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[SabineB]

Hi Everyone. My name is Nicole. I'm 35 years old. I'm not sure where to start...this isn't easy. 

I'm here because for so many years I've been alone and holding the damage of my past inside. I don't want to be alone in this and that's what lead me here.  It was recently that I experienced some flashbacks and feelings of being back as kid when the incidents happened. The flashbacks and emotions this time are more painful and they have been with me for a few days. I've been able to block the past out or at least not think about it for long but this time it was very different. I can't even describe it but it has been a dark moment. 

 

I wish I had more to say for my first post but it has just been really tough the last few days. Thank you for listening.

 

 

 

 

 

Edited July 1, 2021 by SabineB

[Claira]

I also have held my past inside and finally let it out here after 30 plus years . You are in the right spot . Keep posting we are all here to help.sorry you are going thru this I know it sucks . I’m sending you safe hugs if ok 

[Charlee]

Thats really tough, welcome, i'm new too and am trying to figure out how to heal. I hope you feel better soon 

[IamSTRONGER444]

💜 Hi Nicole. You are not alone and in your own time and when you are ready you will open up more. Take this process at your own pace. Sending hugs and prayers and positive affirmations your way 🙏🥰

[8888]

Welcome @SabineB to After Silence.  I’m sorry for what brought you here but I’m happy you are here reaching out for support.  Good job taking this step in your healing process.  You are not alone and what happened to you wasn’t your fault.  I'm sorry to hear you are experiencing flashbacks.  That can be really tough.  Take your time exploring and post when you are ready.  If you have any questions feel free to message me. 

[SabineB]

Thank you everyone. I'm glad I'm not alone in this.

[Capulet]

Hello, Nicole, and welcome to After Silence!  Although we are not 'meeting' under ideal circumstances, I'm glad you are here.  We are a great community to be part of.  Though we all come from different walks of life, we all understand trauma.  Like you, I held mine in/suppressed for several years before starting to deal with things.  This site has been a true lifeline.  

I hope we can be the same for you.

Again - welcome.

Best wishes,

Capulet  

[Mave]

@SabineB Welcome to After Silence, Nicole! You are not alone in this, and we are all here to support you. When and if you’re ready, we will be here to listen. Nothing that happened to you is your fault, and you’re taking such a brave step in confronting your past and healing. I know that it isn’t easy. Sending hugs and support, if okay.

[Poppy_]

Hi, @SabineB - 

Welcome to After Silence! I'm sorry things are so rough right now. I've been there too. But, you have found a very loving and safe environment so share your experiences with and hopefully you will meet other survivors that can relate to your experience and help you to feel less alone. I know it can be scary to reach out, but you've made a wonderful first step by posting here. 

If you need anything at all, please feel free to reach out to me any time! I'll be here  

Wishing you the best,
Poppy

[MeBeMary]

Hi Nicole. 

Welcome to AfterSilence. I am very sorry for the trauma you have endured and the struggles you face because of it. This community is filled with understanding and kind individuals, you will find tons of support. You are not alone. 

I know what you mean that how you could block or not think about it, than boom! It sneaks up on you, as if to say that I'm still here! It isn't fair, but it is something we all know. It does help tho, to be part of a community like ours. 

It was a big step to reach out. I wish you many steps, all forward, as you continue this often times frustrating journey that we call healing.

Mary