Hi, I'm new here

[itsthewendigo]

My counselor suggested I should try some form of group therapy, unfortunately where I live there is not a place close to do so.  She suggested finding something online and after googling I found aftersilence.  I'm a 29 year old male and about 8 months ago I came out to my wife and mom that I was sexual abused by my grandfather and brother from the ages of 4-14. I also came out that my brother introduced me to numerous drugs after the age of 14.  They were the first people I told. I came out about this because my brother now has a daughter and I don't want the same abuse to occur to my niece.  My mom left that night and I thought she was on my side, but my parents don't believe me, and no one else in my family dose either.  I opened a case with the local sheriffs office where the abuse occurred and I have gotten very little progress or updates on the case.  I know these things can take a while, but I have been feeling very depressed and down lately abut the case and abuse I went through. I have a trip soon to the place where the abuse occurred and its bringing up a lot of bad memories.  I wanted to reach out to a community that understands, and talk with others.  I want to come out more in detail about my story but I will do so later in the share your story forum.   I'm hoping coming out to others about my abuse and listening to other survivors will help me in some way. 

[8888]

Welcome @itsthewendigo to After Silence.  I’m sorry for what brought you here but I’m happy you are here reaching out for support.   Good job taking this step in your healing process.  You are not alone and what happened to you wasn’t your fault.  Take your time exploring and post when you are ready.  If you have any questions feel free to message me. 

[MeBeMary]

Hi itsthewendigo,

Welcome to AfterSIlence. I am very sorry for the abuse you experienced at the hands of your grandfather and brother. You were hurt and betrayed and there is no excuse for this. I am also sorry you have not believed or supported by parents or others. You deserved this at the bare minimum. Do know that you will be supported here and our members are understanding. We believe you.

I find it incredibly brave that you reported the abuse and are trying to protect your niece. I do sadly understand that cases like this are not treated with the seriousness and urgency that it should. It is often times why survivors do not report to begin with. I do hope that the police are able to validate your experience and there is some justice to this, as well as protection for your niece.

I am glad that you have found our community and decided to join. It is another step in what I hope is many for you on this path of healing.

Mary

[missfrier]

 

Dear itsthewendigo

Welcome to After Silence!!

I'm sorry for what you have been through.  I find it is easier to talk on forums then out loud.  Being here has helped me so much, even from the first time I ever posted.  It is still helping me - I have so much support here and I know you will, as well.  Here at AS, we are like a big family and our members are kind and non-judgemental.

I am sending you lots of safe hugs! 

Take care!

[Poppy_]

Hi, @itsthewendigo - 

Welcome to After Silence! I'm sorry to hear not only of your abuse, but also the fact that no one believed you after you took a very brave step in coming forward. I know that couldn't have been an easy thing to do. I'm also sorry you're having so little progress being made with the Sheriff's office. I never filed anything about what happened to me so I don't know much about the process, but I hope things get going more soon. 

In case you don't know, the Share Your Story forum will unlock once you reach a post count of 10. That includes topics you start as well as responses to other threads! If you're anxious to post your story and need to get your post count up, you can always use the Humor and Silliness boards to help with that  

Keep looking around and post as you feel ready. If you need any help or someone to talk to, my inbox is always open! Feel free to shoot me a message any time. 

Wishing you all the best,
Poppy

[itsthewendigo]

Hi all,

Thank you for the encouraging words and support.  It means a lot to me.  I will take my time, post, and reply to other post before I share my story.  I do plan to tell it. I'm going on a trip to speak with the investigator on the case.  Hopefully I will get some more progress soon on it. 

Thank you all so much again.

[marcyabadeer]

@itsthewendigo hello and welcome to After Silence. I am so sorry for the trauma and abuse you’ve experienced from your family  I am so sorry you were met with disbelief with opening up about it to your family. Its absolutely scarring when people don’t believe 💔

good luck speaking with the investigator! Sitting with you if okay?

 

sam🖤

[Colleen21]

Hello.  You are very brave to come forward at all, never forget that.  It is less talked about still but I have men in my life that have told me the same.  I always believe them just as I would if a girl told me the same.  We are here for you whenever you need or want us and always believe you.