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Good Afternoon,

I just joined this group and i'm brand new to all of this. I'm dealing with child sexual abuse i have pushed these memories down and only realized it till a couple years ago. Now its constantly on my mind. I'm having bad flashbacks and nightmares a lot. My PTSD is making me so irritable towards my wife (i'm gay) i feel like i'm ruining my marriage by the symptoms i'm having. Im just having a hard time with this issue. If you guys have any advice i would love it.

Thank you for listening,

theGr8ful

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Dear Thegr8ful

I would like to welcome you to After Silence's forums.  We are all here for you and want to support you in any way we can. I know that posting for the first time can be scary.  Please don't worry, though; you will always be given so much support from our lovely community and its members.  You're not alone - we are with you.

You will soon receive an official welcome message in your inbox.  Please feel free to respond to that PM if you have any questions about the forum or if you need some help finding your way around the site. 

Take care and keep reaching out 

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Welcome to After Silence.  I’m sorry for what brought you here but I’m happy you are here reaching out for support.  Good job taking this step in your healing process.  You are not alone and what happened to you wasn’t your fault.  Take your time exploring and post when you are ready.  If you have any questions feel free to message me. 

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@Thegr8ful Hi and welcome to AS! I’m sorry for what brings you here, but glad you’re here. I have PTSD too. When I was married (divorced 2 years ago) my husband was having a hard time dealing with my symptoms too. He didn’t really understand what PTSD was. He read up on it and went to a couple of my therapy sessions with me where my T explained to him how to better support me. Hope that helps. :aswelcomesu:

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10 hours ago, Thegr8ful said:

Good Afternoon,

I just joined this group and i'm brand new to all of this. I'm dealing with child sexual abuse i have pushed these memories down and only realized it till a couple years ago. Now its constantly on my mind. I'm having bad flashbacks and nightmares a lot. My PTSD is making me so irritable towards my wife (i'm gay) i feel like i'm ruining my marriage by the symptoms i'm having. Im just having a hard time with this issue. If you guys have any advice i would love it.

Thank you for listening,

theGr8ful

Hi Thegr8ful,

Welcome to AfterSilence. I am very sorry for the trauma you've endured as a child and the emerging struggles you face because of it. It is so wrong that anyone hurt another this way. It's not easy to deal with memories like this. You've made a big step by reaching out to us and I am glad that you decided to join us. Our members are understanding and kind. I wish you the best as you walk this journey of healing.

Mary

:supportu: 

 

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Hi @Thegr8ful,

First off Welcome to AS.  It is a very brave first step to join a site like this and it takes a lot of courage to share your first post. I wanted to say I am proud to be able to welcome you, to our family here.  

PTSD is so hard! I am sorry you are struggling right now with those fairly recently recovered memories. I am really sorry that you were sexually abused as a child, you did nothing to warrant what was done. I am sorry you have to deal with the intrusive thoughts and memories even the flashbacks, I have been dealing with them so many times.  I know these symptoms can put a strain on relationships, while having not been in your shoes as in I’ve never been married, I’ve been in your wife’s shoes.  My ex- fiancé  had PTSD from the war in Afghanistan, he started having issues and cut me out and refused to talk to me.  I loved him regardless of what he thought I would think, and I would still be with him today had he not dumped me claiming he was keeping me safe from him.  Years later when I realized I had issues then found out it’s PTSD I can understand why he shut me out cause I shut people out for those same reasons.  The truth is, our friends and family still love us regardless of our yuck, they want to support us no matter what we are going through.  Talk to your wife, if you feel comfortable take your wife with to a therapy session so your therapist can help you better communicate and understand each other.  The only way your symptoms hurt your relationship is if you let them have control over your life. You got this.  

AS is a community that’s like family, from all over the world. People here will support you and be willing to offer help, with coping skills and even ideas on how to talk to family and friends about stuff. It’s a safe place to vent and share cry and laugh. you've found a great place for support and I can’t wait to see how high you can fly.

BraveOne

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Thank you all so much. This has made me feel like im not alone. These everyday struggles are getting harder but knowing there are other people who get what im going through helps. 

-thegr8ful. 

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Dear @Thegr8ful,

I'm sorry for the experiences that brought you here and for the PTSD.  I think many of us know what those symptoms are like and how they can make relationships difficult.  

One thing that helped me was to try and communicate what some of the symptoms were like.  I did my best to try and explain what was going on (that I was having a hard time with a some issues I was dealing with).  That was helpful.  

I wish you peace and healing,

Gold Raindrops

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