Anniversary

[Pie1028]

Hi so I have been a member a while but never really introduced. I guess I should start with my story. I was raped by an ex, years ago. I never went to the police.

I have suffered with mental health issues a lot since. I have dealt with a lot of my issues and learned to live healthily with it now. And I am pretty open minded person. I talk to my husband when I need to or friends. It’s coming to the anniversary again this year and I guess sometimes, I feel sad, down, I have discussed with my husband and I also am aware that it’s completely normal but sometimes it’s hard not to forget that it’s not a set back feeling down will happen over the years and there will be other times I feel happy and that’s all part of the journey. I guess really I wanted to hear that,  other people feel scared/sad that you have been coping well and managing healthy for a while and feel disjointed when you do have a set back. Almost like your letting yourself down. I don’t know if that makes any sense at all.

[Survivor01]

@Pie1028, welcome to AS, glad you felt able to post at last and I hope you find this place supportive

So sorry about what brings you here though. Yes, I totally relate to the ups and downs and I think it's really normal. I have not found my healing to be especially linear! There is usually a good reason for the 'downs' I find, like an anniversary or else I'm just ready to contact the trauma at a deeper level.

Take care,

Reyzl

[MeBeMary]

6 hours ago, Pie1028 said:

Hi so I have been a member a while but never really introduced. I guess I should start with my story. I was raped by an ex, years ago. I never went to the police.

I have suffered with mental health issues a lot since. I have dealt with a lot of my issues and learned to live healthily with it now. And I am pretty open minded person. I talk to my husband when I need to or friends. It’s coming to the anniversary again this year and I guess sometimes, I feel sad, down, I have discussed with my husband and I also am aware that it’s completely normal but sometimes it’s hard not to forget that it’s not a set back feeling down will happen over the years and there will be other times I feel happy and that’s all part of the journey. I guess really I wanted to hear that,  other people feel scared/sad that you have been coping well and managing healthy for a while and feel disjointed when you do have a set back. Almost like your letting yourself down. I don’t know if that makes any sense at all.

Hello and welcome, Pie. 

I am sorry you have reason to be here, but glad you finally feel ready to introduce yourself. There is never a set time to interact, so even if it's been awhile since you have joined, I'm glad you remembered you can use this community as a support resource. We are here for you and if you have looked around already, you know that the members here are understanding and kind. 

What happened to you was very wrong and unfair. Your ex hurt you and betrayed you and it was so undeserved. Please know that many of us are like you and have not gone to the police. It is sad, but common, that it isn't so easy to speak out. Those who hurt deserve to be accountable, but it's way too understandable that it can cause even more struggles and pain for us survivors. So know you are not alone there.

Healing is a journey like no other. There are steps forward, yet some steps back. Sometimes it seems like progress is a fantasy, but I think of it as a way to find more good days, than bad. Reaching out for support on those bad days and keep fighting for more steps forward. It's not always easy, but I think it's possible. 

Feel free to continue to look around and jump in where you feel you can, when you are comfortable too. I do wish you many steps forward (and fewer backwards) on this journey we call healing.

Mary

[missfrier]

Dear pie

 

I am sorry for all that you have been through.   You have been so brave in reaching out to us, please know that this is never easy!   We are all here for you and we want to support you.  You're not alone in your healing journey and are always welcome to lean on us for extra support.  You can post as much or as little as you like.  We are here to support you in the way you need.  I have found this community to be very helpful.  Everyone is so understanding and non-judgmental and I am hoping you feel the same way once you've gotten to know us a little.   

 

All my best,

missfrier

 

 

[Finchy]

I'm short on words tonight, but I want to say welcome officially to AS! I'm glad you found your way here and felt comfortable enough to post now.  I am, however, so sorry for what you've experienced. You didn't deserve it at all. Sending you lots of support and comfort...you're not alone.

-Finch

[8888]

Welcome @Pie1028 to After Silence.  I’m sorry for what brought you here but I’m happy you are here reaching out for support.  Good job taking this step in your healing process.  You are not alone and what happened to you wasn’t your fault.  Take your time exploring and post when you are ready.  If you have any questions feel free to message me. 

[Pie1028]

Thanks everyone for getting back to me. I really appreciate it. I think my main struggle is that the anniversary is coming up soon. Some years go by and I cope with the anniversary fine, others are more of a struggle and I guess that’s what brings me here this time. It’s difficult to get out of that pit of down, when you know you need to try and get out a slump. But I have looked on this and the fact other people have felt same or similar has helped and I have began talking to close family about how I feel. It’s just hard not to feel like you are burdening them.