportive fiance. :up:

I hope you find this site as loving and helpful as I have.

Love, :kitty:

Kelsie

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I had to post this in reply to all of the supportive responses I received to welcome me to these forums. I have been having such a difficult time and just receiving such a warm and friendly welcome has actually helped me relax for a moment. I am so good at covering up what is going on inside my head, that sometimes I find myself covering it up from myself... with a lot of other junk. It sometimes feels like my mind is a messy bedroom, in which you cannot see the floor for the layers and piles of junk everywhere! Once in a while, somebody comes along and picks a path through to me and that's what you all have done... simply by making me feel at home in your little corner of the WWW. I thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Shane

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smilies-39337.png

You'll find plenty of help and comfort here.

Good luck to you, you're lucky to have a good fiance' and help you on the road to happiness for you and the two of you.

Huggles,Carole

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