I see me...

[Minty]

Hello everyone...first of all..after seeing that there over 80k posts in just this section...it makes me so sad that so many people go through abuse. On the other hand I am glad that I found this forum. 

**I hope I am using the abbreviations correctly**

I went through physical abuse by my older brother. My first boyfriend (I was 16) abused me...with now current definition it was R. 

Bouncing from relationship to relationship I ended up with a narcissistic husband. I ended up having and emotional affair and things went from bad to worse (with physical, emotional and verbal abuse from him)...I now (after 20 years)realize what I have been through and how it effects me. He doesn't believe in therapy or that the abuse effected me...or that he is/was abusing me. I am working on a divorce...which is hard with children. 

I am working through this. I know I will be better. Any words of encouragement are very much appreciated. 😊

Edited February 22, 2021 by Minty

[Capulet]

Welcome to After Silence, @Minty!  I'm called Cap and I'm one of the site's moderators.

Sadly, I can relate to much of what you have said, right down to the narcissistic (ex) husband who never saw himself as contributing to our problems and didn't feel therapy was warranted, and that healing consisted of putting things in the past and 'moving on.'  We might have been married to the same man! 

All joking aside, I'm glad you found us and do sincerely hope that being here will bring you peace, comfort and healing.  You are definitely not alone.  

Please feel free to let me know if you need any help.   

Sending you strength and positivity on your healing process. 

Best wishes,

Capulet

[Finchy]

Welcome to AS @Minty!  I'm glad you found your way here. Yes, there's a lot of introductions, which is a very sad thing but also a positive thing because it means we are not alone and can find support. Two sides of the same coin I suppose you could say. 

I'm so sorry for the trauma you've experienced and even continue to deal with. I hope that you will be able to divorce him safely and work on healing. I can imagine it would be very difficult with children...but as long as they know they are loved, and this is being done so you all can continue to be loved and safe, I think it will be ok. I am not an expert though (unmarried, no children...). I wish you all the very, very best, and I hope that AS becomes a helpful place for you. 

Sending you lots of support!

-Finch

[Poppy_]

Hi, @Minty - 

Welcome to After Silence! I'm so sorry to hear about what you've gone through. While I can't relate as much as Cap, I can relate to the SA and I want you to know that I feel for you. I know that it doesn't matter how long it's been since it happened - trauma is still trauma. There's no timeline for healing. 

If you need anything, feel free to reach out to me any time! I'm here for you! 

Wishing you the best,
Poppy

[Minty]

Thank you @mini.finch  @Capulet and @Poppy_ I appreciate your words! ❤️

[missfrier]

Dear minty

 

I am sorry for all that you have been through.   You have been so brave in reaching out to us, please know that this is never easy!   We are all here for you and we want to support you.  You're not alone in your healing journey and are always welcome to lean on us for extra support.  You can post as much or as little as you like.  We are here to support you in the way you need.  I have found this community to be very helpful.  Everyone is so understanding and non-judgmental and I am hoping you feel the same way once you've gotten to know us a little.   

 

All my best,

missfrier

 

 

[8888]

Welcome @Minty to After Silence.  I’m sorry for what brought you here but I’m happy you are here reaching out for support.  Good job taking this step in your healing process.  You are not alone and what happened to you wasn’t your fault.  Take your time exploring and post when you are ready.  If you have any questions feel free to message me. 

[Minty]

Thank you!!

[MeBeMary]

On 2/22/2021 at 11:00 AM, Minty said:

Hello everyone...first of all..after seeing that there over 80k posts in just this section...it makes me so sad that so many people go through abuse. On the other hand I am glad that I found this forum. 

**I hope I am using the abbreviations correctly**

I went through physical abuse by my older brother. My first boyfriend (I was 16) abused me...with now current definition it was R. 

Bouncing from relationship to relationship I ended up with a narcissistic husband. I ended up having and emotional affair and things went from bad to worse (with physical, emotional and verbal abuse from him)...I now (after 20 years)realize what I have been through and how it effects me. He doesn't believe in therapy or that the abuse effected me...or that he is/was abusing me. I am working on a divorce...which is hard with children. 

I am working through this. I know I will be better. Any words of encouragement are very much appreciated. 😊

 

Hi there, Minty,

Welcome to AfterSilence. I am very sorry you have experiences past abuse and what you are currently dealing with now. None of this was your fault, I hope you know this. Nobody had or has the right to hurt another. Do know that you will find so much support here with our caring and understanding members. You are not alone.

I know enduring a bad relationship isn't as easy as getting up and leaving, but I am happy that you are looking towards a divorce. I know it's not easy, especially since you have children. I hope you work thru a plan that will help you succeed with it, for both you and your kinds. We will be supporting you until you can make it...and I know you will.

It takes courage to face things, past and present, so do understand you are so brave. I wish you many steps forward on this path of healing.

Mary

[WannaMoveOn]

Hello @Minty and welcome to After Silence, I am Wanna

You are being strong for finally finding your voice and breaking away from a destructive relationship. I admire that you would stand up for yourself, but I also understand that this must be a very hard realization. You are doing the best you can, and I wish the very best for you and your children in this. 

This is a safe place where you can connect with other survivors, get advice, vent, chat and share whatever you'd like. You own your story, and we believe you. I always encourage survivors to also consider professional guidance. How would you feel about that?

I am a bit late replying on this, but I hope for you to read this and maybe share your experience with this platform so far?  

Once again, welcome! 

- Wanna ☀️