hi

[elle222]

I don't really know what to say. I was molested by a member of my family from ages 2-12 and I was raped at 14. I don't really tell anyone about this I'd rather just forget it ever happened. I went to an all-girls high school after the incident happened freshman year at public school, just felt safer there. But I just recently started college and things are very difficult. I have all these emotions and everything that happened to me just keeps coming back and I don't know how to stop it. I've already let a guy take advantage of me here (not physically emotionally) and I just don't know what to do. I don't know how to make friends I'm just scared all the time. I've talked to my very close friends about this stuff before but I hate bringing it up around them I just feel like a pain so it's like I told them about it, but I haven't said anything about it since and they don't bring it up cause it a tough issue. I just wanted some advice on how to forget about it or deal with it from people I know have gone through similar situations. if you can help please talk to me.

[MeBeMary]

Hi elle,

Welcome to AfterSilence. I am very sorry what happened to you as a child and for the recent emotional abuse, as well. You will find tons of support here, as this community is filled with many understanding and kind survivors, like yourself. You are not alone.

I understand how you would want to forget the traumas you've endured and I know it really isn't as easy as we wish. Even if we can find a way to deny what happen, there are still struggles that pop up, because of it. I spent many years trying to deny, only to realize it really didn't help me much. As hard as it is, I do believe acknowledging what happened is that first big step. Coming here is another. I may sound bias, but we all come here new, like you are now. It really opened my eyes to how many others truly understand and can relate.

I suggest you look around the site a bit. You will find many others that had similar situations and many who have those same struggles. I feel it makes a difference when you have others who validate and accept you and your experiences. I validate and accept you. It was a big step to reach out and I wish you many more forward steps and you begin this journey we call healing.

Mary

 

 

[8888]

Welcome @elle222 to After Silence.  I’m sorry for what brought you here but I’m happy you are here reaching out for support.  Good job taking this step in your healing process.  You are not alone and what happened to you wasn’t your fault.  College can be a really hard time for anyone but especially survivors.  If things get to be too much or you just need to talk more you may want to see if your college has a counseling center as well.  Most of the times they are free to students.  Having support here may be enough but in the event it is not I want you to know there are options and healing is still possible.  If you have any questions feel free to message me.

Edited September 4, 2020 by 8888

[missfrier]

Dear elle222

I am sorry for all that you have been through.   You have been so brave in reaching out to us, please know that this is never easy!   We are all here for you and we want to support you.  You're not alone in your healing journey and are always welcome to lean on us for extra support.  You can post as much or as little as you like.  We are here to support you in the way you need.  I have found this community to be very helpful.  Everyone is so understanding and non-judgmental and I am hoping you feel the same way once you've gotten to know us a little.   

All my best,
missfrier