Hello

[redmess]

Hi, my name is Anna.  I am 55 and a bit years old and this is the first time I have done something like this.  Not tell my story, but go online and join a group like this.

I guess I still need to know that others have similar stories to me and that coping is coping, even when you feel you're not doing so well. Just still being

part of the world is coping. My story, like so many others, started many, many years ago. Long story short - after much time I discovered that I was NOT

the only family member effected by childhood sexual assualt, and we (the survivours) are taking perp' number 2 to court. Prep' 2 because there was a perp' 1, for me anyway.

In fact prep' 1 is long dead and I was the only one 'old enough' to interest him. For many years I forgot all about the other one and sadly, due to my fractured recall

I am only supporting the others in court because I have nothing 'concrete' to state for myself. Prep' 2 (as I will call him) has molested 7 members of his family that we know of.

I don't think I need to tell anyone about how this is causing chaos within the whole family. I remind myself daily that we are all doing what is right, for us, and that is what matters.

Even though I sometimes feel that I am not doing so well at "surviving" I want everyone to know that YES you can, and YES healing is painful and hard (so hard you feel you will

break) but if I can start after 40 years I hope anyone can when they get support and caring they need. Oh, and sometimes it is OK not to be OK. The struggle is long and somtimes

breaks are needed. One step forward, two back and three side ways is still ONE STEP FORWARD.

 

 

[Poppy_]

Hi, @redmess - 

Welcome to After Silence! I'm sorry for everything you've gone through, it sounds horrific. I'm hoping you will find some good support and healing here as you get to know everyone  this is a wonderful community of people that understand all too well the struggles you may be facing. 

It's okay to speak out no matter how long it's been. We are still here for you! 

If you need anything, please don't hesitate to reach out! I'm always around. 

Warm and well wishes,
Poppy

[missfrier]

Dear (@redmess): 

Welcome to After Silence!!

I'm sorry for what you have been through.  I find it is easier to talk on forums then out loud.  Being here has helped me so much, even from the first time I ever posted.  It is still helping me - I have so much support here and I know you will, as well.  Here at AS, we are like a big family and our members are kind and non-judgemental.

I am sending you lots of safe hugs! 

Take care!

[8888]

Welcome to AfterSilence.  I’m sorry for what brought you here but I’m happy you are here reaching out for support.  Good job taking this step in your healing process.  You are not alone and what happened to you wasn’t your fault.  Take your time exploring and post when you are ready.  If you have any questions feel free to message me. 

[snmls]

Welcome to AS @redmess.  I'm sorry for the trauma in your life that has brought you here, but I'm glad you decided to join the site.  We are all here to support each other.  You sound very brave and strong and you are 100% right.  It is never too late to begin healing and everyone can heal.  I hope you find this site to be as helpful as I do. 

[Capulet]

Hi, @redmess - welcome to our community!!!  

Although I'm so sorry to hear of the circumstances that have led you to us, I'm truly glad for the opportunity to get to know you.  Thank you for taking the time to introduce yourself.  I am sure that many here can relate to some of what you've experienced and that connections/friendships will be forged in no time.  After Silence is truly a loving place to be - you'll find so much support here, as well as a sense of acceptance.  As we try to cope and heal, to feel so much less alone is such a comfort.

My best wishes to you - give a shout if you ever need anything.   

- Capulet

[vitamin]

Welcome to AS, I’m sorry for what brought you here. Speaking out is so brave and this is an excellent place to do it. Everyone is kind and understanding here and I’m sure you will feel welcomed and heard. I’m glad you’ve found us ❤️

[silentg]

Hello and welcome to AS,  @redmess!

I am sorry for what you and the other survivors have been through, I know it's tough to start healing 40 years later, I started around the same time. I wish you all the best in your healing and welcome you to share with us here for support and validation as you go through this process.

[redmess]

Thank you all. I already feel more welcome than I have for a long time. Need to remind myself that crying is OK, happy tears.

 

[MeBeMary]

Hi Anna,

Welcome to AS. I am very sorry for the trauma caused to you (and others) by perp1 and perp2. They were both wrong and what they did was not fair to you or others. It is very brave to look for justice and I am glad that you have banned together to do so. I hope he gets his just reward.  

You will find members of all ages here with traumas both recent and happening some time ago. You will find kindness, support and understanding here...which I can see you are going to fit right in with those qualities.   Take your time to look around and I wish you the very best on this continuing journey we call healing.

Mary

Edited August 15, 2019 by MeBeMary

[Minerba]

Hello redmess, how are you? I hope you are okay.

I'm sorry you experienced SA. It was not your fault.

Good on you for supporting your family members through the Court process. I hope you will find justice. Have you read the book "Surviving the Legal System" by Carolyne Taylor? She is from Australia but the book is really good. 

I think you are right, healing is possible but we need to go slow at our own pace and have breaks.

Take care.

[goldraindrops]

Dear @redmess,

I'm sorry for suffering that brought you here, but it was brave of you to take this step.  

There are many kind and supportive people here happy to support each other.  

Feel free to read through our forums and post whenever you like.

Wishing you peace and healing,

Gold Raindrops

[Struggling88]

Hi, Anna, and welcome to AS!