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New here and so SO grateful to have found this community. I am an incest survivor and have been slowly processing and dealing with my trauma since I was able to leave home as an adult and, I realize only now, maintain a safe distance away from the perpetrators. It has been completely awful. I am still in contact with my family and I love them, but I know now that I deserve to heal and that what happened was sexual abuse and assault. I often feel very conflicted and confused about what healing should look like for me and what I even deserve. My family’s denial is limiting my life experience and ability to feel joy. Realizing only now it is damaging in so many ways to talk to or associate with my father; i am tired of holding this secret and the rest of the family acting as though things are perfectly normal. I am tired of “pretending,” which was such a huge part of growing up that it continues to affect go I live in the world now. 

I am also starting to think about and mourn the injustice of what happened for the first time as an adult. As a child, I was prevented from reporting by my mother. I am starting to consider making a report now. Sometimes I fear that what happened to me happened to another child or could. I have a great T who has been wonderfully supportive about ways to approach my concerns regarding this. Grateful for the stories and perspectives of other incest survivors with respect to how they’ve managed/navigated these things. 

 

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Hi there, @HZ25 and welcome to After Silence!  I'm glad you've found this community though I'm sorry terrible circumstances have prompted your search - I hope being here brings you peace, comfort and healing. ❤️ 

Please take your time looking around and jump in wherever you feel most comfortable.  

You should be hearing from a member of our Newbie Support Team very soon.  Until then, please know I'm just a shout away if you have any questions. :)  

Warmly,
Capulet

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Dear hz25

I am sorry for all that you have been through.   You have been so brave in reaching out to us, please know that this is never easy!   We are all here for you and we want to support you.  You're not alone in your healing journey and are always welcome to lean on us for extra support.  You can post as much or as little as you like.  We are here to support you in the way you need.  I have found this community to be very helpful.  Everyone is so understanding and non-judgmental and I am hoping you feel the same way once you've gotten to know us a little.   

All my best,
missfrier

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Hi @HZ25,

Welcome to After Silence!

I am glad you are here but am sorry for the abuse you endured as a child.

Wishing you all the best as you move forward in your healing journey.

Tsabu  :wave:

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Hi HZ25,

Welcome to AfterSilence. I am very sorry for the trauma that you have endured and the struggles and heartache you still have today. You do deserve to heal, as you have been unfairly hurt. You have done nothing wrong, only he has. I am sorry that your family seems in denial of what happened and are not supporting you, as  you should be. I am glad that you have a T to help you thru the whirlwind of confusion and healing, and now that you reached out to us. This community is filled with understanding and kind members. You are not alone.

It takes great courage to even consider charges, so I commend you on your bravery. It is not an easy choice, and no matter what you end up deciding, you will be supported here.

I am glad you decided to reach out here. Take your time to look around and interact when and where you feel comfortable. I wish you many, many forward steps as you continue down this path we call healing.

Mary

:supportu: 

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Welcome @HZ25 to After Silence.  I’m sorry for what brought you here but I’m happy you are here reaching out for support.  Good job taking this step in your healing process.  You are not alone and what happened to you wasn’t your fault.  Take your time exploring and post when you are ready.  If you have any questions feel free to message me. 

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