New and looking for advice

[Lucy1603]

Hello everyone! 

     I have just joined this today and I am looking for some advice and some support. A few years ago I stayed at my boyfriend at the times house - we had been drinking and I had passed out - and I woke up to him having sex with me. For many years I ignored it and pretended like it didn't happen and also making excuses that maybe I was too drunk and i had dreamed it.  But recently I have began to have dreams and sleep paralysis about the incident and in the past few months I have had panic attacks or anxiety attacks when I have tried to become intimate with anyone else. I would really hope to hear your advice about ways to deal with overcoming what happened and if anyone could recommend any online counselling or therapy sessions. #

   Thank you so much for reading and I hope to hear from you soon. 

[drowningnotwaving]

Welcome @Lucy1603, sorry you have to be here but i'm sure you will lots of support from a wonderful bunch of people.

peace to you 😃

[8888]

Welcome @Lucy1603 to After Silence.  I’m sorry for what brought you here but I’m happy you are here reaching out for support.  Good job taking this step in your healing process.  You are not alone and what happened to you wasn’t your fault.  For me I am currently doing video counseling sessions with a counseling center near me that normally offers in-person counseling, as they are offering it now due to the pandemic.  I know a lot of places are currently offering telephone sessions as well.  If you are in the US you can search for therapists here:

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists

Some counseling centers seem to be offering it for the long term as well, I'm not sure if you are not wanting to go to an office because of the pandemic or for other reasons.  

Take your time exploring here and post when you are ready.  If you have any questions feel free to message me. 

[WannaMoveOn]

Hello @Lucy1603

I am Wanna ☀️ 

I am sorry for what happened to you, your trauma and all that comes with it. I hope you will find the support you need on this site, and please know I have doors open if you would have any questions or need to chat/vent. 

Take care

- Wanna 

 

[Turniphead]

Hi! I’m new here as well but your post struck me as I had a very similar experience with my ex-husband. It has been a couple of years since it happened and it is like everything is resurfacing just now. I know I ignored it and told myself that it wasn’t sexual assault and I buried it so far back that I didn’t think about it consciously anymore. I had so much anxiety and fear about having sex after it though, I blamed myself and thought something was wrong with me because I didn’t understand why. I just want you to know that you’re not alone and I really empathize. Hopefully we can both find a path forward and support from new friends on here.