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Just had a traumaversary. Ex wife to be was in court, plead guilty to assault and breaching an avo.

She got off on mental health, which is great!! Not only does she get to be physically, emotionally and financially abusive, then she can walk away, and everyone just looooves to sympathize with people with mental health disorders, but I hear nothing about victims of their violence, which sucks.

Edited by MeBeMary
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Welcome to AS! I'm sorry about the trauma you've experienced, and that you just had a traumaversary. That's really a shame that your ex wife got off like that. Sadly, oftentimes the abusers get off so easily...and those of us that have suffered the abuse still have to deal with the pain. I'm so sorry. The justice system can be so messed up sometimes. :( Sending you lots of support. 

I'm glad you found your way here...you're not alone. I wish you well. You'll find a lot of supportive and kind people here!


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Hi doibelonghere,

Welcome to AfterSilence. I am very sorry for the trauma you have gone thru, as well of the struggles of an upcoming traumaversary. Nobody deserves to be abused in any way. Sadly, the legal system is lacking in many ways. I am sorry she is the one that is getting the sympathy. Survivors need understanding, and that too, is lacking within society. 

I am glad you decided to reach out. In regards to your user name, I will just say this...if you are hurting and struggling and need support and understand, the answer is yes. We accept you here and hope you find steps that will help you to move forward on this journey of healing.



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Hello @doibelonghere and welcome to After Silence! I am Wanna :flowers:

As I read your post, I understand you're upset and trust me, I am too. I am sincerely sorry for your trauma and pain. You do belong here, and your story matters to us. It takes great courage to bring this to court, and also to reach out. You can talk about pretty much anything here, from trauma and coping to just plain, everyday stuff. 

Please know you carry no guilt in this, and that we fully believe you. After Silence carries a platform with kind members who form a warm support system. We tend to relate to each other here.  :notalone:

Now, I do wish you the best of luck on your healing, and hope to see you around here. If there is anything us staff can do for you, please let us know. 

Take good care 

- Wanna ☀️


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Hello doibelonghere


Welcome to  AS.   I am sorry to hear that you've had to find us, but  glad you did.  I am sad to hear that someone you care about has experienced trauma.  It is always wonderful to see someone willing and wanting to help their family member or friend through this   difficult time.   Just being there for them and letting  them talk without fear of judgement is the absolute best gift you can give them.  Please know and understand that we are also here to support you.  I hope that being here will help you to be able to support your loved one as best as you possibly can.  Please lean on us for support if you need.  


Wishing you all the best!!!




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your situation sounds very difficult and I imagine it is very exhausting emotionally. 

In my opinion, mental illness doesn’t excuse abusive or harmful behavior. It can explain some aspects, but if the diagnosed individual refuses to get help and change their patterns - they shouldn’t play the sympathy card. 

I can relate in a way, my abuser often says “well my brain works like this so this is why I treat you this way and you should understand and just go with it.” 

Anyway, I’m sorry that you’re experiencing this trauma. You are brave to deal with this in court and share with us in here. 

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Welcome @doibelonghere to After Silence.  I’m sorry for what brought you here but I’m happy you are here reaching out for support.  Good job taking this step in your healing process.  You are not alone and what happened to you wasn’t your fault.  Take your time exploring and post when you are ready.  If you have any questions feel free to message me. 

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  • 2 weeks later...
On 4/1/2021 at 11:12 PM, galaxxxy said:


I can relate in a way, my abuser often says “well my brain works like this so this is why I treat you this way and you should understand and just go with it.” 

+1 here.

I heard almost a cut and paste version of this.

Of course if I did anything wrong I would never hear the end of it!!

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