Hello everyone

[afterthestorm78]

Stormy here. I'm also new to AS and have no clue here to start. I'm 41 and started my new lease on life 3 years ago. I start therapy on the 25th and although I should feel really happy about this I'm terrified TBH. I'm so thrilled to have found AS but it also feels overwhelming ATM. So many beautiful people, so much information and knowing that people here " will just get it and me " Feeling emotional knowing that I'm safe here. Finally a place to find some peace. 

[afterthestorm78]

Hello everyone! Thank you for having me here and letting me share in all of your journeys. I have the utmost respect for all of you. What a brave bunch of amazing souls gather here. I guess you can call me Stormy. I very much look forward to getting to know you and hope to gather some amazing people into my soul circle. Although it feels a bit overwhelming at the moment I couldn't be more pleased to find a safe place to share and learn and most importantly cope with my past and present. 

Much respect to you all and healing light to each and everyone of you 

[marcyabadeer]

@afterthestorm78 welcome to after silence also! I am so glad you are here. I know it is all so much. Just take your time  we are all here when you are ready! 
sitting with you guys!

sam

[marcyabadeer]

@afterthestorm78 hello! I think I just welcomed you on another post; but I’ll do it again:

hello and welcome to after silence! I’m sorry to hear you have pains and trauma that brought you here, but now you are not alone with it. We all understand the pain and the bad days. The loooong healing journey. I am so glad you found us  we look forward to getting to know you! 
 

sam

[Capulet]

@afterthestorm78 - welcome to After Silence!!!  I'm sad that you have reason to be here, but truly feel blessed to have you and your voice among us within our community.  You are not alone in coping with the past, present and future - many of us are in the same boat and there's truly strength in numbers.   

Please feel free to let me know if you have any questions or concerns.

All the best,

Capulet

[missfrier]

Dear  aftertgestorm78

I am sorry for all that you have been through.   You have been so brave in reaching out to us, please know that this is never easy!   We are all here for you and we want to support you.  You're not alone in your healing journey and are always welcome to lean on us for extra support.  You can post as much or as little as you like.  We are here to support you in the way you need.  I have found this community to be very helpful.  Everyone is so understanding and non-judgmental and I am hoping you feel the same way once you've gotten to know us a little.   

All my best,
missfrier
 

[afterthestorm78]

@samantha2009 thank you so very! It does feel like alot BUT not in a bad way. My truth has been a secret for over a decade now and has just come to fruition in the past 6 months. So although historical it's all so new, raw and feels like it all just happened again. I've had to share my "secret" at great lengths in the past months. It's been grueling tbh and terrifying. I have a good couple of weeks of peace and then something will trigger me and BAM its 10 steps back and all the emotions and tears. Some days I feel so hollow and like I'm on auto pilot. Others I'm so happy and content. Life feels like a bit of a living nightmare right now. My whole life is exposed online cuz of my ex husband. I just made a post about it. I'm over here just trying to live my life. Keep my kids safe, happy and healthy and enjoy my new happy life. Everything is truly a rollercoaster day by day. Most are good days but the bad days are just extremely painful and numb. I just want to move forward in my life BUT that's just not possible right now unfortunately. But I see that glimpse of light at the end of the tunnel. I know I've got this! I made a promise to all the people involved to " make this right" and I never break a promise. So to have AS now is a true blessing is disguise. So a BIG THANK YOU to you all for being here. 

[afterthestorm78]

Thanks for making me feel welcome @8888 @missfrier @Capulet @peachyk @samantha2009 🤗

[marcyabadeer]

@afterthestorm78 I’m sorry for what you are dealing with when it comes to your ex  that sounds so stressful. 
I can really relate to you; my trauma is about a decade old and lately has been very hard for me. Too many memories flowing back  I’m glad you found this place where you can hopefully realize you aren’t alone and there are people you can talk to now  

sitting with you

sam

[8888]

Welcome @afterthestorm78 to After Silence.  I’m sorry for what brought you here but I’m happy you are here reaching out for support.  Good job taking this step in your healing process.  You are not alone and what happened to you wasn’t your fault.  Take your time exploring and post when you are ready.  If you have any questions feel free to message me. 

[afterthestorm78]

It feels nice to know that there are people here to talk with although I wish none of us had a reason to be here. What are some things that you do on hard days to cope? I've been reading a ton and ordered a bunch of book off Amazon. My fav so far has been Psychopath Free By Jackson Mackenzie. So many "holy crap that's my past life moments". It's such a good read for anyone recovering from abuse. I feel like it's one of those books that I will read for the years to come. I took a highlighter to it so I can just flip through to the super relatable parts although it feels like it was written for me. I'm at this stage of grieving my past self where I want to absorb all the information out there I can. In some way as strange as it may sound pushing all those memories away was easier to cope. I just shoved all the memories away in a vault closed it up tight as can be and did my best to forget. Now that it's all out there and the vault is open so many more things about my past have come flying out that I had suppressed so far deep down that now the flood gates won't stop. I'm not sure what's worse tbh. Neither feels healthy at the moment. Gosh it's all so confusing isnt it? What's the lesser of 2 evils I keep asking myself. I feel like it's all that I think about these days trying to put each piece of the puzzle together. I know I will never figure out why the me from my past would tolerate a marriage as such cuz dammit you couldn't pay me to stay in a relationship like that now. 

[marcyabadeer]

@afterthestorm78 oh gosh wow I feel like I am reading my own thoughts! I’ve buried everything also and now everything is coming back and it won’t stop! It’s too much and I’ve been drinking more. I really have asked is this really better than locking it all up?! But I mean I don’t know.  Writing it out has helped. Even though it is so hard to even type his words  and then after my husband reading it behind my back I feel truly humiliated to my core! But then relieved that it’s not a huge secret anymore. Nobody has ever known those things about me and now he know it all. It’s so hard to accept! But relieving at the same damn time. 
I’m sorry you are dealing with these same feelings, it’s torture really! 💔

sitting with you

sam

Edited February 20, 2020 by samantha2009

[MeBeMary]

8 hours ago, afterthestorm78 said:

Hello everyone! Thank you for having me here and letting me share in all of your journeys. I have the utmost respect for all of you. What a brave bunch of amazing souls gather here. I guess you can call me Stormy. I very much look forward to getting to know you and hope to gather some amazing people into my soul circle. Although it feels a bit overwhelming at the moment I couldn't be more pleased to find a safe place to share and learn and most importantly cope with my past and present. 

Much respect to you all and healing light to each and everyone of you 

Hi stormy,

Welcome to AfterSilence. I am sorry you have reason to be here but you have found a supportive site. You are not alone. Take your time and look around. I am wishing you the best on this journey we call healingI am sorry you have reason to be here but you have found a supportive site. You are not alone. Take your time and look around. I am wishing you the best on this journey we call healing.

Mary

[afterthestorm78]

Thank you ever so kindly @MeBeMary

[Struggling88]

Hi, Stormy, and welcome! 

[afterthestorm78]

@Struggling88 waving backatca  🤗😁

[Iheartcupcakes]

Hi Stormy, 

Welcome. I am sorry for what you have experienced. I hope you will find love and support here. 

Amy 

[afterthestorm78]

Thanks Amy @Iheartcupcakes 🤗