Introduction

[ABS55]

Hello.  I am new to the forum.  I am a survivor after having been silenced for 40+ years. 
I was made to feel ashamed and guilty for something I had no control over. And, still the community I live wants me to fee like I am the one who should be ashamed for voicing my truth.

[MeBeMary]

Hi ABS55,

Welcome to AS. I am very sorry for the trauma you've endured and the struggles you face. You have found a very supportive site tho, with many understanding and kind members. I find you very brave for speaking out, it was something I was never able to do. Society can be so ignorant when it comes to sexual trauma. Please know that you are validated here. What happened to you was not right and the only guilt and shame should be to the person who abused you. Unfortunately it can be difficult to dismiss these feelings, even if we are the innocent and the ones hurt. I encourage you to look around and when you are ready, jump in. You will find everyone is very nice. I wish you nothing but the best as you walk your path of healing.

Mary

 

[HiddenHeart]

Hello, @ABS55, welcome to After Silence. I am so sorry for the trauma you experienced. What was done to you was not your fault & the shame is not yours. It is so sad to me that so many people can make it so hard to speak your truth. You have found a very safe and supportive place here at AS. 

[ABS55]

Thank you for your kind words. I needed to speak to educate ignorant people. I have heard so many ignorant statements and it made me sick, both figuratively and literally.  It is not just a physical act that you get over, but who you are as a person has been affected forever.  I still wonder about my son, who felt the anger and wrath as a result of being silent.  I was angry for so many years and still to this day think I have subconscious issues with men.  My son and I just can not come to an agreement.  We will tolerate each other for a while.  Then, it goes back to not being able to be around each other.  I pray for healing for our relationships and plan to finally see a therapist when I move in the fall.  Once, I am helped.  Then, I can figure out how to get him help.  Again, thanks for your kind, supportive, encouraging words.

[Struggling88]

Hi, ABS55, and welcome! 

[Susan lipschutz]

Hi. I am also new to the group. I hope we can help each other

 

[Kmkz]

Welcome to AS @ABS55, you've been very brave speaking your truth and trying to educate others. I hope you find what you are looking for to help you on your healing journey and wish you all the best with your move in fall and repairing the relationship with your son. 

[Kmkz]

1 hour ago, Susan lipschutz said:

Hi. I am also new to the group. I hope we can help each other

 

Welcome to AS Susan, you've found a supportive and understanding community. Wishing you all the best on your healing journey. 

[nordic.panda]

I'm so sorry for how you've been feeling for 40+ years. Yesterday was my third appointment with my therapist and we finally addressed the issue of shame, which seems to be the core of what's hurting me. I can't imagine what it's been like for someone who's been dealing with something like that for such a long time. I wish you all the best and I hope you find support and strength in this community

[ShatteredSouI]

Hi ABS55 I’m living a similar life as the past 40+ years have caused me so much pain that I’m hoping to help by being here.