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Hi 👋, I’m new. This is a huge step for me. I’ve muddled through most of my life never understanding, minimizing & just being silent about my dysfunctional childhood & certainly never saying anything out loud about all the sexual assaults . But, I can’t hold it in anymore . It reared its ugly head & I became desperate for help dealing. I’m wait listed for therapist . But I’ve decided I can’t sit around waiting. I need to take action if I want to get healing process going. Books I’ve read talked about support groups. So , I wanted to give it a try. 

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Hello Theimpossibledream.

Welcome to AfterSilence. I am very sorry for all you've been thru. What happened to you was unfair and undeserved, but do know that you have found a supportive community. Our members are understanding and kind. 

I think you have done what so many of us do. Processing is so difficult and we just want to forget. Suppressing and repressing memories are common, but the struggles we endure can be directly linked to the abuse. Acknowledging it and facing it is difficult, but it is also the key to beginning the healing journey. So mad props to you for doing so!

Take your time and look around the site. Jump in where you are comfortable and know you are not alone. Wishing you many steps forward as you begin this journey of healing. 

Mary

:youcanheal:

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Hello and welcome to AS, @Theimpossibledream! I'm glad you found your way here. AS is a great place to start your healing journey. I'm terribly sorry for what you've experienced...you didn't deserve any of it. You're not alone though. You'll find people here that can relate, and we're all super supportive and kind. ❤️ I'm glad you're taking steps to heal, including getting on a wait list for therapy. I wish you all the very best. Sending you lots of support!

-Finch

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Hi, I've been battling with sa issues for a long time. A rape and a gang rape. I don't know why but even with numerous years of therapy I still don't feel whole.  I think what I'm missing is knowing I'm not alone, other people have these issues.

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Dear impossibledream

 

I am sorry for all that you have been through.   You have been so brave in reaching out to us, please know that this is never easy!   We are all here for you and we want to support you.  You're not alone in your healing journey and are always welcome to lean on us for extra support.  You can post as much or as little as you like.  We are here to support you in the way you need.  I have found this community to be very helpful.  Everyone is so understanding and non-judgmental and I am hoping you feel the same way once you've gotten to know us a little.   

 

All my best,

missfrier

 

 

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1 hour ago, Mendingrose said:

Hi, I've been battling with sa issues for a long time. A rape and a gang rape. I don't know why but even with numerous years of therapy I still don't feel whole.  I think what I'm missing is knowing I'm not alone, other people have these issues.

Welcome to AS, @Mendingrose. I'm so sorry for what you've experienced. You didn't deserve any of it. It was all so very wrong. :( I'm sorry that even with years of therapy that you're still struggling. But having a support group like AS might help. You're not alone anymore. You'll meet a lot of very friendly and supportive people here. ❤️ Wishing you all the very best on this healing journey! Sending you lots of support.

-Finch

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Hi, I've been battling with sa issues for a long time. A rape and a gang rape. I don't know why but even with numerous years of therapy I still don't feel whole.  I think what I'm missing is knowing I'm not alone, other people have these issues.

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On 11/7/2021 at 9:56 AM, Mendingrose said:

Hi, I've been battling with sa issues for a long time. A rape and a gang rape. I don't know why but even with numerous years of therapy I still don't feel whole.  I think what I'm missing is knowing I'm not alone, other people have these issues.

@Mendingrose,

I so understand when you say, "what is missing is know you arent alone". 

I have been thru therapy on and off for some yrs and now have been in a recovery support group for 5 yrs. But only now have I been able to connect with actual survivors. For me, nobody else gets it. I tried to discuss it with a therapist or even some in my support grouo, it isnt the same as being able to talk about the CSA. That is why I really like this forum.

-Mimi

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Thank you for your support.  I too tried groups, therapy, specialized therapy, emdr , and none of it helped the pain. I love being on here and telling my story, I've never told the whole story.  Its scary, but lets out some relief.

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Welcome @Theimpossibledream to After Silence.  I’m sorry for what brought you here but I’m happy you are here reaching out for support.  Good job taking this step in your healing process.  You are not alone and what happened to you wasn’t your fault.  I would recommend journaling.  It can be very therapeutic  and then when you do finally get to see a therapist you can share some of it with them if you feel comfortable.  You can always share here too if you want to.  Take your time exploring here and post when you are ready.  If you have any questions feel free to message me. 

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Hello and welcome. I am new here as well and I too have stayed silent all my life. My husband knows I was assaulted on multiple occasions but he doesn’t know the details because who wants to put that picture in their husbands mind ya know? 
 

anyways. It took me a while to get a good therapist and it was a rough wait time, but I’m glad I waited it out and got to speak to someone who I could pour my heart out to. Someone who couldn’t run and tell someone else and someone who was on my side. 
 

I hope you find these things in your therapist as well and again welcome. 

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