Hello

[Nightfury]

Hey, I’m new here!

I'm not really sure how to start, my ‘ordeal’ happened over a decade ago when I was 15 and whilst I am doing ok most days and don’t think about it to much, for some reason it was playing on my mind a lot today and does creep into my mind from time to time. I thought I would try looking at a forum to speak to people who have been through similar experiences and have a safe space to speak openly. 

Truthfully I am a bit wary as to wether I really belong as mine was primarily an online ordeal which meant I somewhat had a choice, so I sometimes feel I am partly to blame despite knowing that it wasn’t what I wanted, and at the time I didn’t feel like I had a choice... 

[vitamin]

Hi @Nightfury,

Welcome to AS. It is a great community of support and love here, so you have come to the right place!

Please don't feel to blame for what happened to you, it wasn't your fault no matter whether online or otherwise.

I'm sorry for what brought you here, but know that you have come to a fantastic place where you will always be heard.

Vit

[8888]

Welcome to After Silence.  I’m sorry for what brought you here but I’m happy you are here reaching out for support.  Good job taking this step in your healing process.  You are not alone and what happened to you wasn’t your fault.  Take your time exploring and post when you are ready.  If you have any questions feel free to message me. 

[Struggling88]

Hi, Nightfury, and welcome! 

[missfrier]

 Dear @Nightfury

Welcome to After Silence!!

I'm sorry for what you have been through.  I find it is easier to talk on forums then out loud.  Being here has helped me so much, even from the first time I ever posted.  It is still helping me - I have so much support here and I know you will, as well.  Here at AS, we are like a big family and our members are kind and non-judgemental.

I am sending you lots of safe hugs! 

[MeBeMary]

Hi Nightfury,

Welcome to AS. I am very sorry for what you've been thru, but you have found a very supportive site. Sadly, abuse takes many shapes and forms. If you feel you've been hurt and are struggling, we welcome you. Self-blame is often a struggle we go thru. We think what we could have done different...but abusers are the only ones who are responsible. They could have stopped before their behavior started. Feel free to look around. I wish you the best as you find your healing way.

Mary

[Poppy_]

Hi @Nightfury -

Welcome to After Silence! I know you said you feel partly to blame over what happened, but MeBeMary is right - abuse has many forms. There are some things in my life I am just now coming to realize as abuse for the simple fact that I participated. I thought they didn’t “count.” I also want you to know that you are not alone here. Not at all. You are validated and supported! I’m here for you. 

If you need anything, please let me know. I am happy to help in any way I can. If you just need someone to vent to, I’m here for that too  

Wishing you the best,

Poppy