My journey begins

[Charlieag]

I’m here beginning something that I hope will help me understand why and how  this happen to me so young, but want to say hello I’ve been reading through some forums and getting an understanding of how I’m going to face this and make myself feel like I can get some self worth.

 

[missfrier]

QDear charlieag

 

I would like to welcome you to After Silence's forums.  We are all here for you and want to support you in any way we can. I know that posting for the first time can be scary.  Please don't worry, though; you will always be given so much support from our lovely community and its members.  You're not alone - we are with you.

 

You will soon receive an official welcome message in your inbox.  Please feel free to respond to that PM if you have any questions about the forum or if you need some help finding your way around the site. 

 

Take care and keep reaching out!! 

 

 

 

 

[8888]

Welcome @Charlieag to After Silence.  I’m sorry for what brought you here but I’m happy you are here reaching out for support.  Good job taking this step in your healing process.  You are not alone and what happened to you wasn’t your fault.  I hope being here will help you as much as it has helped me.  Take your time exploring and post when you are ready.  If you have any questions feel free to message me. 

[Charlieag]

Thank you soo much, i feel so scared putting my pain out there but not knowing how to cope with these feelings anymore is taking over my life. I’m so hopeful I can support others too thank you for making me feel so welcome.

[Capulet]

Welcome, @Charlieag!  

Although it can be scary to start to open up and to reach out for support (especially within new spaces), I'm glad to see this is a step you're willing and eager to take.  This is a fantastic community (nope, not biased in the least bit 😄) and there is never a shortage of understanding.  

I'm always just a holler away if you need anything.

Again, welcome.  Glad to have you aboard!

Best wishes,
Capulet

[MeBeMary]

Hi Charlie and welcome. 

Very sorry you have reasons to be here and that you were hurt when you were young. It is so unfair that anyone hurt you and unfair that struggles continue. You found a wonderful community with many understanding members. You are not alone. 

Reading thru some of the forums is a good way to start. There is no rush or pressure for you to share, but do know when you are ready to interact, we are here for you. It is a scary step, I know, but know you are brave for reaching out. I wish you the best and you begin this confusing path we call healing.

Mary

[Hiddenstars]

@Charlieag

Welcome! I was really young when I experienced my SA. Feel free to message me any time.

[Finchy]

7 hours ago, Charlieag said:

I’m here beginning something that I hope will help me understand why and how  this happen to me so young, but want to say hello I’ve been reading through some forums and getting an understanding of how I’m going to face this and make myself feel like I can get some self worth.

 

Welcome to AS, Charlieag! I'm so glad you found your way here. But I am very sorry for what you've been through. You did not deserve it. I also was a child when I went through what I did. You're not alone. This is a big first step in healing, to find a community that can support you. We're here for you! Best wishes! 

-Finch

[elisand]

Hi Charlie! You made a very true headline "my journey begins". It truly is a journey and not an easy one. Whatsoever. But it's worthwhile. And you can get to a better place than you might be now. We never know how much but we try and slowly things begin to get better. I think I will write about the journey in my next blog post. You can check out my blog if you would like! So happy to have you!

Eli

[jazz101]

On 4/27/2021 at 8:40 PM, Charlieag said:

I’m here beginning something that I hope will help me understand why and how  this happen to me so young, but want to say hello I’ve been reading through some forums and getting an understanding of how I’m going to face this and make myself feel like I can get some self worth.

 

Heya , it's good too have you here . We all are here for you . Self worth is a major thing we may tend to struggle with . But you will get there and we all will help you get too where you need too be . 

 

Just know you are worth it ❤

[Charlieag]

Thank you all so much for your words of support I’m trying to get there to opening up and receiving some support but my anxiety it’s through the roof right now and consuming me, all your wonderful words are so lovely to receive and tell myself I’m not on my own when I found this amazing community just want to feel normal (dare I use that word) thank you all so much

charlieag xx

[jazz101]

Just now, Charlieag said:

Thank you all so much for your words of support I’m trying to get there to opening up and receiving some support but my anxiety it’s through the roof right now and consuming me, all your wonderful words are so lovely to receive and tell myself I’m not on my own when I found this amazing community just want to feel normal (dare I use that word) thank you all so much

charlieag xx

Take you're time in sharing with us , share as much or as little as you like . Whatever you feel comfortable with,  there is no rush.  

 

You're as normal as you can be.  Normal hasn't really a definition . Also who wants too be normal , its boring 😂 be different,  be you , do you . ❤

[Charlieag]

I feel I want to as it’s part of my journey I’ve never been able to tell anybody in detail what happened to me.

I feel disgusting dirty and my coping mechanisms are becoming more and more self destructive guess Ive just given up on myself but want to feel better and be a better person for my children, they deserve better and the thought of them being with out me kills me. Not saying I’m suicidal just struggle some days with this feeling of anger as it was not dealt with correctly by my family it doesn’t make sense on my head.How can something like that be brushed away???

The anxiety and anger combined can be horrendous need some help with coping mechanisms does anybody here struggle with these feelings and emotions how do you control them? 
Ive had counselling a few years back but feel maybe that’s not the route for me I really don’t know?!!! 
apologies for the outpouring it feels safe doing it here x

[elisand]

Ya Charlie, I hear. Other people brush it away so carelessly. Anxiety can be so crippling.

Coping mechanisms I used was like isolate, be angry at people for hurting me through insensitivity, hating people and stuff like that. As well as hating myself. And hurting myself like binge eating. 

I used tools like teaching myself that others are self absorbed, the bruise concept, and learning to assert my rights as a human being. 

Anxiety was another huge thing. I used to try to investigate what ppl were thinking to allay my anxiousness. I was deathly afraid of new circumstances and meeting people and stuff. And maybe overprotective. Etc. 

This stuff is such a battle. I worked on becoming assured in myself, knowing I might be awkward,  get tricked, or stuff but I'm still in control of what I do to the extent I am. I don't care about what others are thinking. They probably are thinking im crazy, I might miss the flight etc but who cares, I can't control everything. I can only do what's in my control. So I don't have to be scared. Either it will work out or it won't. 

To understand whether this applies to you it would be better to talk u know.

All the best! 

Eli

[Charlieag]

4 hours ago, jazz101 said:

Heya , it's good too have you here . We all are here for you . Self worth is a major thing we may tend to struggle with . But you will get there and we all will help you get too where you need too be . 

 

Just know you are worth it ❤

 

[Charlieag]

I’ve just felt I had the need to share my story it felt ok typing down I sent it thought now or never where do I go from here feel a bit lost

[Charlieag]

The anxiety is there and horrendous tonight maybe because I told my story or just anxious 😟 

[Easiertorun]

On 4/27/2021 at 3:40 PM, Charlieag said:

I’m here beginning something that I hope will help me understand why and how  this happen to me so young, but want to say hello I’ve been reading through some forums and getting an understanding of how I’m going to face this and make myself feel like I can get some self worth.

 

Welcome! I'm somewhat new here as well, and I have all the same feelings you have. It's a scary thought, being vulnerable and sharing. But I have found this place to be extremely supportive. I even have to keep telling myself to open up more! My inbox is always open to listen!

-Lisa