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New and just barely accepting the truth


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Hello everyone. For the past 6 years ive attempted to justify everything that had happened. But only recently my past has finally resurface.

Im suffering from memories recurring and im stuck in a horrible painful loop.

I have so many blessings and reasons to be happy. Yet im bouncing back and forth from being depress and angry.

I've never shared my story besides to a random crisis hotline which saved my life.

Hopefully i can find support and strength here.

Im very strong yet vulnerable.

 

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Welcome @Calm forest.  I'm sorry you are in a difficult period of your past resurfacing, and you are not alone.  I'm glad the hotline saved your life, and I hope AS will help provide the support you need to help you heal and get to a better place with the depression and anger.  :aswelcomesu:  This is a friendly place.

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Hello @Calm forest, welcome to After Silence!!!  I'm glad you are here, but am truly sorry for the circumstances that have brought you to our community.

I do hope though that you find peace, comfort, friendship and healing here.  The folks are absolutely wonderful and always willing to lend support.

Take good care, and I look forward to getting to know you!

Best,

Capulet

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3 hours ago, Calm forest said:

Hello everyone. For the past 6 years ive attempted to justify everything that had happened. But only recently my past has finally resurface.

Im suffering from memories recurring and im stuck in a horrible painful loop.

I have so many blessings and reasons to be happy. Yet im bouncing back and forth from being depress and angry.

I've never shared my story besides to a random crisis hotline which saved my life.

Hopefully i can find support and strength here.

Im very strong yet vulnerable.

 

Hi Calm forest,

Welcome to AS. I am very sorry for what happened to you six years ago and the struggles you have faced. You have found a very supportive site. Our members are understanding and kind. I am glad that you reached out to that crisis center and now to us. It's a hard thing to struggle with alone. I wish you the very best as you walk this path of healing.

Mary

:notalone: 

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Dear @Calm forest,

Welcome to After Silence.  I'm sorry for the experiences that have brought you here, but I can assure you many people here can relate and understand.  

We know all about the memories, back and forth moods and difficulties in sharing.  

I hope you find friendship and healing here.  This is a safe and kind community.

Gold Raindrops

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17 hours ago, Calm forest said:

Hello everyone. For the past 6 years ive attempted to justify everything that had happened. But only recently my past has finally resurface.

Im suffering from memories recurring and im stuck in a horrible painful loop.

I have so many blessings and reasons to be happy. Yet im bouncing back and forth from being depress and angry.

I've never shared my story besides to a random crisis hotline which saved my life.

Hopefully i can find support and strength here.

Im very strong yet vulnerable.

 

Hello and welcome to AS!   I am sorry that you are having such difficult painful memories, I can relate to the experience of everything coming to the surface many years later. Please be gentle with yourself during this time, it feels horrible right now but it can be part of the path to healing, for things have a way of needing to come out. I am glad you found support through a crisis line and I hope you will find lots of support and strength here as well.  It makes sense that you are bouncing back and forth in feelings,  trying to integrate traumatic memories of things you never should have had to experience is very emotionally difficult.  Take your time here and feel free to share as much or as little as you choose, when you are ready.  I wish you the best as you continue to heal,

g

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