Hi + Intro

[Hope321]

I have recently joined this forum as the next step in my healing journey. I have been encouraged by the posts I have read so far and the unconditional support that is offered. It is such a beautiful thing.

I have lived for as long as I can remember in fear, with feelings of deep shame and unworthiness. For a long time, I was certain there was something wrong with me and there was little if anything I could do about it.

Now I have recently been able to acknowledge the severe trauma I suffered in my past so that I can work through it. So much in my past makes sense as I am seeing the truth instead of all the lies that were told over and over again. Acknowledging the truth has been such a very difficult thing for me to do instead of pretending that everything is okay, which I did for so many years. But also it is the beginning of healing.

My T recommended joining a support group as I have greatly desired additional support and understanding. I do have some helpful support in my life but most individuals just do not understand the extent of my pain nor the many facets of the damage done and the amount of healing needed.

I am looking forward to interacting more with you by giving and receiving support. I know I desperately need it! 

~ Hope

[missfrier]

Dear hope

I would like to welcome you to After Silence's forums.  We are all here for you and want to support you in any way we can. I know that posting for the first time can be scary.  Please don't worry, though; you will always be given so much support from our lovely community and its members.  You're not alone - we are with you.

You will soon receive an official welcome message in your inbox.  Please feel free to respond to that PM if you have any questions about the forum or if you need some help finding your way around the site. 

Take care and keep reaching out!! 

 

[Capulet]

Hi @Hope321 -

Welcome to After Silence!  Depending on where you're from, online support groups are all the rage these days - we are smack-dab in the middle of uncertain times and I'm hopeful that you'll find a lot of our members are currently or have been in the same boat. I'm glad you like what you see here, as in-person support is increasingly hard to find these days.  Thanks for telling us a little bit about yourself.  I'm called Cap and I'm one of the site's moderators.  I'm a survivor of CSA, rape and domestic violence.  I joined back in 2007 but did take a few years' hiatus after my divorce.  This site has been a tremendous healing tool for me.  Now that my life is generally stable, I've gone back to school to pursue my degree in social work.

You're very right - I can truly relate to what you say about spending a long time pretending all is right with us when truthfully, it's not.  It's just much easier to spend a bit of time visiting the state of Denial before venturing onto the path of healing.  I know what a big step it is to make the decision to start to nurture some of those past wounds, so I hope you are proud of yourself for taking this huge leap!

Looking forward to getting to know you!  Please know I'm just a shout away if you have any questions or concerns.

Best wishes,
Capulet

[8888]

Welcome @Hope321 to After Silence.  I’m sorry for what brought you here but I’m happy you are here reaching out for support.  Good job taking this step in your healing process.  You are not alone and what happened to you wasn’t your fault.  I'm so glad you have begun acknowledging the truth.  I too have felt others in my life do not understand.  I have found being here to be helpful and I hope you will too.  Take your time exploring here and post when you are ready.  If you have any questions feel free to message me. 

[MeBeMary]

3 hours ago, Hope321 said:

I have recently joined this forum as the next step in my healing journey. I have been encouraged by the posts I have read so far and the unconditional support that is offered. It is such a beautiful thing.

I have lived for as long as I can remember in fear, with feelings of deep shame and unworthiness. For a long time, I was certain there was something wrong with me and there was little if anything I could do about it.

Now I have recently been able to acknowledge the severe trauma I suffered in my past so that I can work through it. So much in my past makes sense as I am seeing the truth instead of all the lies that were told over and over again. Acknowledging the truth has been such a very difficult thing for me to do instead of pretending that everything is okay, which I did for so many years. But also it is the beginning of healing.

My T recommended joining a support group as I have greatly desired additional support and understanding. I do have some helpful support in my life but most individuals just do not understand the extent of my pain nor the many facets of the damage done and the amount of healing needed.

I am looking forward to interacting more with you by giving and receiving support. I know I desperately need it! 

~ Hope

Hi Hope,

Welcome to AfterSilence. I am so sorry for the trauma you've endured in your life. It is very unfair and undeserved. Your post here reminds me much of when I first came here 5 years ago, less the sharing of my experiences with others before joining. I spent a long time thinking I was so alone and there was something wrong with me. After all, it's easier to deny than deal with. Or so I thought. It's not easy, but at least I do know I'm not strange and I'm not alone. Others understand me and my struggles. You will experience this, as well.

I am glad you have taken some time to look around. Your impressions are truly on mark. You are not alone and you will be validated and supported by the wonderful members here. I wish you well as you continue this journey on this path we call healing. 

Mary

[Hope321]

Thank you all for your kind, welcoming and supportive words. They make my heart happy. It means so much not to be alone.