Hi

[kjhlhkjhj]

Hi.

I’m really sorry. I really didnt know what else to do but it’s been so hard because it recently happened again. I thought I was doing okay until it happened. I’m really scared to post my name I just don’t know how safe and secure this is. I just need to tell my story because I feel like it is eating me inside. My sister and close friends know bits and pieces of the first three incidents but I can’t bare to tell them this one. I don’t know who to turn to or what to do. I’m sorry. I don’t know what to say in this post. 

 

[8888]

Welcome to After Silence.  I’m sorry for what brought you here but I’m happy you are here reaching out for support.  Good job taking this step in your healing process.  You are not alone and what happened to you wasn’t your fault.  Take your time exploring and post when you are ready.  If you have any questions feel free to message me. 

[kjhlhkjhj]

Thank you. It’s very kind of you to say. I just wished I believed that it wasn’t my fault and that I didn’t let it happen but I can’t 

[Poppy_]

Hi, @kjhlhkjhj - 

Welcome to After Silence! I’m sorry you’re hurting right now. I understand how scary it is when you first join and you’re not sure how safe this is and if/when you should talk. But I want to assure you that all of the other forums that don’t say “PUBLIC” on them, are completely safe and only visible to registered survivors. 

You never have to post anything you’re uncomfortable posting including your name. You can be called whatever you’d like! 

I can see you’re both scared and nervous. I want you to take a deep breath - you’re okay. This is a safe space, I promise. If you need to talk, please feel free to message me. I’m always online and I’m here to support you. You are not alone. 

Sending safe hugs, 

Poppy

[kjhlhkjhj]

Thank you for assuring me about the other  private forums. 

I am very scared. I’ve been in that hyper alert mode since. It just keeps happening. I don’t know what I’ve done. I just can’t understand why. I tried so hard not to be presentable but it still happens. 

Thank you for being so kind. I will take you up on that offer. 

[Struggling88]

Hi @kjhlhkjhj and welcome to AS! You haven’t done anything! What happened to you was in no way your fault! AS is a safe and supportive site. You do not have to tell us your name. You can say as much or as little as you’d like whenever you’re ready. Once you make 10 posts, the share your story forum will be unlocked and you can make a post about your story there when you’re ready (it’s private). You can also message other members, which is private, if you felt safer doing so. We are here for you. 

[kjhlhkjhj]

I can’t help but feel like I have because it just keeps happening. And it’s so hard to not think that it wasn’t my fault. Thank you though. Thank you so much. 

[MeBeMary]

2 hours ago, kjhlhkjhj said:

Hi.

I’m really sorry. I really didnt know what else to do but it’s been so hard because it recently happened again. I thought I was doing okay until it happened. I’m really scared to post my name I just don’t know how safe and secure this is. I just need to tell my story because I feel like it is eating me inside. My sister and close friends know bits and pieces of the first three incidents but I can’t bare to tell them this one. I don’t know who to turn to or what to do. I’m sorry. I don’t know what to say in this post. 

 

Hi kjh,

Welcome to AfterSilence. I am very sorry for the traumas you've endured, but you have found a very supportive site. I want to assure you that your feelings of self-blame is sadly normal, but it is also untrue. Our minds tend to play games because trauma is very hard to process. I can honestly say that most, if not all of us, has at one time or another blamed ourselves. A person that hurts another like this...they are the ones to blame. I am sorry that you've also had more than one instance, but it doesn't make a single time your fault.

It is fine not to post your name. Full names are even prohibited, so your instinct is right. As Poppy_ has mentioned, there are only a few forums that are public, so staying withing private forums gives you added protection. We also have a staff that watches over things, so do know this is not like some sites where anyone is free to come and go and interact with you, like some sites. Please take your time and look around the site, when you are comfortable, feel free to interact. I am wishing you the very best on this journey of healing.

Mary

 

[missfrier]

Dear @kjhlhkjhj: 

Welcome to After Silence!!

I'm sorry for what you have been through.  I find it is easier to talk on forums then out loud.  Being here has helped me so much, even from the first time I ever posted.  It is still helping me - I have so much support here and I know you will, as well.  Here at AS, we are like a big family and our members are kind and non-judgemental.

I am sending you lots of safe hugs! 

Take care!

[Capulet]

Hello @kjhlhkjhj and welcome to After Silence.  I'm so sorry for the repeated traumas that have brought you here, but I'm so glad you ARE here.  You're in a safe space and among many others who can definitely relate to some of your troubles on some level.  

I echo everybody else - you never have to share anything you're not comfortable with.  Mary is correct - FULL names are prohibited, and you aren't even required to tell anyone what your first name is.  There are many who choose to remain anonymous, and that is always okay.  

Please give a holler if ever you need anything.  I'm always 'around!'

Best wishes,
Capulet

[kjhlhkjhj]

Thank you so much everyone. This support really means so much to me. I’m just afraid to reach out because I don’t want to trigger you guys nor do I want to add to your burden. It’s too much for me to deal with so it wouldn’t be fair to you guys for me to do this. I don’t know what to do. 

[snmls]

Welcome to AS.  I'm sorry for the trauma you have experienced in your life, but I'm glad you found the site.  Never be afraid to reach out for help.  That's what we are here for, to support each other.  You are welcome to post on the forums whenever you feel comfortable and you are never forced to share anything you don't wish to share.  

[kjhlhkjhj]

Thank you for trying to make me believe that that’s true. I will try and be more comfortable with posting. I know I need help I’m just scared and terrible at asking for it.