Feeling Nervous.

[maxinemorri]

Hello, everybody!

I'm feeling a little nervous and apprehensive about this post as I have never reached out or done anything like this before, so I am unsure about what exactly to say. I am a child abuse survivor and was abused for over 8 years and as a result of this I have severe anxiety and complex PTSD. I have only ever told one (very special) person about the things that have happened to me in my life but have remained unable to come to terms with what happened to me. I'm nearly 22 now and it is effecting my life more than ever, it has ruined my 2 year long relationship (as he is unable to cope with my outburst, jealousy and episodes any longer), I've become distant from friends, behind in my university work and just generally in a really low place. I have decided to post in the forum as I have never been able to connect with people similar to me, I've started to feel really alone recently. 

Anyway, thank you for reading (if you made it this far) 

maxinemorri x 

[Capulet]

Hi @maxinemorri - Welcome to After Silence!!!

I think it's perfectly natural to be nervous!  I was, too, when I joined this community over a decade ago.   Being able to connect and to communicate with people whom I could relate to was so comforting, especially when I wasn't able to do this before.  I'm always saying how sad I am to meet people under these circumstances, but do believe that it eventually doesn't matter where and how I've connected with someone else - it's just another person out there that understands me and doesn't judge me for any of it.  Truly is a wonderful feeling.

Take your time to look around and don't worry about posting until you're feeling comfortable/ready to do so.   We've no expectations of you other than for you to take it all in at your own pace.  

If there's anything you need help with, please feel free to give a shout or visit our Help Desk forum. 

Happy to have you and looking forward to getting to know you.

Best wishes,
Capulet

[silentg]

Hi @maxinemorri

Welcome to AS, although I'm sorry for the trauma that has led you here. You have found a safe place to connect with other survivors who understand what its like and can validate and empathize.  I am sad to hear that your relationship has been affected by your ptsd, that is unfortunately all too common as many partners struggle to understand. It is not easy to come to terms with years of abuse, it's not something you just 'get over' and forget, but I have come to believe and experience that some healing is possible.  I hope that being here will help you feel less alone with your pain. Please feel free to take your time and have a look around here, post as much or as little as you like. There is no rush or obligation to share it's all up to you.

[Struggling88]

Hi, maxinemorri, and welcome! 

[goldraindrops]

14 hours ago, maxinemorri said:

Hello, everybody!

I'm feeling a little nervous and apprehensive about this post as I have never reached out or done anything like this before, so I am unsure about what exactly to say. I am a child abuse survivor and was abused for over 8 years and as a result of this I have severe anxiety and complex PTSD. I have only ever told one (very special) person about the things that have happened to me in my life but have remained unable to come to terms with what happened to me. I'm nearly 22 now and it is effecting my life more than ever, it has ruined my 2 year long relationship (as he is unable to cope with my outburst, jealousy and episodes any longer), I've become distant from friends, behind in my university work and just generally in a really low place. I have decided to post in the forum as I have never been able to connect with people similar to me, I've started to feel really alone recently. 

Anyway, thank you for reading (if you made it this far) 

maxinemorri x 

Dear Maxine,

There are many people here who can relate to things you've written above.  I'm so sorry for the suffering that has brought you here, but I can assure you this is a safe and understanding community.  Take your time reading through the site and posting whenever you would like and feel comfortable.  Go at your own pace.

This site is full of survivors who know about PTSD, trauma, and the toll it can take on our lives.

Wishing you peace and healing,

Gold Raindrops

[orka]

Hi there @maxinemorri, I’m new too and also apprehensive about this whole support thing! I was reading your post and even though everything you’ve been through is horrible there was so much I could understand so personally. I feel a little less alone right now and I hope you feel a little less alone too. 

We’ve got this,

orka

Edited April 19, 2019 by orka
Forgot to put their name!

[MeBeMary]

On 4/16/2019 at 1:20 PM, maxinemorri said:

Hello, everybody!

I'm feeling a little nervous and apprehensive about this post as I have never reached out or done anything like this before, so I am unsure about what exactly to say. I am a child abuse survivor and was abused for over 8 years and as a result of this I have severe anxiety and complex PTSD. I have only ever told one (very special) person about the things that have happened to me in my life but have remained unable to come to terms with what happened to me. I'm nearly 22 now and it is effecting my life more than ever, it has ruined my 2 year long relationship (as he is unable to cope with my outburst, jealousy and episodes any longer), I've become distant from friends, behind in my university work and just generally in a really low place. I have decided to post in the forum as I have never been able to connect with people similar to me, I've started to feel really alone recently. 

Anyway, thank you for reading (if you made it this far) 

maxinemorri x 

Hi mainemorri,

Welcome to AS. I am very sorry for the trauma that you've endured as a child. It was so wrong and unfair for anyone to hurt you. The struggles we face do seem to linger long after, which is also so unfair. I am glad you found AfterSilence tho. We have many understanding and kind member here who do understand your struggles. You are not alone. Take your time to look around and when you are ready feel free to start to interact some more. I wish you the very best on this journey of healing.

Mary

 

[Kmkz]

Welcome to AS @maxinemorri, it's understandable feeling nervous and apprehensive. Take your time getting acquainted with the site, post when you feel safe and comfortable. I hope you'll feel less alone, supported and understood here. 

[goldraindrops]

Dear @maxinemorri,

It was brave of you to reach out to us and it is understandable you'd feel nervous posting the first time.  The good news is this site is full of kind and supportive people who understand what you've been through.  Feel free to take your time reading through our different forums and then posting whenever you are comfortable

Blessings,

Gold Raindrops

Edited April 20, 2019 by goldraindrops