Hello

[Feeling-Hopeless]

Hi

I’ve just signed up again as I came here years ago, but wasn’t ready to talk. I opened up to my therapist recently about one incident, and I don’t know how I feel as I’ve always kept these things to myself, but they’re eating away at me. Well, I do know I’m scared and confused, but there are lots of other thoughts, feelings and memories which are all jumbled up. 
 

I don’t think I’m ready to say anything about my experiences, but there are sadly a few scattered throughout my life from childhood onwards. It makes me feel s**t (hope it’s ok to swear). I’ve only shared a summary of one of my experiences with my therapist so far, and I didn’t detail anything, or say the word I dread saying. I zoned out and can’t really remember the details of what I said, but I ended up having a panic attack when she suggested I write it down... I can’t even do that. 
 

I'm a mess and I’m not sure if this is the right thing to do, but I guess I want to have some virtual company with others who understand.
 

Im just sorry that there’s a need for this type of forum, but I’m glad this exists. I can’t say anymore than hello right now, this is just too hard!
 

 

Edited June 23, 2020 by Feeling-Hopeless
Edited for clarity

[missfrier]

Dear feeling hope less

I am sorry for all that you have been through.   You have been so brave in reaching out to us, please know that this is never easy!   We are all here for you and we want to support you.  You're not alone in your healing journey and are always welcome to lean on us for extra support.  You can post as much or as little as you like.  We are here to support you in the way you need.  I have found this community to be very helpful.  Everyone is so understanding and non-judgmental and I am hoping you feel the same way once you've gotten to know us a little.   

All my best,
missfrier

[8888]

Welcome @Feeling-Hopeless to After Silence.  I’m sorry for what brought you here but I’m happy you are here reaching out for support.  Good job taking this step in your healing process.  You are not alone and what happened to you wasn’t your fault.  Take your time exploring and post when you are ready.  If you have any questions feel free to message me. 

[MeBeMary]

Hi Feeling,

Welcome to AfterSilence. I am very sorry for all the trauma you have experienced in life, but you will find support here. You are not alone. This community is filled with people who understand and are very kind. We will help validate your experiences, without pressuring for any uncomfortable details. You are in control of what you share on this site. It may get easier with time, but it is always encouraged you look around and take it at your own pace. I've been here 5 years and I can honestly say that my story...is only in bits and pieces around the site.

Do know it is ok to swear in the topic itself, we just request none in topic headings and if excessive, to place a tag of warning. So that is ok. Do know tho, your feelings are common and are natural for what you been thru, but you are not what you feel. You are much more and you are worthy of healing. We all know this is not very easy and not very quick, but do know we all walk this path together.

You were brave to find us and reach out. You were brave to get your introduction down and consider how this forum can help you. You are just brave.

I do wish you the best as you continue down this path of healing.

Mary

 

[goldraindrops]

Dear @Feeling-Hopeless

Welcome to After Silence.

I think many of us can relate to what you're describing - painful memories, difficulty talking about it and the "speechless terror" that can come up.  Know that you are not alone and this is a kind and supportive community that is here for you.

Feel free to read through our threads and/or post whenever you'd like.

Blessings,

Gold Raindrops

[Feeling-Hopeless]

Thank you @missfrier @8888 @MeBeMary and @goldraindrops for your really kind replies xx