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Hi, I've recently learned that coercive behaviour from a boyfriend is not okay and I had been struggling to figure out what felt wrong.

I'm not sure I belong here as that's the worst thing that's happened to me but I felt like reading people's experiences and how they cope really helps so I joined after consideration.

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Welcome to After Silence, @song_of_sky! I'm glad you found your way here. I'm sorry for what you went through, though. It was undeserved. Being coerced into doing anything you don't want to do is wrong. I'm glad you recently learned that, and will now work on healing. ❤️ You're not alone. And there's no comparing here of what's "worse" or not...so no worries. You belong. You will find a lot of kind and supportive people here. I wish you all the best!


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Hi song_of_sky,

Welcome to AfterSilence. I am very sorry you have reason to be here, but do know you are accepted and validated. Coercive behavior in a relation that feels wrong...usually is. If you are still with him...know you deserve better. Believe that.

Please do look around the site and interact where you feel comfortable in doing so. As mini.finch mentioned, we try not to compare. We see a line and if it is crossed, it's crossed. If someone is struggling, they are struggling. There is an invisible thread that link us all and there is no gain by comparing. Nobody deserves abusive treatment. 

I wish you the best as you begin to face the truth about what you've been thru and the pain your bf has caused. You are not alone. I wish you well as you walk down this path of healing.




BTW...love your profile pic. What a cutie. :throb: 

Edited by MeBeMary
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Welcome @song_of_sky to After Silence.  I’m sorry for what brought you here but I’m happy you are here reaching out for support.  Good job taking this step in your healing process.  You are not alone and what happened to you wasn’t your fault.  Even if what happened to you wasn't as bad in your eyes you are still welcome here.  It is still traumatizing regardless.  My assault was more "minor" and wasn't violent but this place has been helpful for me regardless.  I hope you will have the same experience here.  Take your time exploring and post when you are ready.  If you have any questions feel free to message me. 

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Dear song of sky 


I am sorry for all that you have been through.   You have been so brave in reaching out to us, please know that this is never easy!   We are all here for you and we want to support you.  You're not alone in your healing journey and are always welcome to lean on us for extra support.  You can post as much or as little as you like.  We are here to support you in the way you need.  I have found this community to be very helpful.  Everyone is so understanding and non-judgmental and I am hoping you feel the same way once you've gotten to know us a little.   


All my best,




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  • 3 weeks later...

Hello there

no need to compare as others have said. It’s fantastic that you are seeing the red flags now instead of later. I hope you find a way to move on from him and find someone who truly treats you as he should. 
Thanks for joining us and I’m glad you are finding support and healing through others’ posts. 

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