New To This

[pineapples]

Hi everyone,

I have never done this before so I am not sure what to even expect but I guess I will start by saying I am 28 years old woman. I just left my 4 and 1/2 year relationship that was mostly filled with cursing at me, yelling, threatening me, blackmailing me and just empty promises of changing but it never actually happened. I don't really know where to go from here but I do know that I need to go from him since it is never going to change. I am starting therapy and hoping to find my way forward but I would love some advice from anyone man/woman who has been through something toxic on how to heal or what to do. Thank you.

[8888]

Welcome @pineapples to After Silence.  I’m sorry for what brought you here but I’m happy you are here reaching out for support.  Good job taking this step in your healing process.  You are not alone and what happened to you wasn’t your fault.  Take your time exploring and post when you are ready.  If you have any questions feel free to message me. 

[MeBeMary]

Hi pineapples,

Welcome to AfterSilence. I am very sorry for the trauma you've experienced over the past few years, I do know how brave it is to live a domestic violence situation. You go into the relationship with hope and good thoughts and can suddenly feel trapped. So good for you for being able to leave him. I am personally not part of a DV abuse, but there are many others on this site who are or have been. We have a whole forum dedicated to just that...plus many other forums to discuss the struggles and emotions that must come with that. I encourage you to take a look around. You will find many understanding members.

I am glad you have also reached out. It can be a difficult step itself, but it can be so helpful to be where others know the struggles we face...without pressure or judgement. I do wish you the very best as you begin this journey in healing.

Mary

 

 

[pineapples]

Thank you so much Mary, I really appreciate your kind words

[missfrier]

On 6/19/2020 at 4:24 PM, pineapples said:

Hi everyone,

I have never done this before so I am not sure what to even expect but I guess I will start by saying I am 28 years old woman. I just left my 4 and 1/2 year relationship that was mostly filled with cursing at me, yelling, threatening me, blackmailing me and just empty promises of changing but it never actually happened. I don't really know where to go from here but I do know that I need to go from him since it is never going to change. I am starting therapy and hoping to find my way forward but I would love some advice from anyone man/woman who has been through something toxic on how to heal or what to do. Thank you.

Dear pineapples

Welcome to After Silence.  I am sorry to hear of the trauma you have been through!

Being here has helped me so much.   Everyone is so caring and supportive here.  I am proud of you for reaching out.  I know that is hard to do.  I also know that you will find that needed compassion and support here within our community.  Know we are here for you and we will listen whenever you would like to lean on us.    

Take care and please do not hesitate to ask for any help if you ever need it.  

[pineapples]

1 hour ago, missfrier said:

Dear pineapples

Welcome to After Silence.  I am sorry to hear of the trauma you have been through!

Being here has helped me so much.   Everyone is so caring and supportive here.  I am proud of you for reaching out.  I know that is hard to do.  I also know that you will find that needed compassion and support here within our community.  Know we are here for you and we will listen whenever you would like to lean on us.    

Take care and please do not hesitate to ask for any help if you ever need it.  

Hi missfrier,

I guess I just don't really know where to start? Part of me wants to tell all of the trauma but then I think about how much of it I dealt with (and I know other people out there have had it much much worse), I guess I just feel ashamed or silly because I can't believe I stayed through all the toxic behavior for as long as I did. 

[missfrier]

Please never feel guilty  ashamed or silly what u went through  happened to u and its Yr story     in time u my want share ur story  or  u may not want to that is ur choice but we are all here for u u don't have do it alone  safe hugs

[pineapples]

Thank you missfrier❤️