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So hi i guess.  so im a sexual abuse survivor.  its taken me almost 20 mins just to type that out.  it had happened most of my childhood than restarted with my first boyfriend.  I'm married now and have a wonderful husband who is understanding of my trama but after all these years sex scares me. I still have issues being touched even with therapy.  I don't know if all of this goes here i just wanted to get it off my chest. so yeah.

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Hello @kenken and welcome to After Silence! I am Wanna :flowers:

I am truly and deeply sorry for your trauma and how it affects your life. How it makes you scared of sex and giving you issues with physical interactions. Please know that we believe you, and that none of what happened is your fault.

After Silence has a wide diversity of survivors, and we invite you to share as much as you feel comfortable with. If you had a chance to browse the platform, you might have noticed that we talk a bit about everything here. You can share about your past, present life, issues, progress and about anything you like. 

Reaching out for help can be tough. I am happy you decided to join our community, and to hear that you have a supportive partner. We want you to know that After Silence is here for every step of your healing journey. 

Feel free to look around here and if you would have questions, need advice or to vent/chat, do not hesitate to reach out to us staff. We always have doors open for you! 

:youcanheal: :notalone:

We are so happy to have you! Hope to see you around and stay safe

- Wanna 

Edited by WannaMoveOn
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Welcome @kenken to After Silence.  I’m sorry for what brought you here but I’m happy you are here reaching out for support.  Good job taking this step in your healing process.  You are not alone and what happened to you wasn’t your fault.  I'm happy to hear about your supportive husband.  Take your time exploring here and post when you are ready.  If you have any questions feel free to message me. 

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Hi kenken,

Welcome to AfterSilence. I am very sorry for the traumas you've endured and the struggles you face. It was unfair and undeserved that anyone hurt you, but you will find tons of support here. You are not alone. Do know the struggles you have are sadly not uncommon for a survivor. I am glad you have support from a wonderful husband and now will find more from others who understand and relate to what you been thru.

Take your time to look around and feel free to interact where you are comfortable. Reaching out is a big step and I wish you many more forward steps as you move forward on this journey of healing.



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I too understand the feelings you are going through. I am sorry to hear that you've experienced it, but maybe it would help to know that you are not alone. I came here for that purpose and the same kind of support/healing you are looking for. 

It is really hard to not be able to experience physical love the way we would want to. It can even be very confusing, wondering why we react that way. For me, it comes and goes, the ability to be touched and the memories that flood back. But you know, I am grateful that we have survived and that we are learning to heal ourselves. Some things take time and that is the unfortunate part of our healing process... it doesn't just show up. But I am here, you are here, and there are many others like us, full of love, capability, and creativity, willing to learn to love ourselves again or even for the first time ever. That is something to be grateful for. 

Also, sometimes it's okay to be pissed! Like, I get so so angry when I think about these things or the pain that has happened. But fuck it, right? That anger is JUSTIFIED just as our more positive feelings are. 

To make a long story short, you are beautiful as am I and any other person who is hurting that is reading this. And we will get by. 

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Dear kenken

Welcome to After Silence.  I am sorry to hear of the trauma you have been through!

Being here has helped me so much.   Everyone is so caring and supportive here.  I am proud of you for reaching out.  I know that is hard to do.  I also know that you will find that needed compassion and support here within our community.  Know we are here for you and we will listen whenever you would like to lean on us.    

Take care and please do not hesitate to ask for any help if you ever need it.  

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20 hours ago, shaantiamor said:

To make a long story short, you are beautiful as am I and any other person who is hurting that is reading this. And we will get by. 

Hi shanntimor,

A warm welcome to you, as well. Love what you said here. I'm a believer in this, too. Thank you for sharing this and supporting others!

I wish you the best.


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