Laughing along

[karakarakara]

You can call me Mikya. I'm a trans man, a game development student, musician, writer, and a survivor.

I have experienced quite a lot of this type of trauma, to the point that I don't tell anyone of anything but incidents that everyone have proof, because I know no one will believe me anymore if I do. I've also laughed all of it off for my entire life, and I'm so tired of laughing. I want to grieve and be angry... I heard about this website from a friend I met in residential (for ED) and I decided I probably need a safe place to grieve since I have none outside of my partner -- I'm sure it's an incredibly big burden for her to carry when I'm struggling, especially since she struggles herself with other things, so I don't want her to bear the brunt of all of my trauma meltdowns and mood swings. I feel like it's safe to grieve and process things here. 

I'm in therapy, granted not as often as I need it due to insurance, so my therapist agreed it was important to find somewhere to process between sessions, and this community seems very welcoming. I hope to get to know you all and become friends.  

[MeBeMary]

Hello Mikya,

Welcome to AfterSilence. I am very sorry for the trauma you have gone thru and the struggles you face. There is never a reason why one should be abused, let alone laughed at about it. You won't be laughed at here. You will be supported and validated. You will find our members understanding and kind and you can speak with the confidence that it is safe and there is never judgment.

It is nice that you do have some support, but I do understand that it may feel burdensome to always seek it from her. You will not be a burden here, as we all do share a common thread and understand one another's struggles. You are not alone. Feel free to look around the site and jump in where you feel comfortable. I wish you the best as you continue this journey of healing.

Mary

 

[snmls]

Hi @karakarakara

Welcome to AS.  I'm sorry for the trauma you have faced, but I'm glad you found the site and decided to join. This is a safe and supportive community.  You are allowed to express all of your feelings here. You are allowed to grieve and feel sad and angry. All of those feelings are part of the healing process and it's okay to let them out. Take some time looking around the site and then post whenever you feel comfortable. I hope to see you around the site and I wish you the best. 

[karakarakara]

Thank you @MeBeMary @snmls !

[8888]

Welcome @karakarakara to After Silence.  I’m sorry for all the trauma that brought you here but I’m happy you are here reaching out for support.  Good job taking this step in your healing process.  You are not alone and what happened to you wasn’t your fault.  Take your time exploring and post when you are ready.  If you have any questions feel free to message me. 

Edited June 17, 2020 by 8888

[Ren_]

Hi @karakarakara Welcome to AS, I’m sorry for what you’ve been through 😥 I’m new too & have found this site to be helpful, inviting and very kind. I hope that your experience will be the same. Take your time on here and be kind with yourself. 

T 💚 xx 

[karakarakara]

@Tee06 Thank you! I'm glad to hear your experience is good. I've always felt out of place in so many communities, and everyone here is so welcoming and kind. 

[Ren_]

I get that, it can be so hard to find somewhere safe (& the people) to be open with. I’m glad you found your way here  

T xx 

[marcyabadeer]

On 6/16/2020 at 6:12 PM, karakarakara said:

You can call me Mikya. I'm a trans man, a game development student, musician, writer, and a survivor.

I have experienced quite a lot of this type of trauma, to the point that I don't tell anyone of anything but incidents that everyone have proof, because I know no one will believe me anymore if I do. I've also laughed all of it off for my entire life, and I'm so tired of laughing. I want to grieve and be angry... I heard about this website from a friend I met in residential (for ED) and I decided I probably need a safe place to grieve since I have none outside of my partner -- I'm sure it's an incredibly big burden for her to carry when I'm struggling, especially since she struggles herself with other things, so I don't want her to bear the brunt of all of my trauma meltdowns and mood swings. I feel like it's safe to grieve and process things here. 

I'm in therapy, granted not as often as I need it due to insurance, so my therapist agreed it was important to find somewhere to process between sessions, and this community seems very welcoming. I hope to get to know you all and become friends.  

Hello Mikya

Welcome to After Silence! We are so glad you've joined us. I hope being here can help you process some of the things you are dealing with in therapy. There is actually a section here specifically about therapy sessions and topics related to what is dealt with in those settings. I hope this site can be as helpful for you as it is for me and other members here- I have learned so much about my own healing through other members experiences and information they have provided. It really is eye opening being here!

We believe you. Your trauma is valid and you deserve to find peace and mental clarity from the struggles you face.

Sitting with you if ok?

 

sam 🖤🌻

[missfrier]

On 6/16/2020 at 11:12 PM, karakarakara said:

You can call me Mikya. I'm a trans man, a game development student, musician, writer, and a survivor.

I have experienced quite a lot of this type of trauma, to the point that I don't tell anyone of anything but incidents that everyone have proof, because I know no one will believe me anymore if I do. I've also laughed all of it off for my entire life, and I'm so tired of laughing. I want to grieve and be angry... I heard about this website from a friend I met in residential (for ED) and I decided I probably need a safe place to grieve since I have none outside of my partner -- I'm sure it's an incredibly big burden for her to carry when I'm struggling, especially since she struggles herself with other things, so I don't want her to bear the brunt of all of my trauma meltdowns and mood swings. I feel like it's safe to grieve and process things here. 

I'm in therapy, granted not as often as I need it due to insurance, so my therapist agreed it was important to find somewhere to process between sessions, and this community seems very welcoming. I hope to get to know you all and become friends.  

Dear mikya

I am sorry for all that you have been through.   You have been so brave in reaching out to us, please know that this is never easy!   We are all here for you and we want to support you.  You're not alone in your healing journey and are always welcome to lean on us for extra support.  You can post as much or as little as you like.  We are here to support you in the way you need.  I have found this community to be very helpful.  Everyone is so understanding and non-judgmental and I am hoping you feel the same way once you've gotten to know us a little.   

All my best,

[karakarakara]

@missfrier thank you!