Hi, Another Newbie Here :)

[Lal]

First of all, thank you so much for having something like this available. I never knew this sort of thing existed. Some things happened well over a decade ago and I just never acknowledged or wanted to think about it, and I didn't think it "counted" anyway! And then somebody said something completely unrelated the other day and it was like it was brand new and terrible again so I thought, hey, probably best to do something about this haha. Thanks for allowing me to be here, I really look forward to meeting you all and learning more about how to move forward.

Edited December 3, 2021 by Lal

[Finchy]

Welcome to AS, @Lal! I'm glad you found your way here. It's definitely an awesome thing to find out that a place like this exists, right? You're not alone anymore. I'm sorry for what happened to you, though, that led you to come here. Whatever it was, it counted, especially since it still affects you today. You didn't deserve it, nor was it your fault. 

I look forward to seeing you around the forums! Take your time exploring, and feel free to ask questions if you have any. Take care!

-Finch

[MeBeMary]

Hi Lal and welcome!

I am sorry for the trauma you endured decades ago and search us out to find support. I came here exactly like you several years ago...trauma decades old and pretty much in denial that it was what it was. It's not uncommon tho, as many survivors tend to explain it away...tho struggles still hung around. Realizing it and acknowledging it is such a huge step for anyone...so in a sad, but empowering way...congrats on that. 

This community is filled with understanding and kind members, and you will be accepted unconditionally. I am glad you are here.

Feel free to look around and jump in when and where it feels right to you. This is your journey at your pace, no pressure. Wishing you all the best as you begin that journey.

Mary

  

[Lal]

Thank you both so much for your kindness and understanding. It's a big sigh of relief to just be able to say a thing was real in a way that is not so scary, and to not-- to not be, i don't know, feel like you're wrong or bad. Like you'll bother other people or make them uncomfortable or look at you like you're a sad dog forever. And it means a lot to me, more than I can say, what you've both said. 

Edited December 3, 2021 by Lal

[Jason92]

4 hours ago, Lal said:

First of all, thank you so much for having something like this available. I never knew this sort of thing existed. Some things happened well over a decade ago and I just never acknowledged or wanted to think about it, and I didn't think it "counted" anyway! 

 

Wow, I was/am exactly the same. I would always tell myself and therapists I'd been to that it was no big deal and my fam was surprised when I said I wanna deal with it.

 Even now I have a hard time admitting that it was really that bad and I feel like my feelings aren't justified....  

 

Edited December 3, 2021 by Jason92

[Lal]

7 minutes ago, Jason92 said:

 

Wow, I was/am exactly the same. I would always tell myself and therapists I'd been to that it was no big deal and my fam was surprised when I said I wanna deal with.

 Even now I have a hard time admitting that it was really that bad and I feel like my feelings aren't justified....  

 

Oh man, exactly. I was in therapy for other things and any time they'd ask anything that could possibly lead to disclosure I'd just freeze up and say no as fast as i possibly could. It's not like I was dragged into an alleyway at gunpoint, so who would believe me anyway, who would care? But whatever your feelings are I'm telling you, right now, point blank, they are real and they are justified and I'm sorry that they are and you had to ever go through what you did to have them in the first place.

[8888]

Welcome @Lal to After Silence.  I’m sorry for what brought you here but I’m happy you are here reaching out for support.  Good job taking this step in your healing process.  You are not alone and what happened to you wasn’t your fault.  Take your time exploring and post when you are ready.  If you have any questions feel free to message me.