Hello, I’m new :)

[Ali.321]

Hi everyone,

I've just joined this site and nervous about posting but I wanted to say hello and looking forward to hopefully making friends with people on here and being able to hopefully help and be there for people as well as find support for myself.

I find it hard to talk to people in my life about how I feel, especially now that it has been several years since these incidents happened, I just feel like they will think I should have gotten over it by now, and I kinda feel like I should have to, especially as other people have been through a lot worse than me.
Sometimes I’m fine for ages and don’t think it is affecting me anymore and then other times I can’t get stop thinking about it and getting upset and being so mad at myself and blaming myself etc. I just want to know when I will be fully over it.
sorry for the long message! Anyway I’m very happy to be here and look forward to talking with you all.

xx

[MeBeMary]

Hi Ali,

Welcome to AfterSilence. I am very sorry you have experienced trauma and struggle do to it. Sadly, it is not uncommon to feel affects for a long time after, and no...most people who haven't experienced a trauma like this, they do not understand. It's often difficult to understand it ourselves, but it does go beyond the instant. We deal with emotional and psychological effects far beyond the abuse itself...even long after we physically heal.

Please try not to minimize your own situation. I can guarantee that almost every survivor at one time or another (especially after joining a site like ours), tends to compare, but it's not about comparing. There is only right and wrong and what happened to you was wrong. It has to do with being hurt, struggling, and trying to heal. There is no line that says one deserves healing more than another. We all deserve it. You deserve it.

I am really glad you found our site and decided to join. Feel free to look around and interact where you feel comfortable. You will be supported by our understanding and kind members. You are not alone. I wish you well as you journey down this path of healing.

Mary

 

[Ali.321]

Hi Mary,

Thank you so much for your kind and welcoming message. 
I don’t think I realised until I read what you said how much I needed to hear that. I’m so grateful that you took the time to reply.

Thank you x

[MeBeMary]

You deserve validation and kindness. I'm glad it has helped.

[snmls]

Hi @Ali.321. 

 

Welcome to AS. I'm sorry for the trauma that brought you here, but I'm glad you found the site and decided to join. This site is a safe space and were are all here to support each other. I have met so many strong, wonderful survivors on this site and have grown to care for many of the people on this site. It can be hard to talk about your story "in real life," but here you will find many people who share similar experiences and will be able to empathize with you and provide you with kind words and advice. There is no timeline for healing. It is a process filled with ups and downs, but you will get through it. Wishing you all the best.  

[Ali.321]

Hi snmls 

It’s nice to meet you, thank you for your kind message, I feel very welcome here and look forward to chatting to people here. I really appreciate having somewhere to talk to people who understand as yes it can be hard in real life as you don’t know what they will say or think about you or how they will judge you.

take care x

[missfrier]

Dear ali.123

Welcome to After Silence.  I am sorry to hear of the trauma you have been through!

Being here has helped me so much.   Everyone is so caring and supportive here.  I am proud of you for reaching out.  I know that is hard to do.  I also know that you will find that needed compassion and support here within our community.  Know we are here for you and we will listen whenever you would like to lean on us.    

Take care and please do not hesitate to ask for any help if you ever need it.

[8888]

Welcome @Ali.321 to After Silence.  I’m sorry for what brought you here but I’m happy you are here reaching out for support.  Good job taking this step in your healing process.  You are not alone and what happened to you wasn’t your fault.  It's understandable to be nervous posting here.  Take your time exploring and post when you are ready.  If you have any questions feel free to message me. 

[Ali.321]

Thank you, both of you

I feel really welcome here... and I hope I can help people by being supportive and compassionate in return x

[Poppy_]

Hi, @Ali.321 - 

Welcome to After Silence! I'm sorry you've had to go through trauma, but I want you to know that there is absolutely no timeline for healing! Don't feel any pressure to be 'over it'. You will heal in time, when you're ready. Don't rush it. It takes a lot of hard work and even years after the incident, it can still hit really hard sometimes. Hopefully by being here, you will see that you're not alone and that healing is possible  You are loved and supported here always! 

If you ever need anything, feel free to send me a PM any time! I'm around! 

Best,
Poppy