I Can't Right Now but Maybe Someday

[Mission]

Yes, I'm new, and I'm not ready to share my story but all I can manage to say is that I was attacked, forced, and severely injured.  I despise  SV for all the obvious reasons but mostly because it's just so unfair.  I've read some of the posts here and credit the good brave speakers for sharing and for their persistence in finding outlets that will help in their road to recovery.  SV is graphic so I don't share, and I just can't right now, but maybe someday.  But despite what happened to you and me, I'd like to spend my time encouraging others because we did nothing wrong; and if the staff at After Silence doesn't mind, I'd like to use my time here to express the thing that I am able to express and to help encourage others which consequently, would help in my own recovery.

Mission    

[WannaMoveOn]

Hello there, @Mission and welcome to After Silence! I am Wanna

Reading your post, I want to share my sincere sympathies. I am sorry about your trauma and ongoing pain.

We believe you, and we want to support you. The idea of a community is to feel included and lessen the edge of difficult topics. You are encouraged to take your time, and how much you'll share is entirely your choice. Sometimes, it's just nice to know you're not alone. Your will to encourage others is being highly appreciated! 

This platform offers the opportunity to connect with fellow survivors. You can take part in other's experiences, get a chance to relate and create your own content. We talk about basically anything here, but we keep certain guidelines for sensitive topics. Please see your personal DM for that. 

I am glad you've decided to give After Silence a shot

If there would be anything at all, please contact us staff. Our doors are open for any questions or thoughts. 

Wishing you the very best

- W ☀️

[MeBeMary]

Hi Mission and welcome.

I am very sorry for what you have experienced, but have found a wonderful community filled with supportive members. When you share and what you share is ok in your own time. Many of our postings, as you've likely seen, have to do with the struggles in the aftermath, so your story does not have to be the primary reason you are here. If it comes, it comes. Until then, interacting does help. Relating and understanding one another is a huge part of this process...and this community will ask for and accept support. So you are in the right place.

Feel free to look around some more and jump in where it feels comfortable...no timeline and no pressure. I am glad that you have found us. I wish you well on this sometimes tricky, but all so worthy healing path.

Mary

[8888]

Welcome @Mission to After Silence.  I’m sorry for what brought you here but I’m happy you are here reaching out for support.  Good job taking this step in your healing process.  You are not alone and what happened to you wasn’t your fault.  Take your time exploring and post when you are ready.  If you have any questions feel free to message me. 

[Poppy_]

Hi, @Mission - 

Welcome to After Silence! I'm sorry you had to experience something so horrible in your life, but I hope that over time, you can begin to find healing from what this monster did to you. There is absolutely no pressure to share anything you aren't ready or don't want to share. This is a safe space for you to explore your emotions and connect to other people that can understand the weight of what's happened. 

You are free to share whatever your heart desires as long as it falls under the guidelines and doesn't break any rules 

We are happy to have you here! If you need any help with anything, feel free to give me a shout any time!  

Wishing you the best,
Poppy

[missfrier]

Dear mission

 

I am sorry for all that you have been through.   You have been so brave in reaching out to us, please know that this is never easy!   We are all here for you and we want to support you.  You're not alone in your healing journey and are always welcome to lean on us for extra support.  You can post as much or as little as you like.  We are here to support you in the way you need.  I have found this community to be very helpful.  Everyone is so understanding and non-judgmental and I am hoping you feel the same way once you've gotten to know us a little.   

 

All my best,

missfrier

 

 

[sisyphus]

Hello, @Mission.

I'm so sorry you have been harmed, and for the impacts to your life and well-being. I'm glad you found your way here.  It seems like some of the others have said most of the things I would like to - but mostly I just want to reinforce that this is a safe place to be as you are. Whether you want to talk about it, or not talk about it, all of us here have compassion because we, too, have had brutal experiences. 

I wish you blessings, comfort, support, safety and recovery.

[Claira]

Hello @Mission

I know how you feel . I was SA from

the ages of 4 -12 and I just started talking about it 30 years later . I just recently told my parents . I was ashamed and scared . But it replays in my head and it’s hard to cope some days but after talking about it has made the replays in my head less . So I’m here too so it will help me but also not sure if or when I will tell my story . Hopefully one day one or both of us will be able to get it off our chests . Because it’s horrible to live with and it wasn’t our faults . Take as long as you need to . 

[Mission]

Thank you for all the support and words of comfort.  I am thankful.  Claira, I like your suggestion of saying or admitting the hard parts together or to each other to get it off our chest.  How is it that we get stuck with shame and fear and all the other awful aftermath effects when we did nothing wrong?  It makes me angry!  

Edited June 20, 2021 by Mission

[Claira]

@Mission

I know I’m here because I don’t think people who haven’t been thru this truly understand what we carry around every day . It doesn’t matter if it was a long time ago or recent it sticks . I would love someone to talk to about it so if you would like to talk we absolutely can . Today is my first day here and not sure how all this works but if you want to let all this crap out of our heads together I can try. Because the alternative is to let it eat me alive . I am angry to a lot but mostly it makes me depressed. It wasn’t my fault but sometimes I feel it was because I should of said something or did something . I needed someone ( like my parents ) to notice how it changed me back then . I’m angry about that . I’m here if you want to exchange our horrible mind consuming stories.