Hi, I'm new here...

[ambi419]

I'm grateful for finding this forum and I'm hopeful that I can find the support I'm looking for and or offer support to someone else.

I'm am419 and I am extremely sad. 

I shouldn't be, I have a perfect life...with the exception of my abuse that keeps popping up to say "hi, I'm still here ". 

Without going into detail, how do you heal from trauma that happened years ago? How do you make the sadness go away? How do you not transfer your sadness to your child? How do you reconnect with your family who didn't protect you?

Thanks for your time, and this outlet to speak and be recognized and heard.

[MeBeMary]

Hi ambi419,

Welcome to AfterSilence. I am very sorry for the abuse you have experienced and the struggles you face. They are not fair, nor deserved. You will find much support here in our community and know that support you extend will also be accepted in turn. We truly are about supporting one another and helping each other along this path we find ourselves on. I am glad you have found us.

Our experience have that unfortunate affect of interfering even with what should be the most perfect life. It truly does go beyond the initial abuse and causes us many challenges. This is normal for such un-normal circumstances.

All of what you ask does take time, patience, and a fighting spirit within you. It's not an easy road for any survivor, but I do believe that acknowledging what happened and validating yourself and that experience is a true must to start this healing journey. Reaching out to others is a brave step. I do wish you more forward steps as you continue down this healing path. Remember you are not alone.

Mary

[Butterfly live]

1 hour ago, ambi419 said:

I'm grateful for finding this forum and I'm hopeful that I can find the support I'm looking for and or offer support to someone else.

I'm am419 and I am extremely sad. 

I shouldn't be, I have a perfect life...with the exception of my abuse that keeps popping up to say "hi, I'm still here ". 

Without going into detail, how do you heal from trauma that happened years ago? How do you make the sadness go away? How do you not transfer your sadness to your child? How do you reconnect with your family who didn't protect you?

Thanks for your time, and this outlet to speak and be recognized and heard.

I am so sorry that happens to you. We are all very supportive here and we will help you.

[missfrier]

Dear ambie419

 

I am sorry for all that you have been through.   You have been so brave in reaching out to us, please know that this is never easy!   We are all here for you and we want to support you.  You're not alone in your healing journey and are always welcome to lean on us for extra support.  You can post as much or as little as you like.  We are here to support you in the way you need.  I have found this community to be very helpful.  Everyone is so understanding and non-judgmental and I am hoping you feel the same way once you've gotten to know us a little.   

 

All my best,

missfrier

 

 

[WannaMoveOn]

5 hours ago, ambi419 said:

I'm grateful for finding this forum and I'm hopeful that I can find the support I'm looking for and or offer support to someone else.

I'm am419 and I am extremely sad. 

I shouldn't be, I have a perfect life...with the exception of my abuse that keeps popping up to say "hi, I'm still here ". 

Without going into detail, how do you heal from trauma that happened years ago? How do you make the sadness go away? How do you not transfer your sadness to your child? How do you reconnect with your family who didn't protect you?

Thanks for your time, and this outlet to speak and be recognized and heard.

Hello am419, I am Wanna  Welcome! 

I am sincerely and deeply sorry for your pain. This shouldn't have happened, and you have every right to your emotions. Please know that you have no guilt in this, and that After Silence is here for you. 

When something traumatic happens to us, the experiences sadly doesn't dissolve by itself. The trauma needs to be actively processed, why it can come up at unexpected times. This is completely normal, and there is great help to receive. I am sorry you are worried about your child. We have plenty of parents on this platform, who can give some advice. 

Sadness is a natural reaction. You can turn your sadness to part of processing by identifying why. Have you considered counselling? 

You can talk about anything here. Our members form a wonderful support system. This community is here for you, whether you need advice, support, venting or somebody to relate to. How sweet that you want to offer support, that is appreciated! 

Take care, and best of luck. Hope to see you around   

- Wanna ☀️

[8888]

Welcome @ambi419 to After Silence.  I’m sorry for what brought you here but I’m happy you are here reaching out for support.  Good job taking this step in your healing process.  You are not alone and what happened to you wasn’t your fault.  Processing trauma can be extremely helpful.  You may want to look for a therapist who has experience with trauma.  Other things that can help are this forum, journaling, art, or mindfulness, to name a few.  Not all the same things work for everybody unfortunately but hopefully this forum will give you some ideas of some things that work for you.  Take your time exploring here and post when you are ready.  If you have any questions feel free to message me. 

[ambi419]

Wow thank you all for your kind words! Very much needed. 

Thank you for the suggestions as well. I am currently in therapy but its new so it will take time. I felt like therapy was the 1st start. Finding this group was the 2nd step. And I pulled out my canvases so I can start painting. 

Yesterday I allowed myself to be sad all day. I worked a half day and laid in bed, only pulling myself out to make dinner for my family and put on a happy face for them. I put my sadness in perspective and I know now why I was so sad. Today is a new day...a better day than yesterday. I'm not so emotional which is good.

Seeing these responses made me feel good.

Thank you all again, I'll be seeing you all around 😊

[WannaMoveOn]

1 hour ago, ambi419 said:

Wow thank you all for your kind words! Very much needed. 

Thank you for the suggestions as well. I am currently in therapy but its new so it will take time. I felt like therapy was the 1st start. Finding this group was the 2nd step. And I pulled out my canvases so I can start painting. 

Yesterday I allowed myself to be sad all day. I worked a half day and laid in bed, only pulling myself out to make dinner for my family and put on a happy face for them. I put my sadness in perspective and I know now why I was so sad. Today is a new day...a better day than yesterday. I'm not so emotional which is good.

Seeing these responses made me feel good.

Thank you all again, I'll be seeing you all around 😊

I am so happy you have gotten help, and found a group. I think that professional help, a community and support from loved ones all complete each other in a support system. Creativity is a great way to vent, or to get some distraction. We do have a forum for that as well, healing through creativity.  

Just remember to give yourself the time you need and cut yourself some slack. There will be good days. Embrace them. There will be bad days. Don't suppress them. They are all steps on the journey, but you are doing all what you can right now. I am so happy for you. 

Sending my best wishes 

- Wanna ☀️

 

[Poppy_]

Hi, @ambi419 - 

Welcome to After Silence! I'm sorry you're going through such a hard time right now and that you have so many questions floating around in your head that are unanswered. I think healing is different for everyone. I'm still healing from trauma in my childhood that I didn't recognize as abuse until a little over a year ago. I think the best thing you can do is try to take care of yourself and show yourself some love. Be patient and recognize that healing takes time and there's no right or wrong way to do it, nor is there a rush to heal quicker. It's all in your own time. 

I hope this was helpful. If there's anything else I can do for you, please let me know. I'm here if you ever need someone to talk to! 

Wishing you the best,
Poppy