Hello, I'm new

[Figs]

I'm not quite sure what to say here, but I guess I can start off by saying that I've suffered through a lot of types of abuse throughout my life, and I'm trying to work through all of it, and have been for the past couple of years. I have DID according to my therapist, but no diagnosis as of yet, and quite severe PTSD/CPTSD (not sure which one or if both). I find it very hard to come across people who don't shy away from the topic of rape or pretend it's a distant and rare issue, so it's difficult for me to have the conversations (both 'intellectual' and emotional) about r***, which is 100% understandable from their ends, albeit frustrating. The thing I'm struggling the most with currently is flashbacks, along with trying to let some alters remain ignorant of the abuse, which is tricky. I hope that one day things like the media and some people who aren't as educated on the subject will become more so, and stop blaming those who have been assaulted.

Oh and it might be helpful to mention my pronouns are they/them and I am non binary.

[write track]

Hi there @Figs  & welcome,

I'm new here myself & have been spending time reading through posts, materials & resources. Flashback are tough eh I hope you can find support through the site. I agree with you that a lot of ignorance exists about sexual assault & violation; not on here though, so it's good you arrived & can hopefully start healing  :)

[Capulet]

Hi there, @Figs!

Welcome to After Silence!!  I'm called Cap and am one of the site's moderators.  I'm sorry to learn of what's brought you here, but hope you've found a place where you can more comfortably converse about the traumas you've endured.  We are a supportive community and truly come together from all walks of life. ❤️ 

We do have a DID Support Board where you may be able to gain some feedback on how to develop a cooperative relationship with your alters.  Note though, only you're allowed to post on the boards.  If you'd like to share how some of your alters are feeling, that's okay to do, but alters are not allowed to post.  It's just much easier to follow and for others to support you this way.   Any questions on that, please feel free to drop me a line.

I am currently interning at the Gender and Sexuality Center at my university, and LOVE that you've shared your pronouns.  I appreciate your doing so!  Mine are she/her/hers.  It's wonderful to meet you and I look forward to getting to know you.

Best wishes to you,
Capulet

[Finchy]

Welcome to AS, @Figs!  I'm so sorry for all the trauma you've experienced. And that your flashbacks have been really strong lately. That's really difficult. I'm so sorry. But you're in the right place...we're a really supportive bunch. We're here for you. As Cap said, there is a board for DID support. I hope that you find it helpful.

I'm glad you found your way to AS! I'm also nonbinary. I use they/she pronouns. Sending you lots of support!

-Finch

[Figs]

Wow thank you all so much for the love and support! I hope I can start healing better

How would I access the DID Support Board? Sorry I feel like the information is around somewhere but I haven't seen anything regarding it, or maybe I don't have access to it yet because I haven't written 10 things yet.

Thank you all for your support again, it means a lot ❤️

[Poppy_]

Hi, @Figs - 

Welcome to After Silence! I'm so glad you're here  I have posted the DID support thread below so you can access it! No post requirements for that link. 

If you need anything else, feel free to message me anytime! 

 

 

[Figs]

Thank you!! @Poppy_ I'm glad there is a space for other survivors with DID.

[Poppy_]

@Figs - 

Anytime  I'm glad you found it! 

[missfrier]

Dear fig

 

I am sorry for all that you have been through.   You have been so brave in reaching out to us, please know that this is never easy!   We are all here for you and we want to support you.  You're not alone in your healing journey and are always welcome to lean on us for extra support.  You can post as much or as little as you like.  We are here to support you in the way you need.  I have found this community to be very helpful.  Everyone is so understanding and non-judgmental and I am hoping you feel the same way once you've gotten to know us a little.   

 

All my best,

missfrier

 

 

[8888]

Welcome @Figs to After Silence.  I’m sorry for what brought you here but I’m happy you are here reaching out for support.  Good job taking this step in your healing process.  You are not alone and what happened to you wasn’t your fault.  Take your time exploring and post when you are ready.  If you have any questions feel free to message me.  

[Figs]

Thank you both I'm so glad to have found such an non-judgemental place where people won't always question my validity.

[MeBeMary]

Hi Figs,

Welcome to AfterSilence. I am very sorry for the abuses you have endured in your life and for the struggles you face. What happened to you was wrong and unfair and I hope you know you did nothing wrong. It takes courage to face the things we have gone thru, so know that you are very brave.

I am glad you decided to reach out. You are not alone. Take your time and look around the site, and jump in where you are the most comfortable. I wish you the best as you continue down this path of healing.

Mary

 

BTW...you got some good information above, I'd like to add one, if it interests you.

If you would like to state on your profile your pronouns (like mini-finch has done above--above her avatar picture), I've pulled the following information from our FAQ page:
 

Quote

 

Self-Identifying with AS Profile Gender Options

Due to a technical programming deficiency, we are unable to expand the gender option at this time and only the Male/Female options are available to members. We do care about all our members and have an alternative that may help relay your gender self-identity to the other members on this site.

Under your profile name and above your profile picture there is a place that one can place information. This is called a "Member Title."  As a member, you have this space available to you to for information about yourself, including your gender self-identity.

How you would do this is by going to your profile page. In the top right corner you have two buttons, "Edit Profile" and "Cover Photo".  Click on Edit Profile.  A box will come up and the very first line in your profile information is the Member Title. This is where you would place gender self-identity information. Click the save button in the bottom right corner. We apologize for any inconveniences this has caused, but believe this can be a suitable solution for this technical issue.

 

 

[WannaMoveOn]

Hello @Figs, I am Wanna

I am sincerely sorry about your trauma, and that you'd struggled finding occasions to talk about this. I believe every survivor should have a safe place to let it out, once they feel ready and up to it. Here on After Silence, we do talk about different types of violence, but also mental health and recovery methods. Meaning, you are welcome to share about your experiences, trauma and your potential diagnoses as much as you'd like. Aside from that, we really chat about anything here. Good stuff, bad stuff, whatever you'd like to get out of your system or process. 

Indeed there are many misunderstandings about SA, r*pe and the defects of it. Please know that whatever anyone says, it was not your fault. I find our members doing very well on informing each other and offering wonderful support. I am so happy you chose to join! 

Once again, welcome! 

- Wanna ☀️

[Figs]

Thank you @MeBeMary for the support and the information on how to change that!

Thank you @WannaMoveOn too, for saying it's not my fault. I feel like I needed to hear that recently.

[goldraindrops]

Dear @Figs,

Welcome to After Silence.  I'm sorry that you have a reason to be here, but I'm happy you found us.  This is a kind and supportive community full of people who understand your experiences.

These are incredibly difficult subjects to talk about, but everyone here can relate.  Take your time reading through our forums and feel free to post as little or as much as you want.

Take Care,

Gold Raindrops

[WannaMoveOn]

@Figs Any time. It was not your fault, and your trauma is not your fault either. It is easy to wonder if one gave mixed signals or could have done anything differently, but no, nothing excuses to take advantage of somebody and hurt them this way. You own your story, and we believe you. You are not alone!