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Ethel

New and Nervous

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Hi everyone. I'm new here, and obviously nervous. I have never been someone who uses the internet or social sites. Typing this feels so weird, but I am desperate to try something new. I would love any advice. I already made one posted in Therapy about medication problems and was so grateful for the supporting messages I finally received. I feel like this place could really help me, but I am so nervous. 

So... Any advice would be so great! I've read through the guidelines but that only helps someone like me so much. Where should I go first? What is sitting or staying with someone? What should I talk about? How do I help others as they help me? What about clicks? Are there groups so to say of friends and I won't be able to break in to them?

Anything would help this nervous Nelly. 

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Hello @Ethel!!  Welcome to After Silence.  

I must have missed your post in Therapy but welcome the opportunity to properly greet you and to clear up a few things for you.  Additionally, you'll soon hear from one of our Newbie Support Team members soon - we have an amazing group of people who are more than willing to help initiate you into this community. :)  One of these lovely members will also be able to answer absolutely any questions you may have, if there are more swimming around your brain.

But, for starters:

Where to go first?  Well, we ARE a pretty big site!  You should take your time and browse the boards (especially those that you feel most describe your current struggles) at a pace which you're most comfortable. :)  That's one of the things I like the most about After Silence.  You're never pressured to share anything you might not be prepared for, nor are you ever obligated to respond to something of anyone else's - it's strictly YOUR choice. 

You can talk about anything you want or need - sometimes we find we are grappling with a specific thought and would like feedback from others who may be in the same boat.  In that respect, posting about it would be a thought, but not a requirement.  Again, when you are comfortable bringing something up, you'll always find people willing to support/provide feedback.  There's really no 'rule' on what to talk about - there IS one, though - and that's on the topic of suicide.  Any plans to, or posts encouraging are strictly prohibited.  It is okay to share that you've had thoughts of suicide, but NOT okay to share any information on attempts or plans to attempt.  Anything else is fair game, though, we seem to have a forum for everything.  Even the fun stuff, or mild, everyday life stuff.  We even have forums for females-only, males-only and LGBT-only - those are password protected, and you may contact me privately if you'd like access to any of those forums.

To 'sit' with someone is actually something we do here a lot on After Silence.  Sometimes when another member is struggling, we may feel at a loss for words of comfort.  Yet, we still want to make it known that we are offering support, so we will say, 'sitting with you,' or in some cases, 'pocket-riding.'  (The latter is used more so when someone has an appointment that they are stressing over.) It's just a nice way of letting someone else know that you're there with them in spirit.  

No cliques here - not that I'm aware of.  I like to think of us as a community - a non-judgmental place where we gather in hopes of gaining support for whatever traumas we've experienced in life.  We do often make friends along the way.  You may find you relate to some more than others, but that's the same as reality. :)  

Anyway - if you have any questions about the site, you can always find me at Help Desk or through PM.

Again, welcome to After Silence.  I am hoping you like it here and that you'll fit in wonderfully. :)

Best wishes,
Capulet

 

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Hi and Welcome to After Silence (AS) @Ethel! I'm sorry for the trauma that brings you here. We are a supportive and caring community. Please take your time to look at posts and share/post when you're ready. You may notice that The Aftermath and Gathering Place tend to have a lot of traffic/responses. Know too that sometimes responses may be slower depending upon the subject matter. Sometimes each of us can be in a place where we just don't have much to say so we may not respond. You may also not be ready to respond to other's posts either and that's all ok. Please don't be nervous here - you will figure things out as you go and we're all here to help you too. I wish you lots of courage as you walk your healing journey!  :youcanheal:

Kind regards,

AKB

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Welcome, @Ethel !  You will soon find your way around.  I was also brand new to any kind of online messaging community when I joined, which showed me how important it was to me, and how important the issue I was facing felt.  I'm sure you are also joining as an act of hope and courage and self care. 

I often look at Browse All Activity, and just see what is most recent in the posts.  Others may like to follow specific forums more.  Gathering Place is a place to get/give support, and it can be around any topic.

Good luck, and you can always ask questions too. 

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Posted (edited)

Hello, @Ethel, welcome to AS. I remember being extremely nervous when I first signed up. The board felt so huge & I had not successfully navigated something like this before. The best advice I received was just to start reading somewhere & if I read something & wanted to respond then I could reply to the thread. You can read as much or a long as you need to in order to feel safe before you reply to anything. No one will rush you and the After Silence community will be here to support you when you are ready. 

Edited by HiddenHeart
Typo

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5 hours ago, Ethel said:

Hi everyone. I'm new here, and obviously nervous. I have never been someone who uses the internet or social sites. Typing this feels so weird, but I am desperate to try something new. I would love any advice. I already made one posted in Therapy about medication problems and was so grateful for the supporting messages I finally received. I feel like this place could really help me, but I am so nervous. 

So... Any advice would be so great! I've read through the guidelines but that only helps someone like me so much. Where should I go first? What is sitting or staying with someone? What should I talk about? How do I help others as they help me? What about clicks? Are there groups so to say of friends and I won't be able to break in to them?

Anything would help this nervous Nelly. 

Hi Ethel,

Welcome to AS. I am very sorry for the traumas you've experienced, but you will find this a very supportive site. The members here are understanding and kind. It is ok to be nervous, but just by looking around, it does get easier. You've gotten some good advice so far, but I would like to add. There is terminology and abbreviations that you have already noticed we use here on AS. Perhaps some that you haven't come across yet. Here is a link of commonly used abbreviations we use.

http://www.aftersilence.org/forum/index.php?/topic/120093-abbreviations-commonly-used-at-as-after-silence/

I am glad you have found us. I wish you the very best on your journey of healing.

Mary

:notalone: 

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Hi @Ethel,

Wanted to take a moment and welcome you first of all and to let you know how deeply sorry I am that you have reason to be on this site at all. Its a very brave thing to join a site like this and I like to point out to new members when I see that courage and give you a pat on the back so to say.  You will find AS is a very warm welcoming place full of supportive folks that are easy to talk with and willing to let you "in" (for lack of better words). Ive been here for a few years now and I have not noticed clicks really at all, we are all here to support one another and do our very best to heal from our traumas. I am thankful that everyone has already filled you in and given some great information, feel free to reach out if you need anything. Looking forward to seeing you suceed on this journey of healing.

BraveOne

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Welcome to AS Ethel, I hope you find what you need to help you on your healing journey. 

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Oh my gosh wow. Thank you all for the support! I was so nervous no one would respond at all. I am so hopeful as I start this new portion of my journey and I hope I can learn and grow here. Find a way back to myself and the world. :)

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I am new to "aftersilence."  I have lived in "silence" for way to long.  I am grateful to learn about this on-line place and I am hoping that I might have found a place where I belong.  As I try to navigate around in this site, please don't think that I am not grateful for any feedback that is offered to me.  I would appreciate any help or comments.  I am not very good at www's, .org's, or anything else to do with computers.  I won't give up trying to figure it out though.  

Living in silence has made it too easy to give up on everything.  I don't want to do either of those anymore.   Thank you all.

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13 minutes ago, Kaychip said:

I am new to "aftersilence."  I have lived in "silence" for way to long.  I am grateful to learn about this on-line place and I am hoping that I might have found a place where I belong.  As I try to navigate around in this site, please don't think that I am not grateful for any feedback that is offered to me.  I would appreciate any help or comments.  I am not very good at www's, .org's, or anything else to do with computers.  I won't give up trying to figure it out though.  

Living in silence has made it too easy to give up on everything.  I don't want to do either of those anymore.   Thank you all.

 

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Kaychip, here's another possibility for the meaning of EMDR:

Every Member Deserves Respect. 

_____________________

I think I will stop with that.  

Happy healing from a crappy feeling, 

Kaychip 

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