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Hi 

I am a 56-year-old woman, married almost 30 years and the mother of three children in their 20s. I have dealt with verbal and emotional abuse and occasional physical abuse from my spouse throughout this time. He was abusive to two other young women that he dated in his high school and college years before me. I am seeing an amazing therapist and working on trauma experienced in childhood and throughout my marriage. I have asked my husband repeatedly over the years to please seek therapy and asked him again in August. After doing nothing for 30 years and dragging his feet for 2 1/2 months since August he is finally seeing someone. For this reason and this reason only I am waiting to see if we can make this relationship work or if it’s finally time for me to move on and find my own inner happiness and peace elsewhere. I’m looking forward to the mutual support of a group of this kind.

Lor

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Hi Lorrieann,

Welcome to AfterSilence. I am very sorry for the trauma you have endured during childhood and thru your 30 year marriage, but you have found a very supportive site. The members here are understanding and kind. You are very brave to face your experiences, but past and present. I am surprised, but glad that your husband is seeking help. You deserve happiness and it is ok for you to feel out your options first.

Take your time to look around the site and interact when you feel comfort. Do know you are not alone. I wish you the very best as you navigate this path of healing.

Mary

:youcanheal: 

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Welcome @Lorrieann to After Silence.  I’m sorry for what brought you here but I’m happy you are here reaching out for support.  Good job taking this step in your healing process.  You are not alone and what happened to you wasn’t your fault.  Take your time exploring and post when you are ready.  If you have any questions feel free to message me. 

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Dear lorrieanne

Welcome to After Silence!!

I'm sorry for what you have been through.  I find it is easier to talk on forums then out loud.  Being here has helped me so much, even from the first time I ever posted.  It is still helping me - I have so much support here and I know you will, as well.  Here at AS, we are like a big family and our members are kind and non-judgemental.

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Hi, @Lorrieann - 

Welcome to After Silence! I'm sorry for the trauma you endured but I hope you find a nice place here to heal and make progress in dealing with your pain. This community has been so helpful to me and I know it can do the same for you! 

If you need anything or have any questions, please feel free to reach out to me. Sending happy thoughts! 

Hugs,
Poppy

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Welcome to AS Lorrieann. I'm glad you found  us. I am 48, been married for over 24 years, but separated for 3 1/2. I too begged my husband through the years to get counseling but he refused over and over. I finally moved out (very very long story) and we've been very slowly working through things. (Slowed way down because I too am dealing with childhood trauma)

Is your husband a narcissist? (Incapable of empathy, sees everyone else as an extension of himself, gaslights and lies, periods of charming and love bombing in between outbursts and over the top accusations and tantrums, has a grandiose sense of himself or his accomplishments). Hopefully, he has a T that can see through those things. I hope he genuinely wants to make things work and is willing to face the truths of your hurts, and to seek reconciliation.

We're happy to support you here.

Safe hugs,

 

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