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HoneyG

Triggered by husband

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My trauma occurred fifteen years ago and I had repressed the reality of it until I had a flashback two months ago during intimacy with my spouse. Since then I have been overwhelmingly depressed and anxious. I’ve seen a counselor for three years and since the flashback a therapist for this trauma. I don’t know how to explain to my spouse that ANY instance of him suggesting, expecting, hoping or initiating physical contact or intimacy is a huge trigger. It is so different from our normal. Physical touch is affection to him and we have “successfully” been intimate a handful of times since the flashback and this is causing him confusion on how to act. I don’t know when I’ll be triggered or not and I want our intimacy to continue when possible. I’m so confused and feel like such a disappointment all of the time. This is so hard. 

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Hi HoneyG,

Welcome to AfterSilence. I am very sorry for the trauma you went thru 15 years ago. It was unjust and undeserved. The struggles you face are also unfair. I'm sorry you deal with them. You have found a community filled with understanding and supportive members. You are not alone.

It can be difficult to explain to others what we feel and go thru, as often times it is difficult even for ourselves to understand. As difficult as it is, try to keep communication open with him as you try to navigate thru this.

I am glad you decided to reach out here and hope that you find the healing steps you deserve.

Mary

:youcanheal: 

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Dear honeyg

 

I am sorry for all that you have been through.   You have been so brave in reaching out to us, please know that this is never easy!   We are all here for you and we want to support you.  You're not alone in your healing journey and are always welcome to lean on us for extra support.  You can post as much or as little as you like.  We are here to support you in the way you need.  I have found this community to be very helpful.  Everyone is so understanding and non-judgmental and I am hoping you feel the same way once you've gotten to know us a little.   

 

All my best,

missfrier

 

 

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Welcome @HoneyG to After Silence.  I’m sorry for what brought you here and that you are currently experiencing some struggles.  It's up to you what you tell your husband but I agree with @MeBeMary that communication is important.  You are not alone and what happened to you wasn’t your fault.  Many survivors struggle with intimacy after this kind of trauma.  Take your time exploring here and post when you are ready.  If you have any questions feel free to message me. 

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Hello, that sounds so incredibly difficult. Have you thought about couples counseling to navigate through this? It seems some support would go a long way.

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