The start of a journey

[Butterfly123]

So this is the start of a journey for me... Unfortunately I can't get the help and support from my family because I haven't been able to bring myself to tell them the truth about what has happened. I know that this part I have brought upon myself, but this truth would cause a massive explosion within my family, and hurt those I love. In saying that though, it does make me feel isolated and alone in trying to deal with this. 

I'm hoping that by being involved here, it will help me start to accept what has happened, and help me on the the path towards healing. It was only a few months ago that I found out that I had something to heal from... I learned a family secret and it triggered memories that I had suppressed and had completely forgotten about, but now that it has been unleashed its like a constant nightmare. I was trying to work yesterday and someone just said something to me and just the words brought a memory up that brought me to tears. 

I hope being here and sharing this can start the healing journey...

[Poppy_]

Hi, @Butterfly123 - 

Welcome to After Silence! I'm sorry you're unable to get help and support from your family. My situation isn't the same in the sense that it would cause strife within my family, but they also don't know about my abuse so I don't have their support either and I know how hard that is. Don't think you brought any of this upon yourself. You don't have to tell anyone that you don't want to tell about your abuse - that doesn't mean you deserve to suffer alone. 

We will all want to help you on your healing journey! This community is so supportive and there are so many people here that will be able to relate to you. I'm so sorry you're dealing with so many triggers lately. Hopefully being here will help you to find way to deal with those triggers so you can process them better. Keep looking around the site and post as you feel ready. If you need anything at all, my inbox is always open! 

Wishing you the best,
Poppy

[MeBeMary]

Hi Butterfly,

Welcome to AfterSilence. I am very sorry for what happened to you a few months ago and for the things you suppressed from long ago. Neither situation is right or fair, but you are not alone. This site is filled with understanding and kind members.

I do wish it were easy for everyone to speak out to everyone and not feel the pressure of what might happen. I was in the exact same position and never did end up telling my family. It was sad, but necessary, which sounds the same for you. I have been able to tell a friend and a doctor, but sharing is always up to the individual.

Sadly we can struggle because of abusive situations, but really having a community like this to share and relate with can be a wonderful thing. I do wish you many forward steps on this path of healing.

Mary

[goldraindrops]

Dear @Butterfly123,

I'm sorry for the experiences that brought you here, but welcome.

Many of us face that dilemma - not wanting to tell and hurt family and then feeling isolated in our grief.  It's very real for us, and I'm sorry that you're carrying that burden, too.  

I hope you find some comfort and healing here.

Love,

Gold Raindrops

[missfrier]

Dear butterfly123

Welcome to After Silence.  I am sorry to hear of the trauma you have been through!

Being here has helped me so much.   Everyone is so caring and supportive here.  I am proud of you for reaching out.  I know that is hard to do.  I also know that you will find that needed compassion and support here within our community.  Know we are here for you and we will listen whenever you would like to lean on us.    

Take care and please do not hesitate to ask for any help if you ever need it. 

[8888]

Welcome @Butterfly123 to After Silence.  I’m sorry for what brought you here.  Your abuser brought this upon you, not you.  It is entirely his or her fault.  I’m happy you are here reaching out for support.  Good job taking this step in your healing process.  You are not alone and what happened to you wasn’t your fault.  Take your time exploring and post when you are ready.  If you have any questions feel free to message me.