Just saying hello and looking for support and advice.

[lilbutterfly]

Hello, 

For years I've been having difficulty facing what happened to me and tried to block it all out. I disconnected my emotions from the events and I shut down, all i felt was numbness, I never was able to accept that I was hurt so badly. Due to some recent events I finally started to let my emotions out and accept that I was raped.  I joined to find some support and people to relate to. I've also taken a big step and scheduled an appointment with a professional to help me through. 

I would appreciate any advice on how to bring up trauma to a therapist so I can get the help I need. Any talk about how you were able to begin your healing process would also be greatly appreciated

Thank you,

 Butterfly

[Citizenerased]

Welcome @lilbutterfly and what a big step it is to have joined here. You are very brave. Is your T specialised in sexual abuse and trauma? My previous one was so it made it easier to approach as she knew I was here for SA already.

I started my healing with books, lots and lots of books and they helped tremendously. Happy to share titles if you need

[MeBeMary]

Hi lilbutterfly,

Welcome to AS. I am very sorry for the trauma that you have endured and the struggles you face. It is not fair, not is it right. You will find tons of support here at AS. I know it was not easy to reach out here or to take the step and find a therapist, so I acknowledge your courage. I have no perfect advice for you in that area, but perhaps, take your time. I wouldn't think you needed to express everything in the first session and as you find a comfort with your new T, things perhaps will seem easier?  You have already taken two very big steps. I wish you many more as you start you journey in healing.

Mary

 

[Struggling88]

Hi @lilbutterfly and welcome to AS!  For me, I started out in therapy just working on current issues that I had going on in my life. I built up trust with my T (therapist) and then opened up to her about my past. Everyone’s healing path is different. Glad you’re here! 

[lilbutterfly]

@Citizenerased I would appreciate the titles of the books that helped you, and thank you for your kind words.

Thank you @MeBeMary and @Struggling88for the kind welcome.

[pattyr]

Welcome to AS @lilbutterfly. It's brave of you to take these steps out of numbness for yourself, and you will find lots of care and support here. For me my abuse was not visible to me until I had seen a therapist for a long time, so yes it's different for everyone. The main thing is to feel safe, so you could talk about other things first until you feel ready. Sometimes with difficult subjects I tell my therapist a headline "I am going to want to talk about this event but I feel too nervous " and then soon after if ready then it makes it easier to broach the topic. 

[Kmkz]

Welcome to AS @lilbutterfly, you're showing a lot of courage. With therapy it takes time to trust, take your time and trust your judgement. Wishing you all the best on your healing journey. 

[goldraindrops]

Dear @lilbutterfly,

Welcome to After Silence!  

I'm sorry that you have a reason to be here, but you have found and kind and supportive community that understands exactly what you're facing.  

As far as my advice for healing, you have already done it:  take a big, courageous leap of faith and reach out to other survivors and caring professionals for help.  I don't have a lot of experience with therapy yet, but with other doctors I've had to open up to, I'd say go at your pace, trust yourself, and don't reveal too much or move too fast if you don't feel comfortable.  Go at your own speed.  If the doctor/therapist isn't ok with that, they're probably not the right one for you.  

Welcome again.  Feel free to write or PM me if you'd ever like to talk or if you have any questions.

Gold Raindrops  

[AKB]

Hi and Welcome to AS @lilbutterfly!  I am sorry for the trauma you experienced. And that you have kept yourself disconnected from your emotions and traumatic experience. I like to think of my disconnection years as time when I was doing the best I could and wasn't ready to face what had happened. I'm glad you've found us and wish you lots of courage as you begin to walk this next stage of your healing journey. 

Kind regards,

AKB

[M1l0]

I understand, I did exactly the same for over 20 years - pretend it never happened and maybe it didn't!?  I agree with the comments above about reading but I personally find that anything too specific about past abuse is too hard, I find it can raise deep rooted hidden emotions too hard to process without the help of a trusted counselor 

Get a journal. That way you can get all of the stuff in your head out and burn it after if you need, just get it out and dont hold back. Thats very helpful for me