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It's really hard to find a community


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Hey everyone,

Thank you for inviting me into your space. I'm a 35 year old survivor who will eventually tell my story when I feel a little more comfortable, but what I was able to read as a guest has really helped me feel like this might be a space where I can feel safe.

I'm just really tired, and I've been trying to work through a lot of my stuff for a long time. I have been really isolated, so I'm trying to find my way to some people who actually understand what this is like. I feel like I'm often walking a path that everyone around me is oblivious to. Since the #metoo movement, I've felt even more isolated and less understood, which has significantly diminished my mental and physical wellness. I have no dislike for the movement itself, and actually expected some relief, so I've been really surprised that it's had this effect on me. It seems that no matter how much visibility there is, everything gets all jumbled up and confused in the public sphere, so I want to come to a more private space to chat with other survivors directly without the whole world watching.

I'm both nervous and excited. I have resisted any sort of group therapy or survivor groups for a long time, for many different reasons. I want to extend my appreciation to everyone for their efforts in making this a supportive space, because from what I've read so far there are some amazing people on here.

A few normie things about me - I'm a scientist. My field of study is cognitive neuroscience and biochemistry. I have two kids, three tortoiseshell cats, and I'm an animist. I love to knit and play really open world video games. I'm hoping to apply to med school in the near future, specifically to train as a psychiatrist, so that I can help other survivors of trauma like us.

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@Adularia hello and welcome to after silence! I’m sorry you have pains and trauma that brought you here, but I/ we are all so glad you found us. 
My name is Sam and I am 28. I have two kids & a cat. This place has been very healing for me and I hope it can provide the same comforts for you on your healing journey. 

sam 💜

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Thank you for your welcome, Sam! I'm glad that there are lots of people here have kids as well!

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Welcome @Adularia  to After Silence.  I’m sorry for what brought you here but I’m happy you are here reaching out for support.  Good job taking this step in your healing process.  You are not alone and what happened to you wasn’t your fault.  Take your time exploring and post when you are ready.  If you have any questions feel free to message me.  Also, once you have 10 posts you'll have access to our Share Your Story forum which is perfect for sharing your story once you are ready.


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Dear adularia

I am sorry for all that you have been through.   You have been so brave in reaching out to us, please know that this is never easy!   We are all here for you and we want to support you.  You're not alone in your healing journey and are always welcome to lean on us for extra support.  You can post as much or as little as you like.  We are here to support you in the way you need.  I have found this community to be very helpful.  Everyone is so understanding and non-judgmental and I am hoping you feel the same way once you've gotten to know us a little.   

All my best,

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Hi Adularia,

Welcome to AfterSilence. I am very sorry for the trauma you have endured and the struggles you are facing. You are not alone. We have a community here filled with understanding and supportive members. You say that you have looked around already, so you know what I say is true.

It is quite alright not to embrace the #metoo movement. Every survivor is different and while it is empowering to some, while for others it is too much to deal with. There is no right or wrong way to view it, as long as we all respect one another, no matter our view on it.

Despite all you have been thru, it is nice that you have not let it hold you back. It takes dedication and determination to go in the field of science and is a wonderful goal to want to eventually use it to go further and help others. I admire that greatly.

Wishing you well as you walk this path of healing.



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Hey there, @Adularia! I understand the nervous excitement you're feeling and felt the same way when I first came here. You've come to a great place, and I'm so glad that you feel this space is safe. :) You don't have to share anything that you don't feel comfortable sharing. We are here to listen to whatever you want to share whenever you are ready to share it, so take a look around and take your time. There's no rush!

I hear you on the #MeToo movement. It's empowered some and been too much for others. Like MeBeMary said, every survivor is different, and that is more than okay. Some people throw themselves into groups and movements quickly, and others take their time or don't feel it's the right fit for them. That is all just dandy! This journey is yours, and it's about what is best for you. Please remember that you are important, and your needs and desires are too. Always.

A few normie things about me: I'm an aspiring writer, and I love books more than some might consider healthy. 😆 I collect piggy banks, inspirational quotes, and psychological theories. I'm devoted to loving animals, baking cakes, and devouring strawberry milkshakes. Also, I think your goal to be a psychiatrist and help other trauma survivors is inspiring! Welcome to the community, Adularia. If you have any questions, feel free to reach out. ❤️ 


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HI, @Adularia - 

Welcome to After Silence! Like you, I resisted joining any type of support group or web community of survivors for a really long time. When I finally joined here, it was done very reluctantly and I didn't participate a lot at first. The more I looked around, the more I realized that this could be helpful. Now, this community is a HUGE part of my life and I am so thankful to have found it! I hope that you, too, will gain some confidence in this community and let it help you the way it has helped me :) It's worth a try! 

If you need anything at all, don't be afraid to send me a message! I'm sure I'll be around. In the meantime, enjoy looking around and post as you are comfortable. I look forward to getting to know you better! 


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Hi @Adularia

Welcome to AS!:wave:

I joined in 2008 and found this community to be mostly understanding and safe. This place has really helped me get through some hard times. Survivors here have given me hope and friendship. I hope you are able to find all this and more as a member here.

tulip :loveas::notalone:

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Thank you to everyone for the wonderful and warm welcome! I'm so excited to hear a bit about you all, so that it really feels like I'm talking to a group of people who live and breathe, and have hopes, dreams, and their own journey.

@Mave every time I see a cool piggy bank when I go to the thrift store, I'm going to think of you!

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@Adularia Aw! That is so sweet! 😍 So glad that you’re here. 💖

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