Confused and Optimistic

[camellia]

hello!

my AfterSilence name is Camellia, nice to meet you. Before I say more, I'd just like to say just, I am so grateful to the people who imagined this, created it, all of the people thereafter who've participated to make this space exist- just, thank you! And now, I'll put a simplified version of what brings me here and a self-introduction:

I think I have a repressed memory from my childhood, around 4 years old, and there have been episodes of sexual abuse since then as well, and in the last week I've begun stringing other patterns in my life (dissociation, inability to connect romantically, etc.), and well, with this pile of just wonderfully very complex, difficult, doom and gloom, I sought out resources, and I learned about this community.

And now for my condensed introduction- I'm in my early 20s, in college majoring in chemistry, I love cooking, movies, music, taking pictures of random things, books, learning about history, and traveling.

If you're here, I am here with you, and I look forward to getting to know some of y'all in this corner of the interwebs :)

[BrightSide]

Hi Camellia, welcome to AS. Im sorry for what you have been through and that you have reason to be here. Im fairly new here myself and am very grateful to have found this community too.

Im in my mid 30s, im studing to be a childrens therapist, I love painting, drawing, theme parks and time with my safe family. B

 

[8888]

Welcome @camellia to After Silence.  I too have repressed memories of sexual abuse.  It can be very confusing but in time things have started to make more sense.  I’m sorry for what brought you here but I’m happy you are here reaching out for support.   Good job taking this step in your healing process.  You are not alone and what happened to you wasn’t your fault.  Take your time exploring and post when you are ready.  If you have any questions feel free to message me. 

[Poppy_]

Hi, @camellia - 

Welcome to After Silence! I hope that we are able to give you some of the support you desire and need here. If you ever need anything, please feel free to reach out to me! I will always be here

I look forward to getting to know you! Wishing you all the happiness in the world. 

Best,
Poppy

[camellia]

6 hours ago, BrightSide said:

Hi Camellia, welcome to AS. Im sorry for what you have been through and that you have reason to be here. Im fairly new here myself and am very grateful to have found this community too.

Im in my mid 30s, im studing to be a childrens therapist, I love painting, drawing, theme parks and time with my safe family. B

 

Nice to meet you, Brightside. I’m thankful that the both of us are seeking some help- it can be so hard sometimes. We deserve help and support and the fact that maybe a part of us inside knows that in itself can already be so encouraging.

A children’s therapist- that sounds so gratifying and challenging! Congratulations! And I also love theme parks and family-time :)

I appreciate you commenting <3

[camellia]

Ah I thought the "Quote" was a "Reply" button- regardless, I'll reply here to the other comments:

Thank you so much for your support and for reaching out. I look forward to being able to experience this community, hopefully I can be of some help to someone out there as well.

[marcyabadeer]

@camellia Hello and welcome to the forums!

I am so sorry to hear you have pain that brought you here, but I am so glad you found us through your research. I hope you find comfort here!

sam 💜

[Mave]

Welcome to AS, @camellia! You have every right to be proud of yourself for making those connections and taking the step to join us here. If you need anything, please reach out.

I love books and learning about history too! I’m finishing my degree this year and enjoy yoga, walks, daydreaming, and finding my keys in the nick of time before appointments. 😂 Look forward to getting to know you!

[missfrier]

Dear cameila

I am sorry for all that you have been through.   You have been so brave in reaching out to us, please know that this is never easy!   We are all here for you and we want to support you.  You're not alone in your healing journey and are always welcome to lean on us for extra support.  You can post as much or as little as you like.  We are here to support you in the way you need.  I have found this community to be very helpful.  Everyone is so understanding and non-judgmental and I am hoping you feel the same way once you've gotten to know us a little.   

All my best,
missfrier

[camellia]

@missfrier Thank you so much for your validating words ❤️, I type with the most scrunched up face because your message was very well-needed haha. I am looking forward to getting to know this amazing community. Thanks Miss Frier!!

[missfrier]

4 hours ago, camellia said:

@missfrier Thank you so much for your validating words ❤️, I type with the most scrunched up face because your message was very well-needed haha. I am looking forward to getting to know this amazing community. Thanks Miss Frier!!

Aww. Your very welcome.   Every one. Here is. So caring and. Understanding 

[MeBeMary]

Hi Camellia,

Welcome to AfterSilence. I am very sorry for the reasons you decided to join, but do know this is a community of wonderfully supportive individuals. There is nothing quite like others who understand. You will find that many of us have similar experiences and even similar confusion on certain childhood things. You are not alone with this. I am glad you decided to join us, it is a very big step to take. I do wish you many more forward steps on your journey of healing.

Mary